Advice for my Sister Please

[reiller]

Hi Ladies,


Im just popping over from Third Tri to ask a question.
Is it possible for my 7 year old nephew/godchild to pick up an attitude from his mother?


She is my sister and she is recently divorced with the 7 YO and a girl who is 4...She works part time but relies heavily on my parent to support her children. Although she owns her own house my mother will mind her LO 5 days a week... and the 7YO after school also.

She claims to hvae no money but als have money to go out and buy ciggies.

There is a fairly bud age gap between us im 22 and she's 30 I also know she was severely spoilt before I came on the scene she is attending couselling because she also has depressions


anyhu...

She is becoming increasingly irritating never says thanks for the old pair for minding them, doesnt pay them. they brought kiddies to disney land and the day they brought them home texted them that afternoon looking for them to babysit so she could go out.. She pays WAY more attention to the 3 year old than the 7 YO.


Is there anything I can do to get her to be a more positve role model on the 7 YO. He has become sullen and rude very bold and constanly lying and he was NEVER like this before Is he getting this from her because he can see how much she gets away with from her own parents? She thinks he is still a babay but 7 YO's pick up a lot than you'd think.

IM also due my babay in December and worried how the inital thrill of a new grandchild will affect her stability while they fawn over my child for a little while.

 

[Laura2919]

My sister is terrible for relying on my mum and dad to have my niece, so much so that once I told my mum to adopt my niece because she would be better off. My sister spends no time with her daughter at all and its so frustrating because not only does it affect my niece it affects my mum and dad because they have her all the time and to be honest it pees me off because when I want them to have the twins I feel guilty because they must be so knackered. Once I mentioned this to my sister and she said Ahh well you have OH's mum and dad.. Errr?? Yeah but I would like MY mum and dad to have them from time to time too you know..
I do think its possible that they can pick up an attitude! My niece is soooo rude.. She doesnt care what she says, she cant share a thing, she always says its mine its mine, and her performance at school is poor.. She was forever on a red or yellow card for a while... Its sad because I dont really have much time to do things with my niece but I really want to but I dont like taking her out because she has a terrible attitude and never listens.

 

[leeanne]

Actually, tbh, I think it's a 7 year old boy thing! Yes, they do learn from parents but for the most part, 7 year old boys do have an attitude. Mine does!

But I will also say this. My 7 year old is a middle child. His almost 9 year old sister used to play with him all the time and for the past 2 years she's done nothing but yell at him and talk rudely to him. I have a 2 year old who takes up a lot of my time and attention too. So I truly think he has the middle child syndrome.

As for your 7 year old nephew, he could very well be feeling left out and that's why he's acting up. Although the attitude is normal, he could be doing it to get attention too.

 

[proud_mum]

Hiya, I partly agree with what Leanne said, he sounds like a normal 7 yr old. My son is 6 but has an attitude at times. I do also think that childrens behaviour can be affected if certain issues are upsetting them like the feeling of being left out. I actually went through a phase myself as a child, I felt sad almost as if was depressed because I felt I was being left out
As for how much your parents do for her, i'm sure it must be very frustrating for you because I'm in same position myself. My mum and Dad pick up and look after my sisters son all the time, my mum and dad hardly ever get a thanks and to be honest my sister can be a bitch with my dad. I hardly see my mum and dad now because they're tied to picking up my nephew, so when I have a day off and try and arrange something with my parents they cant because they have a school run to do. yeh it upsets me but it upsets me more because my son is missing out and he keeps asking when is his Nan and Grandad are going to come and see him after school It's a hard situation but it's one that i've just got to accept. As for when your LO comes, i'm sure your mum and Dad will be thrilled and hopefully they'll find a way to divide their time equally because that's only fair

 

[reiller]

Hi Ladies,


Really appreciate the responses. I tried to make the effort with my nephew but I fear I may be growing to dislike the child... Wich I obviously do not want... Also. . and I dunno how thsi will come acraoss I live with my OH but he will soon ahve to go off aon a tour of Duty. Leaving me n baby 3 month when he goes at the flat...so ill be moving back home... My sister was very upset at the fact my nephew will no longer be able to have the "big bed" in the spare room when he stays over (which coincidently is actually my room and had been for the whole of my life until I moved out) and will have to go to the box room
She thinks that when I move the 52" plasma tv I bought my OH should be put in his room as "compensation".... Im actually drained and void of emotion at this.