4 year old won't sleep in own bed

[BellaBoo0512]

My DS turned 4 in April and although at bedtime he gets in his own bed and goes to sleep.. He wakes up during the night and comes and gets in bed with me and DH. This has been happening ever since we took the babygate off his bedroom door (because he mastered opening it)

It hasn't been much of a problem until recently. He is getting too big now and there isn't enough room in the bed. He always gets a good nights sleep but me and DH don't.

We have tried putting DS back in his own room each time he gets in our bed but he just ends up crying and comes back in our room continuously. I bought a led lamp to leave on all night in his room so it wasn't as dark but this hasn't worked either.

DS started primary school a couple of weeks ago and has since been getting vivid dreams which is waking him up. We decided to get an inflatable mattress to keep in our bedroom and have told DS that if he gets frightened he can get in there.. That way he is still in the same room as us but we all have our own space. I thought this was a great idea but DS won't get in there at night time.

Has anyone got any suggestions? I love my DS to pieces but me and DH need our bed back to ourselves!

 

[SarahBear]

Violet just started having her own room last January, two months after she turned 4 and is just now starting to sometimes "accidentally" sleep through the night without waking up and coming into our room. She'll be 5 in a couple months. When she does come into our room, we have a separate bed for her to sleep on. We've been through phases of having to remind her and move her onto her bed instead of ours. It's perfectly normal and temporary that your son won't sleep alone. Be patient and in time this too shall pass. What about one of you moving onto the inflatable mattress when he comes in? So much changes between 4 and 5. He'll probably be more ready to sleep independently at 5 if you just keep up how you are while also maintaining some sensitivity and understanding.

 

[BellaBoo0512]

The trouble with the inflatable matress is that it is a toddler one so I don't think it would hold mine or DH's weight. I really don't mind DS getting in bed with us, its just the fact that he is getting bigger now and insists on sleeping inbetween me and DH and he doesn't like sleeping with covers on so me and DH are constantly being disturbed. Me and DH are also TTC so would like DS to be in his own room by the time I'm pregnant. I'll wait it out a bit longer and hopefully he will start to sleep in his own room soon

 

[Zephram]

Have you tried rewards? Maybe a sticker for every night he stays in his own bed? I found my 4 year old is not motivated by a new toy, but rather getting to experience something fun that he loves, like going to the hydroslide at the big local pool. 10 stickers and he got to go and he absolutely smashed it - the behaviour we were trying to change was him picking at his fingernails, so a bit different, but it worked like a charm and he hasn't started picking his fingers again two months later.

You could find something he really gets excited about like that and try a sticker chart.

That said, it's normal behaviour for a four year old to want to get in bed with mum and dad when they have a bad dream. Mine still does too, but it's more like once a week, rather than every night.

 

[BellaBoo0512]

He has a sticker chart but it doesn't work I wouldn't mind if it was one or two nights a week but it is literally every night. He goes to bed at the same time every night and I read him a story in his own bed. Then he falls asleep in his own bed but then wakes up a few hours later and comes and gets in with us.

I suppose I can't blame him really.. I don't like being in bed alone and I'm 29 lol

 

[becsboo]

not very good advice but we just bought a superking size bed ,we get many kids in bed with us
they do grow out of it eventually lol

 

[BellaBoo0512]

That's not a bad idea becs!