A newbie and her story here.....

[maj0079]

Just wanted to introduce myself and get a little support. I still don't know what to expect and all that great fun stuff.

I had been charting my temps so I knew I was pregnant before I got a BFP. I didn't tell anyone for a few weeks because I was less than two months from marrying my fiance and I guess I just didn't want that to take center stage over our wedding.

I did tell my mom and sister though. I went in for my first u/s at 9 weeks and was measuring at 5 w 2 d. The doc said it was either a very early pregnancy or it is a miscarry. I was to go back the next week for a f/u u/s to see if there was growth.

The weekend in between (just this past weekend) I went to Georgia for my sister's wedding (I live in SoCal). I miscarried that nite at dinner with all my relatives and my brother-in-laws family. It was the WORST experience ever. I couldn't grieve, I couldn't get mad, I couldn't do anything because only two people knew my mom and sister and they weren't going to say anything. They both knew what was going on. And so hard to have my grandma keep asking when we are going to have one.....

It was hard I had to pretend like nothing was wrong. I got home to my husband last nite and bawled so hard. I could finally let my guard down.

Today i have a follow up with my doc. They want to make sure everything passed. I am praying it did because I want to be done with Dr's at the moment. I am praying that my body makes a fast recovery and we can try again in two months. And I am praying that it doesn't happen again. I'm praying that it's not me and this was one that just couldn't develop and my body held onto it too long....

Anyways, that's my story. I needed to get it out. I don't know what to do now what to expect, how long I'll "bleed" for all that good stuff. This sucks.

 

[beaney]

Hi hun, welcome on here but what a shame you had to find it. You're right, what you've experienced does suck.

Your story sounds similar to mine, but mine was without the wedding. I also miscarried (in Feb) with my in-laws around me, none of whom (apart from hubby) knew I was pregnant. [My thread's on here elsewhere about current issues of my mum and my sister not knowing about the pregnancy, and now my sister is pregnant and I don't know how to tell my mum about the m/c now. Anyhow, enough about me.]

I totally understand your comments about hoping it was a one-off, Let's hope it is and it doesn't happen again. In the meantime, just concentrate on getting yourself physically and emotionally through this tough time. Take lots of rest, keep talking to your OH about how you feel, and when you're ready try to do some things you enjoy. Hopefully it'll help you having the support of everyone on here. Keep in touch and let us know how you go on.

xxx

 

[rachjim98]

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry for your loss and the way it all happened
you have come to the right place this forum is a great place to get answers and support. We have all been through a loss and are willing to help anyway we can.
Oh I just cant imagine you having to sit there like everything was OK when you were dying inside. You are a very strong woman to have made it through that! You need to take some time to get through what has happened and do what ever you need to do (scream, cry, rant or whatever it may be).
I am glad you have a support system in your DH, Mom, and Sister.

Again I am so sorry if you would like to talk we are here

 

[borntobeamum]

I am so sorry, to have to go through the loss is bad enough, but having to put on a brave face in front of everyone, must have been horrific.

we are all here any time you need to talk or offload.

Sending so much love an hugs at this time.

 

[roadrunner]

I am so sorry. One of the most difficult things in the world is to go through that and still look like everything is fine. I am so very sorry...

 

[xxCarolinexx]

What a sad story. I have been there myself, twice and it is not an easy thing to go through. I really feel for you right now! Make sure you get plenty of support and if you feel like you need to talk about it, make sure not to hold it in. Even if it means logging on here more often and getting stuff off your chest. It will help, a little

What I will say to you is to be optomistic!! Take your time to get over what's happened emotionally and physically. And when you feel ready, you can try again.
And there will be a light at the end of the tunnell. You will have a beautiful baby in your arms one day and when you do, you will appreciate and cherish your child more than imagineable as a result of what you've been through.

Stay strong and hang in there. Thinking of ya xx

 

[babytots]

hunni so sorry to see you posting here and for the loss of your baby. i bet it must of been so hard trying to put on a brave face for everyone. glad you are back home with your husband so you can both grief together.

fingers crossed that all goes well at doctors and in 2 months time you can start ttc again and get your much wanted baby. x

 

[maj0079]

Thanks everyone for the support! If I don't think about it, it's fine. When I do that's when the dam breaks. BUt I have to think about it and heal right? Otherwise I'll be carrying this baggage around! So for you all was it harder getting pregnant and having a m/c or those that had children then had a m/c? Things I think about, wondering if I would be hurting as much if I had a baby already or if it's just as hard. Course I won't cross that road as I m/c before I've even had a child. Anywho, just my thoughts.....

Thank you all again!

 

[rachjim98]

Hi there, to answer your question above.
I already have 2 children (both will be 10 & 7 next month) when I found out we were pregnant with our daughter Rebecca. I had never went through a MC, both my pregnancies were normal some issues towards the end with my 7 year old but went full-term with both.
At our 20 week ultrasound we found out Rebecca had no heartbeat, it was the worst day of my life (next to picking her up from the funeral home in a Urn).
I think it was so hard because I never seen it coming. I just thought because I had already had 2 healthy babies that nothing would go wrong. I was totally blindsided by it!
But on the other hand if it wasn't for my older children I honestly wouldn't have gotten out of bed and probably would have drowned in that black hole I was swimming in.
It was hard putting on a happy face for them and it took along time to smile for real and not pretend. I think I have rambled enough.
So sorry for your loss and I hope i have helped a little