30 weeks and on my own..

[Jem_x3]

Me and FOB have officially split up.. What do I do now? For 30 weeks we've been planning our future together with this baby, planning to move out and be a family and now he wants nothing to do with me.. He's always had an anger problem and been so closed off because of his past and he was always good at making everything my fault.. but we were getting along so well the past few months and suddenly he gets angry about everything again and hates me and now doesn't want me I don't know what to do because I love him so much.. I can't stay living at home but how am I going to do this on my own? I'm sorry I know I sound so pathetic but it hurts so much especially when things seemed so perfect but now I'm going to be all alone

 

[bloodbinds]

Big hugs hun, it's ok, we all know how you feel, we're either going through the same thing, or have been through it! It will be tough, but i promise it will be ok in the end I loved FOB so so much and i spent 6 months of my pregnancy planning where we would live, what we were going to do and how we were going to be family, then one day he decided he didn't want to anymore! Lol. It really was heart breaking and i didn't know what i was going to do.

And now i'm a proud single mummy, living in my own flat, soon to start work, and i don't need no man! You'll be ok hun, i promise

 

[ivy-pickle]

Sorry to hear about whats happened hun, i dont know if you already have children or not, but if you haven't i can tell you that all that will matter to you after you've had this baby-will be the baby,although it must seem impossibly hard now, you'll get through it for your little one!xxx

 

[Jem_x3]

Big hugs hun, it's ok, we all know how you feel, we're either going through the same thing, or have been through it! It will be tough, but i promise it will be ok in the end I loved FOB so so much and i spent 6 months of my pregnancy planning where we would live, what we were going to do and how we were going to be family, then one day he decided he didn't want to anymore! Lol. It really was heart breaking and i didn't know what i was going to do.

And now i'm a proud single mummy, living in my own flat, soon to start work, and i don't need no man! You'll be ok hun, i promise

Thankyou. What's your secret? lol. I wish I had a crystal ball so I could see the future.. the uncertainty of it is what scares me most. I just want the best for me and LO. I hope he'll still be a daddy to her and not lose interest

 

[mamashakesit]

Sorry to hear this. My guy dumped me just 7 weeks in, so I have lots of time to get accustomed to the idea. It does hurt and will hurt for awhile, I know.

I spent nearly 4 weeks on my couch crying and sick and miserable (a lot of that was morning sickness). I know its hard, but get out of the house when you can, even for just a short walk, do some gardening and hang around someone. Doesn't even have to be a good friend. Go to a coffee shop and read...it's amazing how much being around people can make you feel comforted and keep your thoughts on what needs to happen, not what could have been. Hugs.

 

[NattieK]

You don’t sound pathetic at all. I’m really sorry you’re going through this, it is heartbreaking thinking everything is certain then finding out it’s not.

My ex dumped me when he found out I was pregnant and my family didn’t want to know and kicked me out. I was lucky because I was able to move in with a friend and received a lot of support from her and her family.

Just take one day at a time, you need to stay strong not only for your health but also for your LO. When they are born everything else seems less important and all you care about is loving and caring for your baby.

Lots of hugs xxx

 

[mummaofthree]

awww.... i was right there... exactly where u are back when i had my son.... the anger problem... being closed off about his past.... babes. i know its hurts but trust me... itll hurt so much more if your let that anger problem affect your childs life too... the best thing you can do is stop.... breath... focus on you and your little baby girl.

i did what u now know was wrong.... i chased him.... i told him id do anything for him to try being a family..... well we had our son... we had our daughter... we had one hell of a destructive relationship and i ended up having to flee to a refuge to get away from him... looking back i wish id let him walk when he was willing to. when the anger hadnt held me there... or him.

im 22.... i have 2 babies and i do it on my own. i do have a new partner but he lives in another country so im doin it on my own still. you can find a place.... i can help if you want, ive been there n done that n if it something i kno then ill pass on anything i can. n if your living at home... how alone are you?? when i had my son my mum went from my worst nightmare to my best friend.... when you become a mum you get a whole new circle of friends... a new family and your not as alone as you think...... youll be fine..... i promise x

 

[scottishgal89]

im sorry your going threw this
my ex broke up with me when i was 20weeks pregnant and trust me you will get threw this.
because its what we need to do.
you need to prioritise yourself and your lo from now and battle on.
tbh the pregnancy is the hardest bit because you feel so lonely and your all over the place but at soon as you have that little bundle in your arms it will all seem right.
you'll be a fab mummy and at the end of the day its his loss.
try not to let him ruin this time for you. its the most amazing experience you'll ever go threw and being a single mummy is very rewarding.
my ex was very closed off about his past and would get really angry, he ended up abusing me it got so bad. maybe your better out of there. you deserve someone who'll treat you like a princess and one day you'll find him
we're all here anytime you need to talk babe xx

 

[Laura2919]

Well i ended things with the twins dad and we tried again but in days we were arguing again and it just werent worth it! I thought whats the point we both knew it was the end and I just wanted him because I was scared to be on my own but I have been doing it for 10 weeks and Im still here and Im fine.. Im actually enjoying spending the time I have with my friends, family and espcially my children.

If he has an anger problem why would you want your child to grow up around that anyway hun?? everything happens for a reason and I know its not easy but your gonna have a gorgeous baby girl and you need stability..

I am waiting for my flat to be completed and then I am out in the world on my own just me and the twins! Mum and dad have helped me so much but it can be done..

Good luck huns

 

[Jem_x3]

Thankyou everyone it's so much easier when you know other people have felt exactly the same and have got through it. I feel stupid because I did try and chase him which just pushed him further and further and made him angrier at me but it's so hard to not contact him and try work things out and get him back and I guess one of the things that hurts the most is he doesn't even ask how me and bump are and he's never been really excited about it or happy and you see all these daddy's whos babies are their world and I wanted that too.. I've spent the majority of my pregnancy being up and down with him and upset alot of the time and I hate to think that I'll look back and that's all I'll remember

I do have quite alot of support my best friend is my rock and its so much easier when I'm away from home with her and having fun but it's the times I'm alone it gets too much it'd be nice to be able to switch my brain off once in a while lol. I know now it's his loss.. it makes me sad to think he's going to miss out on everything but it was his decision.

We'd split before in December of last year and when we got back together that was when things with my family went bad they really hate him and got angry at me for going back and I know that's because they care and love me but the relationship with me and my mum has gone down hill since I can't stay here because there's no room.. I share a room with my 9 year old sister and my mum can't afford it either. I've tried going to the council even with a letter from my mum saying she wants me out but they're so unhelpful in this borough I just don't know what else to try. Any suggestions welcome!

 

[BabyQ]

You are not pathetic!

You are a very strong woman who has just done an amazing thing on her own - gone through 30 weeks feeding and nurturing a healthy baby inside of you, he didn't do this, you did. When little one is born you can bring him/her up lovingly without an angry man standing by both your sides. One day when you are with the gentle, loving man you deserve you will look back and realise how easy it was bringing up your little bundle without him and how better off you now are

 

[scottishgal89]

im not sure what to suggest to be honest
but i wanted to reply to something else you said. your ex has made your pregnancy upsettin etc? try not to worry about that. i was upset about that while i was pregnant too.
but as soon as lo was here i forgot all of that because she was my priority and i was in awe of how i had given birth to such a perfect little person. watching her grow and learn new things is amazing. your going to have all of that too- i personally dont remember much of the pregnancy or birth. i have put all of that to the back of my mind and am focused on the future
you will be better off and you have so much to look forward to.
things will be tough for the next 10weeks, im not going to lie. but keep busy and try not to think about him, he doesnt deserve you

 

[congeniality]

im kinda in the same situation..going it alone!! when i found out i was pregnant the dad did a runner im now 32 weeks an 2 months ago found a gorgoeus man who was happy to be with me an take on bubba an we started planning a future how we'd be a happy family with us an his kids...things got complicated an we split up. hes now got bac in contact an says he wants to be with me. loves me an misses me but cant leave his kids again altho he wants to be here with me, he even wants me to tell him wen im in labour so he can try an be there.
i feel like my worlds fallen apart it all happened so quick with us an was so intense an now im in limbo waiting for him for to come bac to me like hes said hes goin to do but he jus doesnt no wen...it is hard an believe me im scared bout doing it on my own but u have to concentrate on that wonderful gift thats growing inside of u. dont get me wrong i want my little family back but every time i feel the bubba kick its like hes telling me everything is gonna be ok xxx

 

[Jem_x3]

It's just so hard to think how easy it is for him to not care and ignore me I just don't understand what went wrong. I think I'm fine but when I'm alone the tears start again :'( I know it'll get better in time I just wish I could fast forward.

Congeniality - that's lovely you've found a man who wants to be with you and your baby. I really hope everything turns out the way you want it to and if you need to rant then the ladies here are so lovely and know exactly what to say to make you feel better