3 1/2 year old keeps hurting the baby-help! :(

[Yo_Yo]

Dd2 is 3.5 and was so loving when baby came along. No issues.

However, recently she has started hurting her 7 month old brother, and it's totally without of the blue each time. She's gone up to him in his walker and squeezed his skin until he was hysterical, hit him and today I wet upstairs leaving baby on his play mat and daughter on sofa watching TV and I could hear this banging and awful scream. Came down to find her stood over him hitting him really hard with a plastic tub. He has red marks. Luckily he seems ok in himself. I'm so upset why does she do this? And why doesn't she care when I tell her off about it? She isn't bothered she has hurt him, which is a concern to me.

Anyone been through similar?

 

[Googiepie]

I don't really have any advice but didn't want to read and run. Maybe she's hit a jealous stage now that he's a bit older? I know my niece got more jealous of my daughter as she got older and was playing with things more. For now, I probably wouldn't leave her alone with him.

 

[lewood88]

My dd1 whent through the same thing with dd2 it was a nightmare the main thing she did was bite dd2 alot, it got to the pont anywhere i went in the house i had to take dd2 with me i just couldnt trust dd1 anymore, she has grown out of it now a d they play lovely together they do have there moments of fighting which is very rare now

The only advice i can give is keep correcting dd explain to her its not nice to hurt her brother then hopefully in time she will stop hurting him xx

 

[SillyMoo1983]

My DD has hurt my DS a few times. DD is 3yrs 10 months and DS is almost 13 months. She only tends to hurt him if he's grabbing her toys or her. Last week he was pushing his ride on car along and accidentally bumped into her, hurting her leg. She retaliated in anger by squeezing her arms around his neck so he couldn't breathe luckily I was there and I did shout at her out of panic and shut her out the room while she cried. I let her back in when she said sorry to Thomas and gave him a kiss. I have to keep a really close eye on them, especially if DD is tired and grumpy. Thankfully she's fine most of the time.

She does really benefit from one to one time too. If I can take her shopping or for a walk for a couple of hours while OH watches DS it does give her a boost. DS takes up so much of my time as he's very clingy. When he's asleep me and DD cuddle with a DVD/do colouring/gardening/baking etc.

 

[SarahBear]

Some kids are just fine until the new little one starts showing signs of mobility. At that point the baby feels like a threat and more of a source of jealousy than before. As far as not having concern for having hurt the baby, your older child doesn't realize how much she can hurt the baby. It's not particularly unusual for children this age to act out their frustrations or other negative feelings physically and that doesn't change just because the baby is smaller and more vulnerable.

My daughter is 2.5 and was rather aggressive toward Leo in the first month of his life, but kind of mellowed out after a while. She still harasses him frequently, but not with the same outright aggression. So not quite the same situation, but I have gone through the emotional difficulty of having an older child act aggressively toward a younger sibling.