4 year old son bad behaviour in school!!

[Caelli86]

so our DS who is 4, 5 next week has been behaving very badly in school the past week or so. we have had letters home and my DH has been called into the school about our sons bad behaviour. He has spat at other children , flooded the school loos and just been naughty and not listening in general.He has had a red card every day this week so we have to go in for a meeting about it.

We are super embarrassed, as he's not naughty at home. At home he is a typical 4 year old boy. He's silly, hyper, and sometimes doesn't listen but generally he's pretty well behaved. We don't know why he's so naughty at school? Hopefully the meeting tomorrow will shred some more light on it.

We have sat him down and had talks with him about his behaviour and he insists he is being good, and is aware that some of the things he has done are naughty.He said he spat at a little boy because he was in his way and I asked why he didn't just say "excuse me" and he just said he forgot. He has good manners and is aware that is what he should have said. And about the flooding of the school toilet, he said he was trying to unblock it???

I am currently pregnant and he is fully aware that he will no longer be the youngest member in our family, and he will have to share his bedroom. He has been quite excited about it. People have been saying to me that maybe this is the reason why he is acting up in school but I'm not too sure. I have asked him about it and he says he is excited to be getting two baby brothers.

We just don't know what to dur DD is 9 years old and we've never had this problem with her, do I don't think it's our parting skills 😁

 

[Cattia]

Oh dear, that does sound stressful, poor you Is this something that's been going on since he started, or is it a more recent thing? My DS has just turned 4 and his behaviour before I had DD2 was really awful. He's a handful at the best of times and I certainly didn't think he was anxious about the baby arriving but there was a definite deterioration in his behaviour. Now baby is Herr things have actually settled down somewhat. The other thing to think about is could he be finding school difficult, and is playing up for that reason? Now they are getting to the end of reception year I guess the activities are getting a bit more structured and challenging. My DD is definitely struggling with the writing at the moment and it's making her unhappy about going into school some days.

 

[jd83]

I'm also curious if this is new behavior at school just this past week, or if he's been acting this way for a while at school. Aside from talking to him, are you handing out any consequences? I think that needs to happen. No matter how well behaved he is at home, and how much he tells you he understands that he shouldn't do those things at school, I don't think he's really going to get it unless something negative is associated with that type of behavior. Removing privileges. Removing a favorite toy for a set amount of time. Removing TV for a set amount of time. Just some examples. I was called a few times this year about my son, too, because he was not listening to the teacher and getting too out of hand. We discussed it as soon as I picked him up from school, about how he has to listen to the teacher just like he has to listen to mommy and daddy, and he can't disrupt the whole class from learning. And then he had TV and Ipad taken away for the night, and was told if I got called again for the same problem, it would be longer next time that they would be taken away. Those are pretty effective with him. You need to pick whichever is most effective with your son, so he knows you are serious about him changing that behavior.