Advice for getting over a bad labor experience?

[Rezcall]

I'm on my fourth pregnancy and due very soon. My first two children were fast deliveries (both with in 3 hours) with all frontal contractions. When my third son was due I came to the hospital with all back contractions. They felt because my deliveries are fast I did not require any pain killers. Well it was three hours of heck. I have never been in so much pain ever. I tore bad too when my son came out because I pushed so hard to get it over with. I could barely walk for two days after! My back was a mess - had a small fracture due to the back contractions.

Now after that I am scared to death of my next delivery and am in fear. I am traumatized. Ever time my husband talks about our daughter coming I'm crying. Any advice on how to cope with my next delivery and get over my last bad experience?

 

[lynnikins]

well the reason for the back contractions last time was most probably down to the posistioning of your baby and the placenta. there are lots of resorces out there to make sure your baby is in optimum position for delivery and having active and upright births will help reduce the chace of tearing as your pelvis will be able to open up fully.

Ive either had an episiotomy or torn with all my children so far but staying calm and letting your body push rather than putting tons of effort into it can help reduce that, Also waterbirths help reduce the chaces of tearing. I would get a copy of your notes and request a debrief with your doctor/mw about your last birth experience it will help you face and deal with your fears and worries

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I know sort of know how you feel. I had a bad experience last time and I'm terrified about having another baby, when the time comes.

If it is actually affecting your mental health to an unmanagebale level maybe you could talk to your doctor or midwife about it? You could have counselling to help you think it through and feel more relaxed. Also, is there not any alterations they can make to your birth plan to help? Like, induction so you're already in the hospital and an early on epidural? I'd talk to your midwife about options xx

 

[aliss]

My best advice is to not try and get over it (it has happened, it's a part of you and your life) but to arm yourself with the best chance for next time. My first was the traumatic one, the second was wonderful. You have two others to prove that you can have a wonderful experience. Back labour (I had this with #2) I'm sure is quite shocking after normal labour twice before. You CAN do this... you've proven it before. I can also say that after one traumatic experience, it makes it far easier (mentally) to cope with it in the rare chance it happens again - it won't shock you, you will go in bracing.

 

[stayinhappy]

Rezcall...there is name for what you are currently experiencing...you are dealing with the effects of a "Traumatic Delivery". I would recommend you perhaps talk to someone about this...as the closer you get to your due date, usually the higher the fears become and they can be equally traumatic for you. Also, it may help to write your fears down into your birth plan, so people attending your birth know your wishes at a time when you cannot communicate them. Sometimes talking to a counsellor may help women get over such a traumatic birth experience. It may also be helpful to be open and honest about the feelings you have, so perhaps you and your husband will be better prepared for this birth. Also, just remember what one mummy finds traumatic another may not...so dont listen to what your friends are saying. Wishing you best of luck with this next baby!