advice on breastfeeding and introducing dummy

[wishingonastar]

Hi, I'm breastfeeding and baby is a month old and doing well. She needs to be held constantly while asleep and I wondered if people could advise from their experience whether introducing a dummy would:
- assist me in being able to put her down for naps
- help her to self settle (currently needs to be walked, rocked or fed)

Also will it affect successful breastfeeding?

 

[noon_child]

Self settling is a bit of a controversial issue. In my own opinion I agree with the psychologists and practitioners who say that content and secure children come from relationships with caregivers where they were learnt what feeling settled and soothed felt like by being settled and soothed by that caregiver. This is something that takes a different amount of time for all children but I wouldn't expect any baby to be able to do it at 1 month.

In that respect a pacifier might soothe her because it is made to resemble and replace your presence as a Mum, however a pacifier doesn't provide what you can. In a newborn, being held regulates breathing and temperature (they are quite bad at doing these things for themselves when newly born!) and offers food whenever needed (which is frequently).

Sucking on a pacifier could fool you LO in to thinking she had a feed when she didn't which can have three consequences - 1: more disrupted sleep as baby wakes more frequently due to hunger as should have been feeding rather than sucking -2: nipple preference where she refuses your breast thinking it is a foreign object and the dummy is the "safe" nipple - 3: slow in weight gain due to skipping feeds, and drop in supply due to same. Of course many people use them without any of these problems, you just need to be aware of them.

I know I felt quite desperate during the newborn stage and so I'm not going to say you should or shouldn't do something. As the parent you make he choices that you need to. What I would say is that this stage doesn't last forever, it isn't your life now, it does change, so don't feel like you have to make your baby sleep a certain way or act a certain way in order for it to not be like this forever. What you describe is normal baby behaviour and it changes quite independently of anything we as parents do or don't do.

It might be helpful to Google 'fourth trimester' which talks of new babies needs as being very much the same as when they were a foetus.

 

[wishingonastar]

Thanks, I guess I'm bit worried as first child discovered her thumb around 6-8 weeks and i could put her down for naps. Second never did and had to be held or lay next to me for all naps and night sleep unless in buggy or car. It was extremely tough and put a lot of strain on me, my eldest who suffered due to the demands of second and on my relationship with husband. I guess I'm just worried my third will continue with a high dependence beyond newborn and so much I've read says if they need rocking and feeding as a newborn they will need it beyond that so u didn't know if I've done things wrong myself and if despite being my third I've missed another way of doing things!

Will definitely look at fourth trimester thanks and interested to hear from others too pls

 

[lau86]

All 3 of mine have had a dummy from birth. Some professionals told me not to as it would interfere with bfing, my midwife was the only one who said it was ok. My babies are full term and healthy, they wake for feeds regardless of having a dummy. They know no milk is coming out of a dummy.
My babies seem to enjoy it, they settle well and my youngest can sort of settle herself if she is sleepy. All three were born around the 10th centile and stayed there so it never caused problems with weight gain. I'd say you should be fine to give a dummy now.

 

[stormcloud96]

I'm a FTM, and have googled heaps... I'm pretty sure our bub has reflux frequently & the other night was up from 11 pm - 1 am and even crying while on the boob (one of the signs) after walking with her over my shoulder for a bit gave her the dummy she finally drifted off to sleep & after I put her down I waited a few minutes & then took the dummy out, she woke up for her usual feed time 2-3 hours after. As long as its safe do what you need to do! She is 3 weeks old.

 

[MummyKP]

I was the same as you a few weeks ago and weren't keen to give my LO a dummy but at 6 weeks I decided to give it a go as she was suckling for comfort a lot of the time. It's not interfered with BF at all, she knows the difference between my boob and her dummy. It really helps her to stay settled or if she's getting a bit agitated she has it. We don't use it at bedtime or during the night, just in the day atm, but I think you'd be fine to give LO a dummy and it won't cause any problems.

 

[ElmaWG]

I don't have answers for you, but I'm in the same boat. I tried offering a paci when DS was 2 weeks, but it caused major nipple confusion (which apparently IS real for some babies...he wouldn'/couldnt latch at all for several hours both times I tried). He also had weight gain problems (just slow to gain) So I put off using them.

But he's 5 weeks now and nurses much better, and is gaining well. I've given the paci a few times in the last week during bad diaper changes, and it went well. So I'm thinking of giving it another go during bedtime, to TRY to let himself settle. DS1 couldn't fall asleep on his own til he was older than a year, but with him I never really even tried to let him Fall asleep on his own (he cried when ever set down so it wasn't really an option). But having a toddler who isn't getting enough attention, makes me much more motivated to explore anything that might help this Baby fall asleep on his own.

Let us know if it works out for you

 

[bundle4me]

We gave dd a dummy at about 3-4 weeks, mainly because Oh couldn't settle her when I was in the bath or settling our other children she wasn't keen at first but got used to it and now it's a God send like if we do a car journey the dummy settles her if we can't yet stop for bf we have them extra minutes to find a good place to stop. It never interfered with bf at all.

 

[wishingonastar]

The 4th trimester reading is very interesting and makes valid points when you think about it.

Feel very torn. My older children go back to school tomorrow so I'm gonna see how I go and of we can ride it out I will hold off and see if she develops less reliance for naps in the coming weeks but if my sanity is pushed I'll have to revisit this and likely try a dummy.

In truth I can see us needing one to help by hubby settle her as there are quite a few times when only suckling has comforted her which leaves him powerless and causes her extra stress

 

[lillme]

Have you tried babywearing before you try a dummy? My lo is now 14 weeks and for the first 8 would not go down for naps unless she was on me. I used a hanna baby wrap for those weeks and wore her all day. As another said they need you to regulate temperature and breathing. I now have a very contented baby that babbles away to self settle and we never used a cry it out method. They say that babywearing promotes independence and reduces colic and reflux.
Maybe worth a try before a paci and I was able to keep my sanity having two hands, able to go for walks and make myself a cup of tea all knowing she was very content. I ebf it promoted skin to skin so u have an abundance of milk and I'm not big so can donate some of my excess x

 

[wishingonastar]

Thanks lilme. Yep I baby wear too...without boring you with the details our middle child rejected my hubby completely until she was 2 yrs and I had to do everything. This baby likes being worn but apart from sometimes needing two hands and no baby on me to get dressed and do some house stuff I wanted to make sure hubby (& someone else) could settle her as well as me. Figured dummy would help but as was case with my other two she has also rejected it as since this post out of desperation I've tried it several times. Truly hoping she develops an ability to self settle when a little older (as middle one didn't develop this til about 2 and it was so stressful for whole household)

 

[Mississippi03]

Hey girl, im unsure if itll help you with naps etc.. Some babes it does.
But i wanted to say that I introduced a paci after a week, and a bottle on day 1. My little has never had a problem going between all 3.
We have never given it to him solely to sleep so he doesnt seem deoendent on it to sleep.
He didnt start napping until 3 months old. But some other things that have helped up.. The munchkin noise machine and projector. Has also bern a lifesaver in transferring him from our room to his own.
Also, during the day i let him nap on his tummy.. It worked like a charm to get him sleeping. Now that hes rolling and has good head control i let him tummy sleep at night too if hes struggling with the startle response and he actually does so great with it.

Some people might bite my head off for it.. But do what works for you.

Oh and he has also found his thumb and despite the paci.. He will still suck on his thumb sometimes

 

[jessmke]

I just introduced a pacifier to my 6 week old this week, as a stepping stone to getting her to take a bottle. We had to try a few different pacifiers and it took about a week of practicing but she will now take the pacifier occasionally, but it does take some work for her to figure out how to suck on it. It hasn't affected her breastfeeding at all. We are using the Nuk brand, the pacifier nipple is the same as the bottle nipple, so we have her take the pacifier and once she is sucking on that well we pull it out and replace it with the bottle. It's the only way we have been able to get her to take a bottle (I am breastfeeding but want her to be able to take a bottle in case I have to be away from her for several hours). Once she gets used to the bottle we will cut out the pacifier. She doesn't get the paci for sleeping, just when we are trying to get her to take a bottle or if she is awake and unsettled but not wanting to sleep. My daughter will settle herself to sleep when I put her down, but honestly my hubby hasn't really put her to sleep on his own yet because I am always home in the evenings, so we might try the paci if he ever has to put her to sleep without me. If I ever go out and leave her with hubby I always feed and put her to sleep before I leave.

 

[wishingonastar]

I'm so envious that your LO settles themself to sleep! That sounds like a great plan with dummy leading to bottle as this is my third and I've not tried a bottle yet but am pretty sure she wouldn't take one at the mo as rejects dummy!

 

[Bevziibubble]

I used a dummy from the start this time and it hasn't affected breastfeeding at all. I can see him getting bored of the dummy in time though. My oldest child has never self settled.