4 1/2 .. 5 year old behaviour

[Mrs Doddy]

I'm at my wits end. My daughter (who is at school) seems to be struggling with things that she can't explain

Her behaviour is disgusting , she's rude, sometimes violent to others and pets (only once) doesn't listen , screams and shouts

She's not spoilt ( well I don't think she is) she doesn't get treats all the time toys or food treats

She has been saying she doesn't want to do her ballet lessons and has now started saying she doesn't want to go to school - a few times she has been crying in after school club. I know when she is actually there she is fine, I have tried asking her what's wrong and she doesn't give me an answer, she doesn't want to go to school every day apparently

The worst behaviour is usually when she is tired and while I empathise she cannot behave like this- I am consistent with her and stop her from having treats / using my phone ect , sticker charts are a waste of time

She won't open up to me and I just don't know what to do , I'm dreading half term

Anyone else going through this ? Or any advice x

 

[MoonLove]

I didn't want to read and run, i have a nearly 4 year old who has struggled massively with expressing her emotions. I've felt so alone sometimes, i am sorry i don't have any advice, just wanted to send x

 

[Mrs Doddy]

Direct questions don't work - though I don't know how to word it so I get something out of her it's so hard I just don't know what to do

 

[RachA]

From experience with my two I'd say it's tiredness that's causing this rather than not wanting to communicate with you.

Starting school is a huge thing. They are dealing with new things and learning how to handle new things too.
My eldest was just over 4 when he started school and he was horrible for the whole if reception and the first term of year one. Then he started to be able to cope better and I found that it was just the last week of each half term when the tiredness hit him.
My youngest was 5 a month after starting and she's been better. She starts to flag the last week or two of each term and her behaviour is awful.
Holidays give us a chance to catch up on some much needed rest. I try to keep the holidays as relaxed as possible. I also take the pressure of too many after school things away.
It does get better

 

[Mrs Doddy]

Yes I'm sure a lot of it is tiredness but kicking the cat or screaming in my face is not acceptable, she goes on the naughty step but It has no effect

 

[alibaba24]

Have you spoken to her teachers to see if anything is going on at school? I sympathise with you my daughter can be challenging will scream before talking its so frustrating. have you tried being extra sweet to her telling her how you love her and would like to know why she screams etc? someones being extra extra nice can make them talk more. wish i had some more advice

 

[Mrs Doddy]

She is fine at school as far as we are all aware , I have been extra over the top nice today and she had two friends over tonight to keep her company she had a few meltdowns however her friends brought her round , she even read a book to me
It's very draining.

 

[Boomerslady]

Ben is hard work at the moment but then he always has been!! He's started crying and saying he doesn't want to go to school but they've told me everything's fine there. I think he's doing it purely to see if he can win, he lived a power struggle of any type!!!

I get get crazy kicking or anything but when I say no repeatedly etc I can see him getting do worked up and sometimes he goes to hit me (most times I spot it and move in time) but as you said nothing seems to work, sticker charts, punishment etc, he just needs to learn how to control his emotions properly and that he can't always get what he wants!!!

Sorry not much advice. He generally opens up and talks though when we're sat writing or reading without any distractions, he'll just come out with a random few things he does at school.