Advice needed - very long

[xprincessx]

Hi everyone

Bit of background first so hopefully it will make a bit of sense!!

This is my 3rd baby, I have a 12 month old and an almost 6 year old. I attempted BF with both of them but unfortunately I was unable to continue which has given me feelings of guilt ever since.

With my 6 year old I was dead set on FF (I was very young and naive!) until my DH convinced me to at least try BF and in the end I became very attached to the idea. I tried to BF him when he was born but he wouldn't latch so he had to have aptamil as his first milk (it had been 8 hours since birth and he was not getting it at all), miraculously the next day he latched perfectly and was very efficient at the breast. I had family come and stay when he was 6 days old and I felt uncomfortable BF in front of them. One of the relatives that was staying was BF her 3 month old at the time and I was given very poor advice of expressing my milk into a bottle. I did this and then unfortunately he refused to ever latch again. The next 4 weeks were spent exclusively pumping breastmilk but due to not looking for proper advice etc I had no idea how often I was supposed to be pumping and after the 4 weeks my milk dried up and I had to switch to formula.

I promised myself I wouldn't make the same mistake with my daughter. I was deadset on BF her and so that's what I did, she had a great latch for her first feed but then her latch became very bad. I followed the advice on pictures I had seen and advice from antenatal classes but she just would not latch in a way that didn't make me scream out in agony. I ended up with bleeding, cracked nipples that even lanisoh wasn't touching. No matter how many times I took her off and re-positioned her it just would not work. I switched again to exclusively pumping but after a few days I missed the closeness of BF so attempted again but it still wasn't working properly. I phoned a BF helpline who said to give as much skin to skin as possible and allow her to root around and naturally latch on but it didn't work. I got nipple shields but she was very frustrated with them and spent the whole time screaming because she couldn't work it out so we went back to pumping. After she came out in a rash that was only getting worse and not better and me trying to reduce things out of my diet to see what was causing the problem (but being unable to find what it was) we switched to formula. Unfortunately the rash didn't go away and it turned out she had CMPI (which I then kicked myself about because cows milk was the one thing I didn't think to remove from my diet )

Now my next baby is due in a months time and there is a high possibility he will be born this month (due to positioning and the fact I have had 2 previous unstable lies) and I really do not want to fail at BF again. Don't get me wrong formula nourished and grew my babies so I am very grateful for it but I will always regret it if I don't manage it this time as this is almost certain to be my last baby. I really need some advice on latching and positioning (particularly positions that are good for women with large breasts as mine are!). If anyone has any advice that they could give I would be very grateful, especially on how to prevent the soreness that I have experienced with feeding before.

TIA

 

[BellaRosa8302]

Hi Princess! I breastfed my daughter until about 2 months over age 3 and I'm still breastfeeding my (almost) 6 month old son. We tandemed for 4 of those months. (Just letting you know my experience before I give you advice).

1. Find a lactation consultant that you can call when you're out of the hospital. Maybe you won't need her, but just in case, it's good to know who to call if you're having trouble.
2. Ask for a lactation consultant to work with you while you're still in the hospital, provided one is available.
3. Take a breastfeeding class. Now. While you're still pregnant.
4. If you're on Facebook, join some support groups. Breastfeeding Mama Talk Privately and Dairy Queens are good ones. Working Dairy Queens is great if you're pumping. These are HUGE (yet private) groups that have women from all different countries on them. Chances are, no matter what time of day or night it is, someone will be on there to advise or support you.
5. Find a support group you can go to in person. Start going NOW - while you're still pregnant. I am lucky enough to have found one near me that is run by a lactation consultant. The power of having women around you going through the same things you are is amazing.
6. Ask your doctor for a prescription for APNO. (Stands for All Purpose Nipple Ointment). It will cure anything from cracked bleeding nipples to yeast and everything in between. It doesn't even touch Lanolin.
7. Baby steps. I have sensitive nipples in general. Breastfeeding my daughter was EXCRUCIATING at first. Well, let's be honest... we didn't have a good breastfeeding relationship until she was around 2 or 3 months old. (I don't want to scare you - I may be an exceptional case. I'd say shoot for most things to be resolved by 4-6 weeks if not sooner). I became engorged, couldn't get my daughter to latch, and ended up bottle feeding expressed milk (sounds familiar, right?) but with some determination, help from a lactation consultant, and knowing my limits, I got her back to the boob. I used to breastfeed while cringing with tears streaming down my cheeks. I told myself that I could stand breastfeeding once per day. So I did that for a while. After I was okay with that, I told myself, I could stand breastfeeding twice per day. Got used to that. Then 3x per day, etc. Before I knew it, I was breastfeeding exclusively and hadn't pumped/bottle fed in ages! It was amazing and empowering. You CAN do this )

I'll probably think of something else later... but for now, that's all. Good luck mama!

 

[Tasha]

I didn't want to BF my first two (issues I'd not worked through), my third I wanted to but she died, my fourth I managed six weeks because of very poor advice with regards to expressing etc, my fifth died and my sixth, I knew was my last baby, I told myself no pressure but secretly I really wanted to do it, I knew I'd feel like you know you will. We are still breast feeding almost 15 months later

My first bit of advice is to realise that each baby is different. I had zero problems with this one and always say he knew what he was doing and showed me. Just because you've had issues before doesn't mean history will repeat itself. Obviously you might have some issues but keep an open mind.

I've got 34 K boobs and just do standard position but held it out of the way of his nose for a bit. I found laying down was the easiest actually. I've ready rugby ball but that work for us.

 

[noon_child]

Hi Princess! I breastfed my daughter until about 2 months over age 3 and I'm still breastfeeding my (almost) 6 month old son. We tandemed for 4 of those months. (Just letting you know my experience before I give you advice).

1. Find a lactation consultant that you can call when you're out of the hospital. Maybe you won't need her, but just in case, it's good to know who to call if you're having trouble.
2. Ask for a lactation consultant to work with you while you're still in the hospital, provided one is available.
3. Take a breastfeeding class. Now. While you're still pregnant.
4. If you're on Facebook, join some support groups. Breastfeeding Mama Talk Privately and Dairy Queens are good ones. Working Dairy Queens is great if you're pumping. These are HUGE (yet private) groups that have women from all different countries on them. Chances are, no matter what time of day or night it is, someone will be on there to advise or support you.
5. Find a support group you can go to in person. Start going NOW - while you're still pregnant. I am lucky enough to have found one near me that is run by a lactation consultant. The power of having women around you going through the same things you are is amazing.
6. Ask your doctor for a prescription for APNO. (Stands for All Purpose Nipple Ointment). It will cure anything from cracked bleeding nipples to yeast and everything in between. It doesn't even touch Lanolin.
7. Baby steps. I have sensitive nipples in general. Breastfeeding my daughter was EXCRUCIATING at first. Well, let's be honest... we didn't have a good breastfeeding relationship until she was around 2 or 3 months old. (I don't want to scare you - I may be an exceptional case. I'd say shoot for most things to be resolved by 4-6 weeks if not sooner). I became engorged, couldn't get my daughter to latch, and ended up bottle feeding expressed milk (sounds familiar, right?) but with some determination, help from a lactation consultant, and knowing my limits, I got her back to the boob. I used to breastfeed while cringing with tears streaming down my cheeks. I told myself that I could stand breastfeeding once per day. So I did that for a while. After I was okay with that, I told myself, I could stand breastfeeding twice per day. Got used to that. Then 3x per day, etc. Before I knew it, I was breastfeeding exclusively and hadn't pumped/bottle fed in ages! It was amazing and empowering. You CAN do this )

I'll probably think of something else later... but for now, that's all. Good luck mama!

I agree. A quick google found this in your area https://sid.southampton.gov.uk/kb5/southampton/directory/service.action?id=4mbJ6VOPu3U&slaction=ADD&itemid=3NaZLQD7ERImc1dCjp_X2qQeixtUsrVyIyj54PKZr7k$
and NCT and LLL will send breastfeeding counsellors to your house for free if they have one in your area if you do experience problems with breastfeeding. I had 4 home visits in the first 6 weeks not including the visits from my health visitor and the weekly trips to me breastfeeding support group - sometimes it really does take a village!

If you like to read and research things, books like "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" are really good at helping you know what is normal vs what is a red flag of something not being right.

 

[minties]

Even though I'm on number 3, I've had cracked, bleeding and blistered nipples with all 3.

I must have watched 100 youtube videos on latching when I was pregnant with Emma, I knew all the techniques, tricks and positions. I went into it with such confidence that THIS time I wouldn't even have slightly tender nipples, let alone cracks or significant pain.

Well I did. It sucked. I know all about crying while nursing. She's never ever opened her mouth to nurse, she just sucks the nipple in (owie!!!). She still does this but it doesn't hurt at all now.

My only advice is to try and persevere through pain, if you can. I would have slappe anyone who told me thy while I was in the middle of nursing Emma in the first couple of weeks, but I am glad I kept on trucking through and by about day 16 things were a lot better. All but one teeny weeny crack had healed by then, the blisters were gone and the general nipple pain was gone.

 

[SarahP13]

I think you've had lots of good advice already but two things spring to mind.

Firstly one tip I had when pregnant with my first was to play with my nipples while still pregnant, get them used to being messed with- toughen them up a bit! Felt strange at first and they were quite sensitive but after a few weeks I noticed a definite change. Just be careful if you start getting BH as some people do this to start labour!

Secondly, get as much skin to skin as possible. I was reasonably large chested (34F) and found lying down was comfortable. I would spend lots of time snugged in bed together naked, let baby feed when s/he wants to and just relax. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself.

As PP said, some babies just 'get it' and your LO may be one of those. I had a horrible birth with DD1, massive blood loss and milk didn't come in until day 7. She was combifed until then (from a cup not a bottle) but she kept on suckling and by day ten we were exclusively breastfeeding like pros.

I remember my mum saying it would be a month until we both felt completely comfortable and in a rhythm. I was shocked. I expected it to feel natural within days (oh the ignorance of being first time pregnant!), 2 weeks at the most. Everyone I know who didn't breastfeed to 6 months gave up in the first two weeks- many for completely understandably reasons (no criticism/judgment!) but for me, knowing it could take a month helped me to keep going. If mum hadn't said that then I think I'd have given up in that first week.

Good luck! X

 

[happynewmom1]

You have had great advice here! Take it all in. I will say I also went into each baby with more knowledge on breastfeeding than the last but I still had cracked nipples with painful blood blisters on them for a good few weeks at least. With this baby it was so hard to get her latch just right.. Luckily I knew if I waited it out it would get better.. And I'm glad I did. At the time I thought very hard about just switching her to formula. The beginning is terribly bard especially when you have other kids too. It's exhausting and you will still be recovering yourself. Don't be afraid to reach out for help whenever you need it.


I agree with the things the other ladies here said. If you are able to persevere through the first few weeks, it does get better and it's worth it.