Advice- partner problems

[mummydove]

I have a 2 year old boy who i have looked after since my husband left when he was one month old.

Even though my ex has been nothing but horrible to me (putting the house on the market without telling me, shouting at DS when he was only months old, and many other things) i have alsways tried to be accomodating with contact for him and our DS.

He has him 2 full days a week and one over night. This has happened since he left. Now a year on he has sent me a solicitors letter with a list of demands. He wants him for 3 seperate weeks 3 times a year, long weekends every third week and all special occasions.

I am so cross that he has done this because if he had just asked me we could have discussed it and i probably would have let him see fin a bit more (although i think it would not be best for finley to be away from me so much - and i still worry about my ex temper)the only reason i let him go know is because i know he is living with his parents.

I am going to see my solictior today but i just wondered if anyone has got any advice. Both my health visitor and solicitor have said in the past that he is lucky to have a regular over night.

Any advice or information? What are over peoples routines with partners.

 

[xxannxx]

Hiya, from reading your thread i would say it seems like you have been more than accomodating with access so far, and that he already seems to have a very fair deal.
My ex and i split when LO was 6wks old, and although he always had plenty of access, he only started keeping him overnight, when he was 8mths old. At present my LO is 3, and ex has him 1 overnight per week, alternating Friday and Saturday, from 12pm-12pm, and 1 weekend in 4, he has him Saturday 12pm-Sunday 7pm. He did ask for a little more and so i had suggested that he took him the 1 weekend in 4, from Friday 12pm - Sunday 12pm, but LO wouldn't stay for that long, so that didn't work.
My ex seen a solicitor about it once, as he wanted access during week rather than weekend, but after discussing with my solicitor i refused as LO has nursery during week, and i didn't think it was practical. My solicitor had advised me that if ex took it all the way to court he would probably, only be granted 1 weekday from 2pm-6pm.
Your doing right thing seeing solicitor, make sure you know all your options and would also say make sure you take into account the future, as there is no point agreeing extra contact if when nursery/school arrives it will need changed again. Good luck