27 weeks premature

[Battousai]

Hello i am Chris aka Battousai.

I am a male, 21 years of age. I recently gave birth to a 27 premature baby girl (Cheza Marie) I do hope this is the correct section. But anyways i have been looking for info in hopes of boosting my moral of the % of babies this early and the success rate. Im scared compleatly beyond words could imagine as i am unemployed at the moment, this is my first child and she came so very early before i even thought of prepairing (yes im preparing now for her)
But could anyone offer advice of what i should have for when the baby comes home maybe a parent of a premature around same time that could maybe give advice i mean its just scary seeing how small she was and how fragile she is

Anything i noticed is i have transportation issues to go to hospital to vist her, tho i dont feel bad for not being there and its scaring me making me think im distant i mean i was so amazed when we gave birth and the feeling of accomplishment and pride could not be explained. But i can't help to feel like i will be a bad father cause of the fact i dont feel i have to call the hospital 3+ times a day tho i do worry about her so much. Are these reactions normal in my case?

I guess im just seeking advice im not sure i mean i feel like a kid myself idk how i will be able to raise one and to see how fragile she is im so scared i will just mess up or something.

If this is the wrong section i am sorry and do hope the mods will direct me to the correct section.


Here are some pictures also she is truly a angle.​

https://img810.imageshack.us/img810/3141/feetprints.png
https://img214.imageshack.us/img214/9233/babypic1.jpg
https://img827.imageshack.us/img827/8833/babypic2.jpg​

 

[25weeker]

Congratulations on your baby girl she is beautiful.

It is scary when they are born so tiny and everything you are feeling is completely normal. The journey through Nicu is a rollercoaster and you can expect many steps forward and backwards with these little ones. There is no right or wrong way to deal with the Nicu journey so do what you feel is right. I personally didn't ring Nicu very often as I didn't like bothering them and knew if there was anything bad they would contact me but others rang frequently.

My little one was born at 25 weeks and she was in for 14 weeks and came home a couple of days before her due date. I didnt have anything when she was born and a couple of weeks before she was born I had a mad rush to get stuff and at that point I only got the basics - a crib to sleep in, a car seat, pram, nappies, clothes & blankets. I would recommend waiting until she will be going home soon before the nappies and clothes so you get the correct size.

Any questions the people on these boards can usually answer.

 

[Battousai]

Thanks for the reply. The nurses did warn me of the NICU rollercoaster (exact words) Guessing its the offical term lol , its reassuring that my emotional issues atm don't mean i am a bad father. I may have a crib soon lucky still trying ot get a bassinet (think i spelled that right) I posted on my website for donations due to hard times so hopfully some donations will come in, My brother will send me his old baby cloths for when she is big enough to fit them so that will save a bit of money and breast feeding also.

I still worry like hell about her tho ima be so scared to hold her for there first time. I know krystal (my girlfriend) kinda pushed away when doctor put the baby on her chest to cut the cord. I thought she was disgusted so i asked her about it to make sure she was on and she burst into tears told me how she was scared to touch her cause she thought she would hurt her that brought tears to my eyes which im not much of a tear jerker

One more question tho the distance i feel between me and my daughter would our bond grow cause that scares me very much to

 

[katy1310]

Hi and congratulations on your beautiful little girl.

My daughter, Sophie, was born at 27 weeks as well. I would totally agree with what 25 weeker has already said. Regarding the bonding issues, I spent a long time worrying that I wouldn't bond properly with Sophie, because we had to watch her relying on other people for everything she needed, and we live a 120 mile round trip from the hospital so we couldn't be with her as much as we'd have liked.

I had to wait 24 hours to even see her for the first time, and I remember being so overwhelmed and scared, I was only able to spend 5 minutes with her before feeling I couldn't cope being there. The nurse told me I could touch her, and I literally just touched her with one finger and took my hand back out of incubator again. I was terrified in case I hurt her, and I was scared to get too attached in case the worst happened. However, as the days went on and it became clear that she was a fighter, I did start to feel "braver" about getting attached to her. I still didn't really start to feel like she was my baby until she was in special care at 10 weeks old, and the proper feeling of being her mummy didn't come till she was actually home.

I worried so much in case I wouldn't bond with her, in case I'd never feel like her real mummy, and in case I would feel like we'd adopted her. For a while I did feel like we had, but then the longer she's been home with us, the more we have bonded and now we have such a close bond. It's amazing when you start to see them recognising you and being pleased to see you. Sophie has always had big smiles for her daddy when he comes in from work, but tonight she actually put her little arms out to him for him to lift her up - it was the first time she'd done that and it was amazing! Don't worry, a close bond will come. I struggled for a long time worrying about that but it turns out I didn't need to.

You're certainly not a bad father - the very fact that you've posted on here proves that! It's a difficult time for any parents and not something you ever expect to have to go through. We didn't have a single thing bought when Sophie was born, but we did get a lot of presents and my brother lent us their moses basket and swing. We've still had to buy very few clothes because Sophie's only just outgrown the presents people gave her when she was born (that's one good thing about having a preemie - they fit each size of clothes for ages so you get loads of wear out of them!)

Any questions, people on here will be only too happy to help.

One word of advice - make sure you two take some time out for yourselves - it can get very intense in neonatal, and it's ok to have some time at home to catch up on sleep, laundry etc and just relax. Your baby is in good hands.

xxx

 

[Battousai]

ya i been doing alot of gaming to coop with some issues.

As embarrassing as it is my gf caught me watching porn So when she head the audio n the head set she assumed the worse. So Natrulaly minamized everything when she peaked , I donate my time to help a online gaming forum (moderator/tech support) so i have many male/female people adding and chating constat cause im staff on this very popular site. So when she saw a girls name on msn, she called me babe which i told her not to do shortly after but she assumed that i was cheating. She posted on her face book to a friend she thinks the stress from that is what caused the premature birth.

We sat down and talked about it earlier, so i suppose thats why im taken things so harshly atm kinda just feels like everything is my fault.
Tho the gamming helps me distract my mind when playing with friends or simply playing with my gf.

 

[Battousai]

(sorry to bump can't seem to find a edit button on the thread for my post to add to last response)

Just wanted to thank everyone once again for taken the time to answer and let me know i am simply having normal reactions to the new baby and all. It truly does give me a positive outlook specially after hearing other babys as young to as well has came out great. So thankyou all truly I will most odds be on this site alot to learn as i progress and learn as every day is a learning experience it seems like.

 

[AP]

Hey hun, welcome to the site and congrats on the birth of your daughter!

27 weeks is generally the magic number, the chances of survival is pretty positive. I have a lil girl born at 27+4, her blog is here

www.babygagasdiary.blogspot.com

She is now almost 18 months old, and one crazy baby . She did have a few lil complications but nothing that affects her now!

We're always here with advice so feel free to post whatever you're feeling. We're quite close knit in this section

 

[Anna_due Dec]

my husband is a FANTASTIC hands on dad but he didn't need to be in the hospital every five minutes like i did. We have had 3 prems and each time he seemed distant and when they came home he was as hooked and in love as me. Dads seem to do and feel differently. I met a mum during my last prem journey and she said her husband was exactly the same but adores their children so dont feel guilty. having said that be there when you can and support your gf as much as possible. goodluck.