Hello
Aw, you are so lovely and thoughtful.
My LO was born at 27 weeks, and she was 1lb 13oz at birth. She was in intensive care for 7 weeks, high dependency for 3 weeks and special care for 2, and came home 6 days before her due date.
We were encouraged to do all her cares - nappy changes, tube feeds etc from a couple of days old, and after 3 weeks we were allowed very occasional cuddles (but I know some units encourage cuddles more than others and it also depends how stable the baby is).
The baby will need help with breathing, either by a ventilator or on CPAP, will be fed through a tube, and possibly need treatment for jaundice. There will be various other wires etc but the nurses will be able to explain everything to your friend. Tell her to ask as many questions as she needs to - they're always happy to explain everything and it's better to ask questions than be scared. There will be monitors so that they can keep an eye on everything and the beeping can be scary until you understand it.
Your friend will still probably want to be treated as any new mum - so don't be scared to give her a card and present for the baby, or flowers, and do say congratulations. In way of support, things like cooking her some meals so that she can spend more time at the hospital and not have to worry about cooking is always helpful, and just being there for her if the going gets tough. She will have ups and downs as the weeks go on but that's completely normal. Some days I felt absolutely fine, other days I was bursting into tears all the time.
If I was doing it all over again, I wouldn't allow so many visitors, and that's something you might want to tell your friend. We found that the world and his dog wanted to visit Sophie and I think it was purely because she was the tiniest baby they'd ever seen, and sometimes it felt like she was a freak show, if that makes sense. They trooped in every day in visiting hours, always in twos, so either DH or I had to sit out in the waiting room, because we were only allowed 3 round the incubator. Mostly it was people I didn't even know - lots of DH's work colleagues, and various relations who we've never seen since. Looking back, I wish we'd had more time just the 3 of us.
That's all I can think of just now. Sophie is coming up for 3 (in March) and thankfully has not been left with any issues (nothing that has surfaced yet anyway). She's completely crazy and lovable and a day never goes by when we are not grateful for our little miracle!!
I hope all goes well for your friend and we are all here for you both if you have any more questions. xxx
xx
