#3? Advice, thoughts, suggestions please!

[Missy08]

So I'm going to try and make this post short but still get in all the info lol! I'm just looking for thoughts/advice here DH & I currently have 2 DD's. Oldest is 8 and youngest is 3. We had sort of talked off and on about whether we wanted more but haven't talked about it in a while and it seems like we're just sort of done at 2. Well we recently had a pregnancy "scare" but ended up not being pregnant. I found myself disappointed the test was negative and had started thinking about wanting to try for #3. I am 31 (DH is 33) and we are more financially stable than with our first two and we have the space in our home. I also work from home now so daycare wouldn't be a factor with this one. For some reason I keep going back and forth and the decision seems impossible for me! I can't imagine not having another one at this point and would be ready to try now if DH was on board but then at the same time, I worry if we could handle 3. 3 seems like so much more than two I'm also not sure DH wants anymore....he seemed pretty relieved when the test was negative

 

[BabyBrain80]

I'm with you on this one, I have major doubts constantly. In the space of an hour I can go from - it's what I really want to jeez what a stupid idea, then back and forth another couple of times!!

My story is a little different to yours in that OH is quite happy to have more, he'd "fill the house" if he could. It's me that worries.

I have 2 DS, they are turning 6yrs& 3yrs in the next few weeks. I worry a bit about space and finances for when they are older and cost more! But I worry most about coping, these 2 are quite hard work. About practicalities. And about what my parents will say. I'm sure they will think I'm crazy! My mum has helped out a bit but I feel I may be on my own. I only work a few mornings but I may be able to do quite a bit from home in the beginning.....it's a nursery too so very child friendly if I had to take baby in lol.

Anyway, I want that bigger family when I'm older. It may be a struggle at times for a few years but worth it when they have each other. I know I will regret it if I don't try. That's why I'm here.....with more fear than either of the first 2! But I'm now ready for that BFP to appear.

I have a few friends with 3 or 4 kids. They have all said it wasn't that much of an impact having the 3rd.....I'm not sure if they are telling the truth! Lol

I guess you need to have a good chat with your OH. Talk it over and be honest how you feel. He may feel the same, confused. This article helped me a little. Good luck whatever you decide xx

https://www.babble.com/pregnancy/the-advice-that-helped-me-decide-to-have-a-third-baby/

 

[happycupcake]

I think you and your OH have to have a proper talk about it. I wouldn't worry too much about three being more than two, to be honest I don't think it makes much difference in terms of being harder to cope with. You are already fine having two children, so I doubt what with all the thought you have clearly put into this as well that another would be a struggle. Some people have ten children and are perfectly able to cope. If this is what you want, then I think you should tell your OH

 

[Missy08]

I'm with you on this one, I have major doubts constantly. In the space of an hour I can go from - it's what I really want to jeez what a stupid idea, then back and forth another couple of times!!

My story is a little different to yours in that OH is quite happy to have more, he'd "fill the house" if he could. It's me that worries.

I have 2 DS, they are turning 6yrs& 3yrs in the next few weeks. I worry a bit about space and finances for when they are older and cost more! But I worry most about coping, these 2 are quite hard work. About practicalities. And about what my parents will say. I'm sure they will think I'm crazy! My mum has helped out a bit but I feel I may be on my own. I only work a few mornings but I may be able to do quite a bit from home in the beginning.....it's a nursery too so very child friendly if I had to take baby in lol.

Anyway, I want that bigger family when I'm older. It may be a struggle at times for a few years but worth it when they have each other. I know I will regret it if I don't try. That's why I'm here.....with more fear than either of the first 2! But I'm now ready for that BFP to appear.

I have a few friends with 3 or 4 kids. They have all said it wasn't that much of an impact having the 3rd.....I'm not sure if they are telling the truth! Lol

I guess you need to have a good chat with your OH. Talk it over and be honest how you feel. He may feel the same, confused. This article helped me a little. Good luck whatever you decide xx

https://www.babble.com/pregnancy/the-advice-that-helped-me-decide-to-have-a-third-baby/

This is exactly how I feel! One second I'm ready to start TTC then the next, I'm like "that's insane!". This is def. a much harder decision than the first 2. I also worry about what people will think. I think most of our family assumes we are done, but I think most everyone would be excited. I always think about when the kids are older, too, I like the thought of having a big family when I'm older and my kids having each other (even though the age gaps are a little large).

My sister in law has 4 kids and she said their 3 just kind of fit right in, like she'd been there all along.

 

[happycupcake]

I wouldn't let what others think stop you. It isn't their life, it's yours and you should do what makes you happy

 

[Gypsy99]

Everyone I've spoken to has said that the third child just slides right in.


I'm hoping so! I'll have 5 years at least between baby and my DS when we are finally successful. .

More than welcome to join us in the other #3 thread. We are a friendly bunch

 

[rebeccalouise]

I have a nearly 5 year old, and a 14 month old.. just found out we're expecting #3! I'm scared, but so excited as we were trying for over a year! I'm scared mainly because having 3 does seem so much more than 2! but then I remembered that I felt the same when I was going from 1 to 2 - I'm sure it'll all come naturally, and they'll fit in just perfectly. I think if you overthink it, there's never a right time. There will always be something that puts doubt in your mind. In my heart though, I knew I wanted another, and so did DH. Everything else, we'll work out along the way!
I think you should sit down and talk to your DH about it first, see how he's feeling, and then go from there. Don't let what others think stop you, it's your life! GL. X

 

[happycupcake]

I have a nearly 5 year old, and a 14 month old.. just found out we're expecting #3! I'm scared, but so excited as we were trying for over a year! I'm scared mainly because having 3 does seem so much more than 2! but then I remembered that I felt the same when I was going from 1 to 2 - I'm sure it'll all come naturally, and they'll fit in just perfectly. I think if you overthink it, there's never a right time. There will always be something that puts doubt in your mind. In my heart though, I knew I wanted another, and so did DH. Everything else, we'll work out along the way!
I think you should sit down and talk to your DH about it first, see how he's feeling, and then go from there. Don't let what others think stop you, it's your life! GL. X

Precisely. We started out with our children separately from previous relationship so had two living with us, had our first together then had a surprise ten months down the line. This was less than ideal timing but you make things ok and things are ok