25 weeks and just been dumped.

[Snowball]

I'd been having problems with my OH for 2-3 of months. To cut a long story short I had to call a sudden halt on my plans to move in with him when I was 12 weeks for reasons that he said he was going to get help for but then decided not to (can't go too much into it).

Ever since I feel like he's blamed me for highlighting that he does need some help (I was more than willing to go to appointments etc with him), he's grown increasingly distant and tonight he dumped me via text message... Which was great and did wonders for my self esteem and faith in men

This baby was planned after we suffered a loss of twins at 14 weeks last November. OH was desperate to be a dad and took the loss quite badly and I felt a lot of guilt for my body failing. I found out I was pregnant again in March.

The problem I've had though is as it's all been quite stressful, I've really struggled to bond with this baby. He has made it clear to me that he's going to go for full custody at any cost so I have struggled to form any attachment to her which makes me feel like a horrible person . I never had this problem with my other children and I don't know how to deal with it because in the back of my mind I'm thinking that he's going to make my life hell till I agree to hand her over. He tells me that I already have kids and am being selfish if I keep her as he doesn't have any... I don't know what to do.

I live in this confusion about what's going on in my life. I don't know how it's all fallen apart like this and I spend all day holding it together for my kids, then I can't sleep at night. I haven't eaten properly for nearly a week, I just feel like a failure

 

[Tropiclands]

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. Are things any better now? Dumping through text message is immature. I once had to do it and didn't want to, but my accounts for direct communication were ignored. Anyway though, of course you need to bond with a child that is growing inside you. If he is mentally unstable, on the courts will obviously consider that in awarding custody. You're already raising kids, whereas he is not. You also have kids that the little one can bond to and grow up with. You have things on your side. That is huge.

 

[Sarahcake]

Unless there is a damn good reason why he would need to have full custody, which if their was, your other kids wouldn't still be in your care he will absolutely not get that so let him continue to live in cloud cookoo land because that's where he is right now.

I'm really sorry that this has happened to you. Break ups are awful to deal with, break ups by text is savage and to do that when your pregnant is absolutely brutal. He doesn't deserve to be with you from the sounds of it.

I really hope you can move forward from this, take some time for you and your children. Focus on them and that unborn baby. I totally get the struggling to bond thing, I'm there also but I have no reason to not be bonding I'm just finding it hard. You have so many valid reasons to be struggling. Don't give yourself a hard time, take each day as it comes x

 

[Baby France]

Hey honey

How are you? Hope you are ok? You've had a lot of crap going on recently and quite frankly, need to be kinder to yourself. I'm not surprised you don't feel like you've bonded with the baby. You've not even had a moment's peace and with so much happening, you don't know whether you are here or there!!

You are most definitely not a failure! You've overcome so much and need to look after yourself.

Thinking of you xx

 

[babycrazy1706]

Hope you're ok xx

 

[Milina]

I think he needs a very good reason for his Actions. Otherwise he won´t get the kid. In my opinion there is just no reason for it .

 

[Snowball]

Sorry for the late reply, so much has happened since this post it’s just made my life go mad.

Long story short the baby’s dad has been in prison since the end of August on charges for crimes against me, we are now completely over. I feel ok, I certainly feel more safe. It’s all been quite stressful but I keep taking one day at a time and hopefully if I keep going that way then one day I’ll wake up and life will be bearable again.

One step at a time, I’ve done this before and I will do it again.

 

[Wobbles]

I've replied to you about this elsewhere but x