Access? I want him to leave.

[daisy9]

I need advice regarding separating for my daughters father. He barely helps, contributes as little as possible with money, works when he feels like it and leaves us every weekend to go to the pub / play golf. I have had enough.

I’m really scared about access though – I still want him to be a big part of my baby’s life, however the idea of him taking her away all weekend kills me (and is the only reason we are currently still together). I fear if he did take her all weekend she would just be dumped at his parents’ house (who already look after her one day during the week).

He has never looked after her for a day, rarely baths her or puts her to bed, when he looks after her he mainly just sits her in front of the TV while he plays on the laptop. Therefore I wanted to suggest that he has her every Saturday (not overnight – this thought terrifies me) and comes round a couple of evenings a week to visit her – so she still sees him plenty and it isn’t too big a change for her.

To be honest, having her a full weekend wouldn’t suit him at all – but I think he may push for this purely to spite me – then take her to his parents.

Where do I stand with this? Would a mediator / court take into consideration his lack of responsibility so far? Do they look at character rather than just give a standard every other weekend – all weekend access?

Thanks

 

[weebubba]

The best advice I can offer is to speak to a lawyer. All cases are different so what applies to one may not apply to another. It should be free to gain advice but may cost if you ask a lawyer to act on your behalf.

I would also add that you should do what's best for you and LO and not be manipulated by others. Good luck.

 

[Mummy1995]

I think what you've offered is very reasonable given the circumstances obviously not a lawyer though! But you'd only need to worry about that should he take you to court anyway. So I'd do the split and see how he feels about what you're offering. From what you've said he wouldn't want her for long periods of time anyway x

 

[Dezireey]

I am not sure about your circumstances but one of my friends FOB did this. He wanted weekend access but just dumped the child at his parents. he got taken back to court and was reprimanded. The judge was pissed off and said access for him meant time spent with his kid, otherwise whats the point? You are just getting access for the grandparents, and they dont have joint custody rights with the Mother, he does.

Have a chat with a Lawyer and get stuff down in writing.