3rd boy

[topazicatzbet]

Feeling a bit down today. Found out last night thatvwe are having our 3rd boy which will be out last.

I adore my 2 boys and will love this one just as much but I can't help but feel sad that i will never have a daughter.

All i wanted from being young was a little girl now i have to accept that it will never happen. I can't stop thinking of all the things I will never get to do with a daughter and worry that my boys will grow up and be useless at keeping in touch like my husband is with his mum.

I keep telling myself to get over it. Baby is healthy which is the main thing and i am so lucky to have conceived 3 times with no issues but I can't help but feel like I lost something.

I'm now dreading everyone's reaction and the pitty looks and responses.

 

[george83]

I have 3 boys and can completely relate. I don’t need to tell you how much I love my three boys and wouldn’t change them for the works but a part of me still cries for the little girl I’ll never have. It has got easier (my ds3 is now 2 1/2) but every time I hear of somebody else having their own girl it breaks my heart.

Other people’s comments are thoughtless and hurtful but try to remember most of the time they are just looking for something to say and if they knew how much it hurt they would never dream of saying them.

I know it seems hard now but just try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and the time you have trying to bond with your new little boy. Honestly my boys play so nicely together I can’t picture adding a girl to them now.

 

[WackyMumof2]

I went through this with my second pregnancy. I was stupid enough to listen to my MIL who claims to be physic that I went out and purchased a whole heap of pink baby clothes. Naturally, when I went into my 20 week scan, I argued with the radiologist and told her she was wrong about the sex of baby. I was that upset and hurt that I remained distant from him through most of my pregnancy - I didn't even want to pick a name for him. When I was pregnant with my 3rd son, I wanted a boy so I didn't have to deal with that again. MIL again tried to tell me he was a girl. Didn't listen. I wanted a girl but I knew he was a boy. Because I had gone in prepared for possible disappointment, I felt connected from the beginning. This time we HOPED for a girl. I had always said to hubby I would do a 4th and last pregnancy if our first 3 were boys. 12 weeks they thought girl and I was jumping even though I knew she couldn't be sure. 20 weeks, they thought boy because the cord was in the way. Again, I felt disappointment but not for me but for hubby because all he wanted was his little princess. I took him a while to get used to the idea but he's no less loved than his brothers nor will he be any less loved for not being a girl. We did briefly talk about possibly trying a 5th time but I'm just so sore and miserable this pregnancy we have decided no more biological babies for us. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn't want a girl because chances are she would turn out like hubby's sisters and they were HANDFULS growing up. If we decide to extend in the future then we want to adopt a little girl from China or India. It's hard to swallow sometimes but you will get there. As long as baby is healthy that's all that matters. But you also need to come to terms with what's been presented to you and find a way to let you accept it.

 

[Poppiebug]

I completely understand how you would be feeling, I also have 2 boys and hoping for a pink one this time around as it will be out last. As I've posted here many times, a happy healthy baby is all we can ask for, but I will definitely have that same disappointment should it be another boy and we'd get all those same sympathetic comments about it from others too. I am hanging to find out the gender, which hopefully we can do either with the testing from the Obs or in the 12 week scan.

I do have one small factor that I would be excited about, I have a name that I really love for a boy, DH isnt 100% on it though, but it could just be that thing that helps. I also like to prepare myself by getting into thinking about what I would do their nursery up as. I have a pretty fun idea for a boy too (Obvs have had my girl one picked forever!).

xx

 

[topazicatzbet]

Thanks. I'm feeling a bit better now. I would love just one more as there will be a 7 year age gap between this one and the eldest 2 who are only 19m apart but hubby doesn't want any more so I will have to keep working on him. And if it isn't meant to be I will just have to hope my sister has girls so I can at least be the cool auntie to girls.

 

[donnarobinson]

I have 3 I was disappointed when I found out number 3 was a boy but I love him so much. They fight like mad but love each other and are so lovely to each other Aswell.
I am sad I’ll never have a girl and apart of me wants to try again but I don’t want any more kids so I would be only trying so I could have a girl and it might be another boy which Ino I would love but my youngest has just gone two and I’m enjoying life more now and Finally things are getting easier so I defo feel done. I think I’ll akways long for a girl tho x

 

[AmandaBanana]

Im having my second boy. We are only having two.

I think the best way I've learned to explain it was mourning.
im mourning the loss of experiences ill never have. Any dreams or ideas about having a girl are gone. Ill never get to experience them.
its not sadness that this baby is a boy, but grief over lost experiences.

Almost like being told you can never go on a rollercoaster. You may have never rode on one, but suddenly its say that youre being told you cant ever have it..

Its been 5 weeks since i found out, and im still working through it. Some days are better than others. Ive learned to think about the new experiences i will now have that i wouldn't have otherwise. So i dont feel completely at loss.

I hope you can work through it too ♡

 

[cheerios]

Feeling a bit down today. Found out last night thatvwe are having our 3rd boy which will be out last.

I adore my 2 boys and will love this one just as much but I can't help but feel sad that i will never have a daughter.

All i wanted from being young was a little girl now i have to accept that it will never happen. I can't stop thinking of all the things I will never get to do with a daughter and worry that my boys will grow up and be useless at keeping in touch like my husband is with his mum.

I keep telling myself to get over it. Baby is healthy which is the main thing and i am so lucky to have conceived 3 times with no issues but I can't help but feel like I lost something.

I'm now dreading everyone's reaction and the pitty looks and responses.

I TotallY know how you feel!!! I have 3 boys. And I also had GD with my 3rd boy. I totally LOVE him to bits now though!!! He's like the easiest and sweetest boy out of my 3.

I'm pregnant now again!!! It was quite a surprise BFP. We weren't really planning cos I didn't want to plan for a girl!!! I didn't want to experience GD again!!! And honestly, I'm 99% expecting this baby to be a boy, which I would be fine about after mourning about loss experiences, because I'm 100% sure this will be my last pregnancy.

But like what you said, people's responses and pity looks is the WORST!!!! I hate it!!! Like really??!! You wanna pity me cos I have 3 boys??!!!! Do you not know there are more serious issues and problems that the world faces??? Argh!!!

Do any of you have any smart responses to pity responses from other people?