6 Month old trowing tantrums!!?

[MollyNorwood]

Hi ladies, I have a daughter who is 6 months old today. For the last week she has started throwing tantrums when she can't get her own way by throwing her head back, arching her body and she will sort of yell while throwing her head from side to side. She even puts on crocodile tears! I thought this didn't happen until the terrible two's!?
What are your experiences with this? WHat should I do? Currently I tell her in a deep firm 'NO!' to stop her which does temporarily but I think she is a bit young to understand.

 

[staralfur]

She's only 6 months old so she doesn't have many choices as to how she can express herself. At that age they do start to understand things more and can get frustrated. It's totally normal and healthy and not a tantrum. She doesn't have the capacity to sit there and think about how screaming and crying is going to get her what she wants. It's just how she reacts to learning that she can't always get what she wants.

I'd refrain from simply just saying "NO" for a couple of reasons. The first being that you're right, she probably doesn't understand why you're just telling her 'no', and the second being that she's not really going to learn anything from it. Why don't you try explaining why she can't have something/has to do something. She won't understand that yet, either, but it'll set you on the right track. Telling her to stop expressing her frustration is just going to confuse her and set her up for not knowing how to express herself in the future.

 

[sheebee]

If I were you of try acknowledging her feeling, maybe something like 'I can see you're frustrated that you can't have ...x,y,z... It's OK to feel frustrated." I find this to be the best approach and a great habit to get into as parents, it really teaches about emotions and communication from a young age. Good luck!

 

[MollyNorwood]

WOW great advice ladies i never thought of it that way, this is why I love these boards! I will definitely explain it to her and re-assure her feeling frustrated is ok. Very good idea to start speaking to her this way so as she begins to understand she will eventually feel confident within herself which is something all loving parents want

 

[sheebee]

That's exactly the way to look at it (I think so anyway!).

Also, just to say how refreshing it is to see someone take on board a different way of doing things in sich a positive way. A lot of times suggestions given which are different to what people are already doing can cause some people to get defensive, but you didn't, which is really nice!

I am a huge believer in emotional development from a really young age and find that Janet Lansbury is great for offering practical solutions for how to approach all sorts of things (eg, enforcing respectful boundaries) with babies and children. I would really recommend looking at her website if it's something you're interest in!

 

[MindUtopia]

Just comfort her and try to understand what it is she's trying to communicate. What does she need from you that you aren't understanding? Crying is communication, because she can't speak, and the sort of thing you're describing is exactly what happens when babies don't feel like you're understanding what they need or they are in discomfort. It could be she's hungry/tired/thirsty/hot and trying to let you know that. So try to work out what it is and make sure you meet that need. Alternatively, as she's 6 months, it's also very likely it could be a sign of discomfort. Did you just start weaning? Have you started to add in new foods? Any chance she's teething? I would say all of that would be very typical of a baby in discomfort because of their digestion changing or because gums are sore. My daughter did exactly that at 6 months, but it's because she was in pain and not feeling well. So I would try to look at it in that way and work out what it is she's trying to say. It could be her way of telling you that she's extra thirsty in this heat, or that she has lots of wind from her last meal, or her teeth are bothering her. I wouldn't see it as a tantrum. 6 month olds don't have the ability yet cognitively to distinguish a need from a want. Just do whatever you need to do to comfort, soothe and distract her from whatever it is that's upsetting her.