Age limit for play dates

[Pulirula]

My DD is 7. Going to be 8 in Dec. my question is should she be hanging out with a just turned 4 yr old? My sister (19)has recently made new friends and these friends have a niece my sis wants to take my DD to hang out with. I feel like my sister (19) should just have her friend time and my DD time seperate and not try to make the 2 be friends. I don't think it's fair to my DD to have to share her favorite aunt with her friends.
My sister wants to take my DD on all these play dates with her friends and her niece.
I jus don't think my 8 yr old needs to be friends with a kid so much younger that isn't family at all. Hope this isn't confusing lol.
My sis is mad at me for not letting my DD go to this little girls bday party today. I just think my sis needs to do her own thing and leave my DD out of her new friendships.

 

[george83]

If it was your friend then I don't think it would be an issue but as its your sister I would struggle to see the need. However if your child actually enjoys mixing with them then I wouldn't overly have an issue with it. My son plays with a child who is 3 years old than him (5 and 8 years old) but this child is home schooled and seems much younger than other 8 year olds that ive had contact with so the age could be irrelevant

 

[Wobbles]

My 2 have friends all ages and mix with all ages if it be a friends child, a friends friends child, a friends sister/brother, when we meet up for play dates, at the park etc they tend to like looking after little ones.

My youngest DD is 8 eldest 9.

 

[.Mrs.B.]

I think it's better to mix ages. My son is 4 and plays with all ages, he is able to play 'mature' games with older kids and also understands how to play with a baby who might want to take every toy he's holding.
My son's cousin is a 9 year old girl and they can play together for hours, the girl enjoys it as much as he does.

If you would let your sister take your daughter to a same age play date then I see no reason not to let her when it's mixed ages. They do get a lot out of mixing ages.

 

[Natsku]

Mixing ages is good, they learn from each other. Maria plays with children of all ages - one of her neighbourhood friends is a four year old boy and another is a girl at least three years older than her.

 

[MindUtopia]

I don't think there's anything wrong with mixing ages. Certainly, when I was young, I spent time with lots of my friend's siblings or neighbourhood kids who were a few years younger or older than me and it was really nice. They were like big sisters to me and vice versa. So I don't think there's anything wrong with your daughter playing with this little girl if she wants to and it's not otherwise interfering with anything (like their quality time together as niece and aunt). But the way you describe it, it doesn't sound like your daughter really even knows this girl and that your sister just sort of wants to 'play' at having a play date (because she doesn't have any kids of her own?) and it's more your sister who wants to hang out with her mum rather than your daughter. I mean, I have a 4 year old and I would think it was weird if one of my childless friends brought their 8 year old niece who I didn't even know over to my house when they came to visit on the assumption the girls could play together. I don't think there's anything wrong with letting them spend time together if both girls are keen and know each other already, but I would just follow your daughter's lead. If she has fun with her, great, maybe they can get together sometimes. But if she just wants to spend time with her aunt or would prefer to do things with kids her own age, I would just say so and ask your sister to parcel out her time better so everyone gets to see her without it all feeling too forced.

 

[Nibblenic]

My 8 year old spent the day yesterday with my friends and their children, ages everyone from babies and toddlers to 4/5 year olds. They all played together and looked out for the little ones. They had a great day.

I think its good for older kids to start learning caring and patience with littler kids.

 

[CaptainMummy]

Have you asked your daughter if she enjoys it, and does she want to go? If so, then I don't see any wrong with it. I'm sure she would let you know if she didn't.

 

[SarahBear]

I'd let your daughter's interest be the gauge here. If she's into it, then great! If not, then don't make her do it. My 4 year old is friends with a 7 year old and that 7 year old is interested in playing with my 2 year old. Age gaps shouldn't be an issue if all involved are happy and appropriate.

 

[BabyGirl999]

I genuinely have no idea why you have an issue with this? Your sister wants to include your daughter with her new friends and their niece, and you're not happy about this? Is there some reason that you're jealous of this friendship? If not I apologise, I may have picked up wrong. Honestly, your child is so lucky to have an aunt that introduces her to new friends and takes her out to play!

 

[sabby52]

My son is 9 and plays with all age ranges, I work from home with children and he tends to become friendly with all the children I work with, we were at the park yesterday and not only was my 9 year old playing with his own friends (ages 8-11) he was also playing with the little ones I work with (ages 4-7). I think its great that my son has the tolerance to play with younger children, I have seen some children his age be quite mean to the younger ones (which is quite normal at that age as they dont want to play with 'babies') and I am proud of my son for being so mature about it