Advice sought

[Sazzworth]

Hi - new here - i can't sleep... I have brought up 4 and 3 year old boys alone for 3 and a half years. I have always wanted a large family and it has eaten away at me - I never go out to meet someone new and I'm sure I'm too scarred to form a decent relationship... I researched into donor insemination and thought about it for a year, then proceeded in a moment of confidence. Within days of being inseminated, I felt guilty - financially I manage well with two and really cope brilliantly alone, but thought about how a new baby would affect my boys, what would I tell the baby when he/she is older, etc? I think I am in fact pregnant, period is overdue and now I am in pieces - thought about what other people will say - my Mum is old fashioned. Think it will upset her. The town I live in is quite backward ... I feel selfish and wonder if I've just bitten off more than I can chew. Can anyone offer advice? I have thought about termination, but at almost 37, this could be my last chance...

 

[amygwen]

Honestly, if you considered artificial insemination even if it was for a day to drive down to get it done, there's obviously something inside of you that wants to have a baby. You're right, you're 37 years old and this could technically be your 'last chance' even though plenty of women have gotten pregnant even older then you, but it sounds to me like you have two excellent little boys and they are at a great age to have another baby. You just explain to your baby when he/she is older that they were a wonderful gift that was given to you and you love them unconditionally no matter what. And even if you live in a small town, what will people say? Really, it's your business what you decide to do with your life and it's none of their business unless you make it their business. It sounds to me like you're just getting over the initial shock of thinking/finding out you're pregnant that everyone goes through. But I'm sure once you get reassurance from people that you're doing a good thing, you will feel a million times better! You're a great mom and you can do it, just remember that.. you have two little boys and you've proven for the past 4 years that you can be a good mom and a single mom for 3.5 years, just remember that! And keep your head up high

 

[billy2mm]

what you could tell your lo when he/she grows up - mummy wanted you very very much to make our family complete.

what to tell your mum - im 37 i know what im doing. you dont have to agree with it just support me or dont its your choice and i will manage perfectly well without your help.

what to tell the rest of the town - none of your feckin business so go interfere with someone elses life!

for you to have done the research and gotten approved for the donor insemination then you have seriously thought about this long and hard - its not a spur of the moment decision.

if you are pregnant then yes this may well be your "last chance" but it may well not be. you never know. you are a grown woman who is raising 2 wonderful sons and im positive you will raise another one well if thats what you chose to do.

you cant decide anything without knowing for sure so i would get a test and take it from there.

 

[LittleMadam]

You're 37 with two children already. You've done this before (having a baby) so you know what to expect and sounds like you can more than cope. You're just having an attack of nerves.

I wouldn't worry about what others think as there is little you can do about it. Your life and your business.

Whatever you decide, we are here to listen.

Hugs.xx

 

[topazicatzbet]

i bet you will be suprised how open everyone will be, my son is concieved by a donor and im ttc no 2 with the same donor. im very open about how and why he was concieved and i havent had 1 single negative comment, everyone supports me and says good on me.

i plan to be totally honest with the children and tell them how they were concieved when they are old enough. as long as you are honest with them they wont have a problem with it.