9 months bf... struggling to get to a year

[Lizzybee]

Its getting painful. He doesn't always unlatch before spinning round to look at something(even when there's nothing there)
Biting, chewing, nipping. I'm sore most days.
I will get to a year because my sense of failure will kick in if not but I need to know how to wean from bf to cows milk.
Please don't make me feel bad for wanting to stop or that I should go til he's 2.

 

[sheldonsmommy]

I stopped around 8 months. You've done so great getting this far, don't beat yourself up if you decide it's better for both of you to stop

Until 1 year they should have either breastmilk or formula. You can just alternate one feed per day with a bottle, then after a couple days 2 feeds can be the bottle, and so on. I did this so I didn't get too engorged and end up with mastitis. You can try a sippy cup too, my son was not receptive to this until about 1 year.

 

[noon_child]

Oh ouch...How long has this been happening? Is it possible your supply could have dipped because of AF being due, or pregnancy?

After 1yr as long as LO is eating a good range of fat, protein and calcium rich foods (cheese, yoghurt etc.) they don't need cows milk, it's just an easy way to get these things in to them if your LO likes milk. If you want added vitamins you could use formula instead of cows milk. If LO won't drink any kind of milk after weaning from the breast you'll just have to make sure there is more milk mixed in to food, or cheese and yoghurt based foods.

I didn't change any bfs to bottles as I did continue to bf after 1yr but I did change some bf feeds to snacks as she was so distracted she was on and off all the time. I chose which ones she was already distracted for and made sure there were loads of distractions around - i.e out at a play centre or park and then just offered the snack (cheese square and some fruit) around the time she usually fed. She ate it and didn't miss the bf at all. I'm sure you can use the same technique for switching to formula bottles or cows milk after 1yr.

You may find that his feeding behaviour changes again over the next 3 months though and you might not want to switch. He'll probably drop a good couple of feeds between now and then too so you may not be as sore as you are now!

 

[Lizzybee]

I should clarify that he only has bf morning and night. His choice! This started when he started nursery and didn't want milk until he got home and then for the rest of the evening.morning he has milk and then eats solids. Lots of cheese, yoga, milk puddings etc as well as anything we are eating.
I feel guilty that I don't enjoy it like I used to. He is also relying on it to get to sleep at the moment which I know isn't good but its the way it is!

 

[noon_child]

He is also relying on it to get to sleep at the moment which I know isn't good but its the way it is!

He's only nine months old. Don't let impressions of what "ought" to be happening make you feel like your family situation is in some way wrong. Some (most) babies have a tough time learning how to be separate from their mothers and feeling comfortable enough to fall off to sleep without them. Using bf to fall asleep is normal and natural. You only need to change it if YOU need to change it - if it isn't working for you then you can start looking at alternatives - but honestly I'd say the majority of children rely on breasts or bottles to fall asleep at that age.

 

[Lizzybee]

He is also relying on it to get to sleep at the moment which I know isn't good but its the way it is!

He's only nine months old. Don't let impressions of what "ought" to be happening make you feel like your family situation is in some way wrong..... but honestly I'd say the majority of children rely on breasts or bottles to fall asleep at that age.

Really? Phew, thanks, no one had said this to me, only that they put their babies down awake "because there's nothing worse than a baby who needs its mum to get it to sleep".
Will he grow out of it or will I have to change this?

 

[Lizzybee]

Oh ouch...How long has this been happening? Is it possible your supply could have dipped because of AF being due, or pregnancy?!

Does supply really dip for AF?

 

[sheldonsmommy]

Oh ouch...How long has this been happening? Is it possible your supply could have dipped because of AF being due, or pregnancy?!

Does supply really dip for AF?

Mine definitely did!

 

[noon_child]

He is also relying on it to get to sleep at the moment which I know isn't good but its the way it is!

He's only nine months old. Don't let impressions of what "ought" to be happening make you feel like your family situation is in some way wrong..... but honestly I'd say the majority of children rely on breasts or bottles to fall asleep at that age.

Really? Phew, thanks, no one had said this to me, only that they put their babies down awake "because there's nothing worse than a baby who needs its mum to get it to sleep".
Will he grow out of it or will I have to change this?

Seriously?!? You have 18 years to teach them how to look after themselves, no rush unless you are unhappy with things as they are.

Yes it can be a good idea to start investigating how much he really needs the feed and how much is just habit, and introducing other things that might calm him (for my LO books at that age were overstimulating, but music and singing helped her feel sleepy and she wouldn't cuddle a toy till over 1yr old - each baby is different) but some babies will freak out at being put down too soon and it hardly helps them relax at bedtime to be hysterical.

Can you tell when he moves from drinking to comfort sucking? I started removing my nipple from LOs mouth when she was comforting and at first her eyes popped awake and she re-latched but after a while she let me do it and would fall asleep in my arms without the nipple. This was the beginning of a gentle journey towards falling asleep on her own in her own bed.

 

[Lizzybee]

I can tell when he is not drinking but he still has a firm latch on!! For us the bath is overstimulating but after a day of crawling, playing with the dogs and generally playing he is scruffy and needs one! He doesn't even need toys he just finds the water so much fun!
I will stop beating myself up over this and just go with the flow.
No one else in the house is prepared to do controlled crying or any other method of sleep trading so I'll do it my way, and I quite like the way you suggest noon_child.

 

[Kanichen34]

I'm still breastfeeding my LO at 15 months, and she also drinks 2-4 cups of cows milk a day without any bother. She went through a phase around 10/11 months of trying to take her friends bottles of formula (she's never had a bottle of anything) so I'd just had her a soft spout cup without handles of cows milk. This was maybe once a week. From 11 months she got one cup a day of cows milk and she drinks it happily. Now she gets it to replace some milk feeds when I'm at work and doesn't bat an eyelid. So it's very possible LO won't need to be weaned at all and will just take to it like my LO.

 

[Lizzybee]

Thanks Kanichen34. He has already sampled cows milk in a sippy cup because DH said he didn't know it wasn't allowed before 1 year.. He quite enjoyed it apparently!

 

[Kanichen34]

I work on the basis it's not allowed as their main nutrition - as long as he's still feeding from you a cup of cows milk as a drink won't do any harm!

 

[Lizzybee]

I work on the basis it's not allowed as their main nutrition - as long as he's still feeding from you a cup of cows milk as a drink won't do any harm!

DH will be pleased!! And I can rest easier now!!!