Advice for dad to be?

[MrUk]

Can anyone give me a clue to my role, ive already stepped up the cleaning and cooking duties which oh is holding the vomit back!!
Back and foot rubs are also in full flow!

Im just not sure what else i can be doing? We have our first midwife visit on sunday coming up, what kinda questions should i ask? I literally cant think of anything!
All i want to ask is when she hits into labour do i call 111 and then call her to get to the hospital?

 

[hayz_baby]

Just keep up what your doing and don't panic!!! If u haven't got any qs for the mw then dw you will get a chance too!
And no u don't need to ring 111.. U wait till her contractions are regular and she is in established labour and then ring labour ward to tell them you are coming. Dw too much about that for now as ur me will invite u to antenatal classes which will cover all of that anyway! (U won't usually have these classes till later on in pregnancy)

 

[cait]

The midwife should give you a list of phone numbers of who to call in case of emergency or when labour starts. If she doesn't then make sure and ask"!
I would definitely advise going to the antenatal classes later on as my husband found them really useful.

When it comes to the labour, it is usually advised that you and your partner stay at home as long for as she can cope (unless waters break - then you have to go straight to hospital). Your partner will probably be more comfortable at home, and labour can be very long so don't panic at the first sign!
You can keep in touch with labour ward via phone as things progress and they will advise you.

In the meantime, keep up the good work - be patient when your partner is feeling ill or irritable. Enjoy all the milestones (hearing heartbeat, first kick etc.). Pregnancy is a lovely time!

 

[PugLuvAh]

You're already doing a great job! Honestly, all I really need my husband to do is be supportive and understanding through the highs and lows of pregnancy.

For labour, ask what kind of support she would like from you, don't make assumptions based on what you've seen in tv's and movies. I would HATE if my husband was cheering me on, stroking my hair and telling me to breathe, but thats exactly what some other women want. Everyone is different, and it sounds like you're already being a really supportive partner

Congratulations daddy-to-be!

 

[LiLi2]

Aww, aren't you sweet! Sounds like you're doing a great job. The #1 biggest thing for me is that my husband is understanding when I'm feeling run down, not well, or just plain tired and he picks up the slack, whether that's taking over the dishes or fixing something for dinner. Let me just tell you, pregnancy is EXHAUSTING. She is growing another human being and that is extremely taxing on the body, so when she says "I'm tired"... that's your cue. Tell her to go lay down for a bit and you'll handle XYZ. She may fight it at first and tell you she's fine, just let her know that it's ok to just relax. You're doing great, dad!

 

[Starry Night]

Sounds like you're doing a good job! I love it when my dh helps around the house or gives me foot rubs. I also find it helps that he is OK when things are a bit messier than usual or meals are simple (stuff that can simply be heated). For labour, I liked being able to talk and joke with him to keep my mind off of things. I panic easily so it's nice having someone to keep me grounded and to stay positive.

Also, when the baby gets here, don't refer to watching the baby as "babysitting". You're a parent too. Watching the baby is part of the job.

 

[MrUk]

Thank you all for the nice comments, I can see the changes in my oh already, 8 weeks in and shes just totally exhausted, not to mention the constant sicky yucky feeling, which seems to get worse as the progresses.
Im constantly on at her to "graze" as she calls it, eating small and often, stubborn to start with but i think shes finally seeing this as a better option than eating huge meals.

Im trying my best and totally understand that its gonna be a difficult time these next few weeks and months. Some of our flatmates take my oh for granted (shes a chef by trade) and they expect her to do all the cooking at home.... But now they have to eat all the nonsense i cook haha
Off topic slightly...

 

[petite ping]

I would read up on how to ease leg cramps. I had loads during the 2nd Trim. and my OH was totally useless while I was shrieking away in pain. Apparently he has never had cramp before...

I would also get ready to reassure your OH during weepy moments - if it's your first child (or even your second) she may (as you may) have moments when she is scared. So hugs all round and lots of tissues.

For the MW visit, you can ask about the examinations she is doing? What other examinations are necessary. What you should do if there are complications? What can she eat? What should she avoid doing?

My OH only came for the scans and he grilled the sonographist about every thing.

As for labour... my OH peed me off big time with "breathe breathe". I almost hit him. The only thing I would say would be go to the prenatal classes so you as a father to be would know what to expect during and after birth.

 

[Shandelion]

Awesome job! My husband is much the same, and I can tell you the number one thing he tends to forget is not to squash me. If you guys are very tactile and cuddly, remember she'll have a harder time with pressure anywhere as time goes on. The joints hurt and can't take pressure in the third tri. The stomach can't take pressure virtually immediately, and it gets worse as time goes on. Even shoulder and chest pressure can be too much, pretty early in the second tri. Too much pressure can even come in the form of side to side cuddling. So just pay close attention there

 

[Mrs Doddy]

ah that's nice of you, it must be hard for you as there is only so much you can do ! helping with the house is a huge help and will be more so in the later stages when your oh cant do it, the shopping any lifting, attending appointments are all good supportive things.

When she goes into labour call the hospital and they will talk you through whether to go in or not

good luck x

 

[StarlitHome]

Take a birth/prenatal class together! Seriously, it was SO empowering for my husband. Before the class, he was at his wit's end (although doing a great job flying by the seat of his pants) and scared of the birth process.
After the class, he was armed with knowledge and information and felt prepared - and he was fantastic labor support