This is the birth story of my second daughter Freya.
Let me start by saying my first labour with my daughter Alva was pretty fast for a newbie, only 6 hours from the first contraction to delivering. I got to the birth centre with enough time for an hour of gas and air before delivering. I was advised for baby number 2 that a home birth would be wise.
My mother, who was to be my birth partner/babysitter for my other daughter, wasn't too keen on the idea as she likes hospitals. However the midwives assured me it would be a safe option, as I had a low risk pregnancy.
I became a single mum at about 5 weeks in to my pregnancy, hence my my mother pulling double duty as birth partner and baby sitter.
One thing I loved about having a planned homebirth in London was no more having to drag myself to clinics or hospitals for appointments as the midwives came to your house. My due date was 8/8/2012, at my last few appointments baby's head was soo low down I knew she'd come soon, but the midwife said you won't be overdue but maybe she'll come on your due date.
1st August 2012, yay 7 days to go, I posted on facebook, boy was I wrong.
I planned to have my hair done at a friend's home. My regular hairdresser was away and not back until the 6/08/12, I thought that was too close to my due date and was super grateful when my friend's cousin said she'd do my hair. My 20 month old daughter Alva and I arrived at my friend's house around noon. I got my hair done first as my friend wasn't ready yet. Around 16.45, I was sitting on the sofa, watching Deal Or No Deal, falling sleeping when I thought, "did I just pee myself". I went to the bathroom sat down and gush, OMG my water broke. It was about 5pm. I raced inside to tell my friend and her cousin, we all freaked out. In a mad panic, I remember her cousin trying to finish my hair and me crossing my legs trying to hold everything in. After 2 minutes I just said don't worry I need to go home. My friend said she'd keep my daughter for me over night (love her for that). I jumped in a cab and starting making calls on the way home, I got a lot of answer machines, damn it. My mum was at work, I called a couple of times but my sister was the one who finally reached her. I must add I wasn't feeling any contractions at this point. I got home and started cleaning like a mad woman.
In between cleaning I called the midwives, damn it, another answering machining, I left a message and waited for them to call me back. My waters still trickling down with the occasional gush, no blood and no contractions.
Turns out I called the wrong number, Tracey the midwife heard my message by chance. I thought the other number on my maternity notes was only for women who were having contractions; oops that explains why Tracey didn't call back until 7pm ish.
The midwife said sit tight and call them back when labour got under way. Tracey said it will probably get going later that night and I felt a little dishearten, as I was all excited thinking this is it and now nothing, poo bags. My mum raced from work to my house, as I still had no pain, feeling a bit fed up I said it'd be fine for her to pop home for a change of clothes etc, as she only lives 15 minutes by car. I finished cleaning the house. I mopped, vacuumed, dusted, wiped mirrors, everything but still nothing. So I ran a bath, planned a meal and still nothing, no contractions.
Everyone but the Pope called me to see if anything was happening, sister, mum, friend and I heard later my cousins and aunts were talking about it on Blackberry messenger. Anyway, I finally decided to get in the bath, I was putting it off as water was my pitocin in my first labour. It jump started everything, but this time nothing. I was lying in the water for about 10 minutes thinking, I'm gonna get something to eat and then have a sleep, when ouch ouch tight tight tummy, oh my, contractions. I waited for it to pass and jumped up out of the bath. I don't remember but I must have grab the house phone, my mobile and put my top on at lightning speed because the next contraction came quick. I had all these items with me at the end but don't remember grabbing them.
I was standing at my drawers mooing like a cow , rocking. I read somewhere this is better than screaming and yelling. Time on the clock 20.18, mooing through the contraction and it's gone, oh wait contraction again, time on the clock 20.20, what the hell. I change positions, I grab a huge square pillow and throw it on the floor, I drape a navy blue towel over the pillow and knee on it. My bed is low enough to the ground that I can lean on it if needed. I call my mum from this position and tell her to come quick and bring the extra door keys so I wouldn't have to go downstairs to open the door or leave it on the latch. Pain still going, I paged the midwives, I remember the guy on the page asking me all these details which I just found annoying, mooing and trying to give my name and address etc.
The pain picked up so fast. Tracey the midwife called back, our conversation was brief and she said if I get the urge to push call 999. Minutes later I did just that, I didn’t have the urge to push but I panicked I think that was my mini transition.
The 1st operator answered and I yelled, I’m having a baby, I’m having a baby, down the phone.
O.K. I’ll put you through to the ambulance crew the guy says.
I was in intense pain by now, no more mooing, it was time to yell. The operator was a man,
I know it hurts but I need your details he said.
We sped through the necessaries.
I’m on my own, my mum’s coming, but she’s not here yet, I tell him
O.K Melissa the ambulance crew will be with you soon, can you feel the baby’s head?
Crap, I think. I put my hand inside my vjay and low and behold I can feel the head, it is not crowning but it’s there.
Yes, I say panicking
O.K when it comes out you’ll need to pant.
Silence, I’m breathing through the pain, he is saying something but the words are not registering. Then I hear loud knocking at my front door, the operator announces the paramedics are outside and can I open the door? Is he kidding, I’m on all fours with an emerging head coming through my vjay and he wants me to walk downstairs open the door and walk back upstairs, in between back to back contractions.
I remember back to my maternity notes on the section for fast labours, a very rare occurrence, it said, I remember the words please put the door on the latch, too late. My thoughts are broken by the operator
Melissa if you can’t open the door they’ll have to kick it in.
Just get in here, I remember saying this was followed by a scream. I’m crying now, someone need to be here to catch her I’m thinking.
“Melissa” Now the voice is female I assume it is the midwife,
Open the door.
They have no idea there are stairs behind my front door, it’s an old converted flat. All this seemed like hours at the time but it was minutes and seconds. I feel the pressure, oh god this is it, I bear down on my pillow, put my teeth together, growl and push. I release a yell at the end, the phone is on the bed, I can no longer hear the operator, I hear the knocking at the door in the background, it sounds like they’re in stereo. Pressure again, I do the same.
After the pain I remember saying out loud to myself, you can do this just push. As the next pain comes I feel her head pressure on my vaginal lips, I almost want to hold back from pushing because of fear, I don’t. I put my hand there and notice the lips are super tight around her head. Oh god, I’m thinking, I’m gonna tear. I don’t push I let her slide down a little, holding her head and gently pushing my vaginal lips out the way. I touch my perennial area and hold it, it feels super stretched, I assume it’s torn and put a finger there to prevent more damage. I had no idea if this would work but did it anyway.I’m still on all fours knee on a pillow hands on the edge of my bed. Big pressure, big push, panting, panting woo woo. It didn’t burn the ring of fire like it did the first time but the head is out. I said it out loud, there’s no one in the room so not sure why I did. I breathe a few deep breaths, check for the cord I think, I do and it’s just her head, I’m relieved. I push just enough for the shoulders to pop out, I’m seating there for about a minutes, with her head and shoulders in my hands. O.K one big push and it’s over, just PUSH, I think. Contraction comes, I’m pushing with everything I have growling, holding her tight so not to drop her, she’s slippery, her body turns in my hands as she comes out. Belly, cord, feet, baby is here. She’s crying immediately. We’re low to the ground as I’m still on the pillow, I place her vernix covered body down crying.
Oh god how am I going to open the door, as I’m having this thought the paramedics and Tracey the midwife come racing in the room. I’m in shock on my bedroom floor with my baby, Tracey ducked down next to me and says
Congratulations Melissa you did it.
The paramedics take my phone and talk to the operator. Tracey explains they broke my door to get in as once they heard baby crying they had to get in and make sure everything was O.K .They take my keys to check the damage on my door, it’s nothing my DIY dad couldn’t fix. Tracey helps me on to the bed and checks me over.
Melissa you only have a 1st degree tear, it’s not even bleeding you don’t need stitches, you’re amazing. The second midwifes running in and starts taking notes.
I was amazed, I explained to her what I did, and she called it survival mode. We waited for the cord to stop pulsating and she said would I like to cut the cord as I did everything else alone? I do, I’m surprised how thick it is.
My mum and dad come running in,
Melissa, my mum says oh my god she’s here already, I’m so sorry you was alone.
I heard later that all my neighbours were outside because the two big ambulances had parked in the middle of the road and all my neighbours could hear me screaming, how embarrassing.
Baby Freya, was 7lb 2oz and perfect, no need to transfer to the hospital no excess bleeding, no concerns about baby. She breastfed and went to sleep. Afterwards it was soo calm, the midwives stayed about 3 hours to make sure everything was o.k. I remember checking the clock to time contractions at 20.18 and at 21.00 I was texting the dad a photo to say she was here. The operator noted the first cry at 20.56, that was damn fast. If I ever have another baby I’m booking in at a hospital at 37 weeks, just let them try and stop me. Everyone kept telling me I was a hero but it took a long time for me to write this story or to even think about my second labour. Everytime I did I was back there on the floor in pain and scared, sure the end was great but it was scary. What got me through it was knowing I could do it and believing in myself. I blocked out the world for those minutes and just did it and I’m so glad I did.
It was one of the most amazing and terrifying experience of my life
Let me start by saying my first labour with my daughter Alva was pretty fast for a newbie, only 6 hours from the first contraction to delivering. I got to the birth centre with enough time for an hour of gas and air before delivering. I was advised for baby number 2 that a home birth would be wise.
My mother, who was to be my birth partner/babysitter for my other daughter, wasn't too keen on the idea as she likes hospitals. However the midwives assured me it would be a safe option, as I had a low risk pregnancy.
I became a single mum at about 5 weeks in to my pregnancy, hence my my mother pulling double duty as birth partner and baby sitter.
One thing I loved about having a planned homebirth in London was no more having to drag myself to clinics or hospitals for appointments as the midwives came to your house. My due date was 8/8/2012, at my last few appointments baby's head was soo low down I knew she'd come soon, but the midwife said you won't be overdue but maybe she'll come on your due date.
1st August 2012, yay 7 days to go, I posted on facebook, boy was I wrong.
I planned to have my hair done at a friend's home. My regular hairdresser was away and not back until the 6/08/12, I thought that was too close to my due date and was super grateful when my friend's cousin said she'd do my hair. My 20 month old daughter Alva and I arrived at my friend's house around noon. I got my hair done first as my friend wasn't ready yet. Around 16.45, I was sitting on the sofa, watching Deal Or No Deal, falling sleeping when I thought, "did I just pee myself". I went to the bathroom sat down and gush, OMG my water broke. It was about 5pm. I raced inside to tell my friend and her cousin, we all freaked out. In a mad panic, I remember her cousin trying to finish my hair and me crossing my legs trying to hold everything in. After 2 minutes I just said don't worry I need to go home. My friend said she'd keep my daughter for me over night (love her for that). I jumped in a cab and starting making calls on the way home, I got a lot of answer machines, damn it. My mum was at work, I called a couple of times but my sister was the one who finally reached her. I must add I wasn't feeling any contractions at this point. I got home and started cleaning like a mad woman.
In between cleaning I called the midwives, damn it, another answering machining, I left a message and waited for them to call me back. My waters still trickling down with the occasional gush, no blood and no contractions.
Turns out I called the wrong number, Tracey the midwife heard my message by chance. I thought the other number on my maternity notes was only for women who were having contractions; oops that explains why Tracey didn't call back until 7pm ish.
The midwife said sit tight and call them back when labour got under way. Tracey said it will probably get going later that night and I felt a little dishearten, as I was all excited thinking this is it and now nothing, poo bags. My mum raced from work to my house, as I still had no pain, feeling a bit fed up I said it'd be fine for her to pop home for a change of clothes etc, as she only lives 15 minutes by car. I finished cleaning the house. I mopped, vacuumed, dusted, wiped mirrors, everything but still nothing. So I ran a bath, planned a meal and still nothing, no contractions.
Everyone but the Pope called me to see if anything was happening, sister, mum, friend and I heard later my cousins and aunts were talking about it on Blackberry messenger. Anyway, I finally decided to get in the bath, I was putting it off as water was my pitocin in my first labour. It jump started everything, but this time nothing. I was lying in the water for about 10 minutes thinking, I'm gonna get something to eat and then have a sleep, when ouch ouch tight tight tummy, oh my, contractions. I waited for it to pass and jumped up out of the bath. I don't remember but I must have grab the house phone, my mobile and put my top on at lightning speed because the next contraction came quick. I had all these items with me at the end but don't remember grabbing them.
I was standing at my drawers mooing like a cow , rocking. I read somewhere this is better than screaming and yelling. Time on the clock 20.18, mooing through the contraction and it's gone, oh wait contraction again, time on the clock 20.20, what the hell. I change positions, I grab a huge square pillow and throw it on the floor, I drape a navy blue towel over the pillow and knee on it. My bed is low enough to the ground that I can lean on it if needed. I call my mum from this position and tell her to come quick and bring the extra door keys so I wouldn't have to go downstairs to open the door or leave it on the latch. Pain still going, I paged the midwives, I remember the guy on the page asking me all these details which I just found annoying, mooing and trying to give my name and address etc.
The pain picked up so fast. Tracey the midwife called back, our conversation was brief and she said if I get the urge to push call 999. Minutes later I did just that, I didn’t have the urge to push but I panicked I think that was my mini transition.
The 1st operator answered and I yelled, I’m having a baby, I’m having a baby, down the phone.
O.K. I’ll put you through to the ambulance crew the guy says.
I was in intense pain by now, no more mooing, it was time to yell. The operator was a man,
I know it hurts but I need your details he said.
We sped through the necessaries.
I’m on my own, my mum’s coming, but she’s not here yet, I tell him
O.K Melissa the ambulance crew will be with you soon, can you feel the baby’s head?
Crap, I think. I put my hand inside my vjay and low and behold I can feel the head, it is not crowning but it’s there.
Yes, I say panicking
O.K when it comes out you’ll need to pant.
Silence, I’m breathing through the pain, he is saying something but the words are not registering. Then I hear loud knocking at my front door, the operator announces the paramedics are outside and can I open the door? Is he kidding, I’m on all fours with an emerging head coming through my vjay and he wants me to walk downstairs open the door and walk back upstairs, in between back to back contractions.
I remember back to my maternity notes on the section for fast labours, a very rare occurrence, it said, I remember the words please put the door on the latch, too late. My thoughts are broken by the operator
Melissa if you can’t open the door they’ll have to kick it in.
Just get in here, I remember saying this was followed by a scream. I’m crying now, someone need to be here to catch her I’m thinking.
“Melissa” Now the voice is female I assume it is the midwife,
Open the door.
They have no idea there are stairs behind my front door, it’s an old converted flat. All this seemed like hours at the time but it was minutes and seconds. I feel the pressure, oh god this is it, I bear down on my pillow, put my teeth together, growl and push. I release a yell at the end, the phone is on the bed, I can no longer hear the operator, I hear the knocking at the door in the background, it sounds like they’re in stereo. Pressure again, I do the same.
After the pain I remember saying out loud to myself, you can do this just push. As the next pain comes I feel her head pressure on my vaginal lips, I almost want to hold back from pushing because of fear, I don’t. I put my hand there and notice the lips are super tight around her head. Oh god, I’m thinking, I’m gonna tear. I don’t push I let her slide down a little, holding her head and gently pushing my vaginal lips out the way. I touch my perennial area and hold it, it feels super stretched, I assume it’s torn and put a finger there to prevent more damage. I had no idea if this would work but did it anyway.I’m still on all fours knee on a pillow hands on the edge of my bed. Big pressure, big push, panting, panting woo woo. It didn’t burn the ring of fire like it did the first time but the head is out. I said it out loud, there’s no one in the room so not sure why I did. I breathe a few deep breaths, check for the cord I think, I do and it’s just her head, I’m relieved. I push just enough for the shoulders to pop out, I’m seating there for about a minutes, with her head and shoulders in my hands. O.K one big push and it’s over, just PUSH, I think. Contraction comes, I’m pushing with everything I have growling, holding her tight so not to drop her, she’s slippery, her body turns in my hands as she comes out. Belly, cord, feet, baby is here. She’s crying immediately. We’re low to the ground as I’m still on the pillow, I place her vernix covered body down crying.
Oh god how am I going to open the door, as I’m having this thought the paramedics and Tracey the midwife come racing in the room. I’m in shock on my bedroom floor with my baby, Tracey ducked down next to me and says
Congratulations Melissa you did it.
The paramedics take my phone and talk to the operator. Tracey explains they broke my door to get in as once they heard baby crying they had to get in and make sure everything was O.K .They take my keys to check the damage on my door, it’s nothing my DIY dad couldn’t fix. Tracey helps me on to the bed and checks me over.
Melissa you only have a 1st degree tear, it’s not even bleeding you don’t need stitches, you’re amazing. The second midwifes running in and starts taking notes.
I was amazed, I explained to her what I did, and she called it survival mode. We waited for the cord to stop pulsating and she said would I like to cut the cord as I did everything else alone? I do, I’m surprised how thick it is.
My mum and dad come running in,
Melissa, my mum says oh my god she’s here already, I’m so sorry you was alone.
I heard later that all my neighbours were outside because the two big ambulances had parked in the middle of the road and all my neighbours could hear me screaming, how embarrassing.
Baby Freya, was 7lb 2oz and perfect, no need to transfer to the hospital no excess bleeding, no concerns about baby. She breastfed and went to sleep. Afterwards it was soo calm, the midwives stayed about 3 hours to make sure everything was o.k. I remember checking the clock to time contractions at 20.18 and at 21.00 I was texting the dad a photo to say she was here. The operator noted the first cry at 20.56, that was damn fast. If I ever have another baby I’m booking in at a hospital at 37 weeks, just let them try and stop me. Everyone kept telling me I was a hero but it took a long time for me to write this story or to even think about my second labour. Everytime I did I was back there on the floor in pain and scared, sure the end was great but it was scary. What got me through it was knowing I could do it and believing in myself. I blocked out the world for those minutes and just did it and I’m so glad I did.
It was one of the most amazing and terrifying experience of my life
x
huge congratulations x
