A letter from women to their friends and family

[pip7890]

Hi ladies

Some of you may have already seen the sentiments in the attached post but they are definitely worth a re-read: https://citril.rsg-blogs.co.uk/2011/02/07/letter-women-friends-family/

Thanks to my friend Citril for sharing.

Pip x

 

[Spoomie]

Thank you pip7890

I had not seen this before but found it deeply moving and posted on the blog in response:

Spoomie Says:
February 12th, 2011 at 11:24 pm
Thank you so much, this has put many of my feelings in to words and made me feel that it is ok that this is taking me a long time. I am bereft, the empty pain I feel is immense, and while this is not something I would ever have chosen, it is where I am now and I will return to real life on my timescale. Every day I ache for thinking of what my baby would’ve looked like, sounded like, enjoyed and achieved in his or her life, and for the sibling my son will not have. Just because I will never know these things doesn’t mean my baby never existed

 

[pip7890]

That is beautiful Spoomie.

Pip x

 

[Xpecta]

That is beautiful Spoomie.

Pip x

I agree! Really well put Spoomie!

Also, thank you so much Pip for posting that! Its going to come in handy. I'm going to send it to anyone that does those things to me, or that really doesn't know what to say or do.

 

[xSamanthax]

Thank you so much for posting this

 

[Starry Night]

Thank you for sharing the link. The blog is so beautiful and had me in tears (the good kind). The year-mark of my loss is coming up in a few months and I still want to share this link on my Facebook. People seem to think I'm over my loss because I'm pregnant again but I still cry over my first baby. The only other people who understand are those who have gone through it. So no, I'm not "over it" yet.

I'm so sorry that any of us have to have experienced this.

 

[Xpecta]

Thank you for sharing the link. The blog is so beautiful and had me in tears (the good kind). The year-mark of my loss is coming up in a few months and I still want to share this link on my Facebook. People seem to think I'm over my loss because I'm pregnant again but I still cry over my first baby. The only other people who understand are those who have gone through it. So no, I'm not "over it" yet.

I'm so sorry that any of us have to have experienced this.

Well said!

 

[HollieQ]

Perfect. Thank you so much for posting this xxxx

 

[lintu]

Thanx for this, I will be sending the link to my sister, after her two easy to get pregnant pregnancies and beautiful daughters she just doesn't get why my world is falling apart and why I'm not over it already

 

[babyhopes2010]

Thanku so much for sharing xxx it means alot x

 

[debzie]

Just read the Link Pip thankyou so much for sharing that. I have had all of those comments and more. What upsets me more now is when I talk about my last pregnancy and people shut up or look at me with that scared look in their eye. I am allowed to talk about when I was pregnant even though it did end in a miscarrage. x x x

 

[Starry Night]

Dezbie, I have a similar experience. I'm surrounded by other young moms and when they're swapping pregnancy stories I hated to be left out so I would share mine too. Yeah, mine had ended in miscarriage but I went through 12 weeks of morning sickness, big boobs, crazy dreams and random cravings. I even got that scared look whenever I said, "I hope that one of my children will have their father's curly hair" for example. I wasn't sharing any of this with the spirit of bitterness or jealousy either. I just wanted to be a part of the conversation and I was familiar with the entire First Trimester experience. It was a part of me and that baby will always be special. I still have pictures of me pregnant with that one on Facebook and I don't have the heart to take them down even if that tiny bump brings tears to my eyes.

Now that I'm pregnant again I still get that scared look when I mention the previous loss or the quick reminder that I'm pregnant again (no, really?). This child is not a replacement! I think people are afraid of seeing us be sad or bitter or express any other negative emotion.

 

[debzie]

congratulations starry night always gives me hope when I see those who have suffered loss expecting again. Why should miscarriage be such a taboo subject. It unfortunately happens to alot of women. Others make me laugh when I know they know but wait for me to mention it why? enough of my rant, glad someone else has experienced what I have. x x x