Almost complete panic - 9 weeks to plan our wedding

[Mary Jo]

Hey ladies

Never expected I'd be in this situation but circumstances have led us this way... basically OH and I have been engaged almost 2 years. From the beginning we (I) wanted a 2010 wedding, but could never pin OH down on a date or make any proper plans (he kept saying "what's the rush?" and we also had an issue about where we'd get married, in London where we live now and where he is from, or up north, where I am from and my parents still live).

Then I got pregnant and our son was last born last August, so I thought, nah, not happening for a while.

THEN we decided to get Adam baptised and I agreed to have it in London. We had a deadline for the ceremony of mid-March, since my brother and sil, who'd be AE's godparents, live overseas and my sil is pregnant with her third and due in June and I wasn't about to ask a 3rd tri pregnant lady to travel with 2 small children, and then I'd want to have left it till the new baby wasn't quite so small. By which time Adam would have been well over a year old. So baptism was set for March 14th.

And then - thinking out loud, I said to my OH, wouldn't it have been nice/convenient for us as well as my family to get married the same weekend. We'd only just resolved the "where" issue, as I gave up fighting and agreed to get married in London after all. next thing I know, OH tells me he has found a reception venue (somewhere we know as his sister had hers there 2 years ago) and it's affordable and available, and he has contacted the vicar with regard to possibly combining the baptism ceremony with our wedding! I thought - pie in the sky, but it seems not as the vicar has agreed and we're now all set for Friday March 12th.

Oh. My. God. That is NINE WEEKS away.

So all we have is: reception venue - which we have paid for the room hire (guess it's a deposit) and we're going over there on the 20th to discuss the rest. And the ceremonies are booked, so we need to contact the vicar at some point soon as well.

We also have a vague guest list. We'll be inviting 60-70 people, so not a massive affair, and we have some half-done invitations, which OH will finish off in by Monday.

Other than that - nothing. And I am starting to panic. When we were first talking about getting married, 3 years ago, and then got engaged, 2 years ago, I read a lot and went on wedding planning forums and the like, and had some ideas, but now we have just 9 weeks I feel completely thrown. I mean, I am ok with a lot of things because I am not fussed about fancy cars and a disco, and we have family/friends who are practically professional photographers so that's probably covered...

But MY DRESS is freaking me out. Like really. I have 2 stone of baby weight to lose, and I'd like to dump as much as I can but then I am worried about fitting in a dress I might get ahold of in the next few weeks! Never mind the actuality of finding a dress... I have ones I adore that I've seen in pics but have never tried one on and don't know what will suit me, and how to go about finding anything and the whole going round shops thing, which would be daunting enough in the time even without a 5-month-old baby in tow!

I don't know where to start. OH is being great, I know I can leave so much of it up to him, but not the dress, obviously!

Where should I start looking, with such a short time left? I am conscious of having read stuff about shops needing weeks for alterations, and obviously there prob won't be time for anything to be ordered so it'll have to be off the peg. I'm in southeast London, does anyone know of a friendly, non-scary place to dip my toes in the water?

Thanks for letting me vent..

 

[subaru555]

Oooo you need to get there ASAP - a lot of shops have january sales as the make way for new 2010 designs, but you'll need to get there fast as they all go quick. The quicker you get the dress the better - also just find a local alteration woman who does it in her house. - Much cheaper and probably quicker - the shop just add a service charge on if they do it for you.

I'm going for my last try (in-shop) tmrw of a dress before putting down deposit and it takes months to make, but then it's all made to measure so that's maybe slightly longer delivery than a standard size one.

Good luck I hope you find what your looking for!

Get onto your florist ASAP - mines wants a month in advance confirmation.

x

 

[pinkmummy]

Or you could make your own flowers? I just bought fake ones from Dunelm Mill and Hobbycraft and OH's aunty is arranging them for us. Cost about £50 altogether and out of that we have got, my bouquet, 4 bridesmaids, groom, FIL, FOB and BM flowers and MOB and MIL too

As said above get your dress ASAP!

Try eBay for all your decorations and things, I'm getting petals and crystals for the table decs from there.

Will add more when I think of them x

 

[Mary Jo]

Ooooh, THANK YOU, both.

I never even thought about January sales... see what a mashed up mess my head is! Might have to see what shops are local and see if I can go today or tomorrow, OH can mind the baby. (He thinks I can just go to Monsoon and fine, no issues, dress, done - like Gordon Ramsay - because his sis said they do dresses and maybe they do but the ones I saw online are not very me, and something I saw online said they don't have them in the shops outside of the pre-summer season?)

I'll have to put the fear into him and tell him I HAVE to do this first. Think his mum might be able to do alterations because there was a suggestion ages ago that she could make bridesmaid dresses, but doubt there's time for that now. And that's my other issue, I thought I could just get them - my two oldest girlfriends - to wear something in the right colour, any style, don't care if they don't match as long as they complement each other, but it's a little less straightforward than that as my best friend is plus plus sized and thus extremely fussy about what she'll wear, and fair enough, but she's already been on websites and sent me links of red and burgundy evening-type dresses... I don't want to say YES order it because I have no dress for myself yet and I don't think it's right that I should plan MY dress round hers! Surely it ought to be the other way around?!

 

[Lisalovesbean]

You CAN do this in nine weeks...I did it in SIX weeks back in 2003....We had been together for almost five years and Ellis was a few days short of his first birthday....and we had two wedding ceremonies, two receptions and a baptism, lol! Basically we were engaged within a month of meeting, had a mortgage together within five months and were both busy with our jobs and happy to wait for the wedding. Then we tried to concieve for three years and finally El was born in July 2002, we were busy with the baby and family life....then we went to a large grandiose wedding in June 2003 that the couple had spent two years planning and that horrified us, lol....a few days later we were talking about it and decided to name the date...19th July 2003!!!

We decided to keep things pretty quiet as we were not really "centre of attention types"...(or so we thought!) and set a date at the lovely town hall overlooking the River Mersey, very scenic and a slap up meal at a fancy restaurant and with just our parents, siblings, grans, best friends and Ellis attending.....a couple of weeks later both of our mums then started telling family and friends of our oncoming nuptials and then the phones calls started......and the whinging and "why can't we comes?"...so as we were also planning to have Ellis baptised we decided to arranage his christening fairly close to the wedding so that we could have a large reception that all "the univited" could attend.

We spoke with a our local vicar and he was happy to do the baptism on sunday 27th July, but then he also suggested that we also have a wedding blessing in church at the same time to make our baby's day even more special...we agreed as it was a lovely idea and also a way to appease all the extended friends and family! So we had our private day at the town hall...that was very emotional and romantic and with our favourite people ever sharing in our joy..and then our big combined day with over 200 guests in church and a huge reception afterwards in a beautiful cricket club, it was a warm, sunny day and just picturesque. I got to dress up twice in two very different wedding dresses, we had a fancy car, professional photographer, a barbeque style buffet and all the trimmings, it came in at under £4000 and was an amazing day, twice over!

I made my dress myself for the registry and bought a stunning Monsoon number from their bridal range for the church, buttonholes were silk and the ladies ones were customised with with tiny, tiny diamante stones by me and a local florist created my two bouquets, Shoes were from Ravel and BHS, Rings from local jewellery shop, did my own hair and make-up (my profession) and can I suggest Debut at Debenhams for bridesmaid and even bridal (think they go to sz 24), they have a fab selections from £80-ish and during the blue cross sales, they dip so much in price it's a giveaway! Their accessories department is also fab! Good luck and I can't wait to see how fab your pics are! Congrats!!!! x

 

[pinkclaire]

I organised our wedding in 12 weeks with my hubby being away and heavily pregnant! Go to a wedding fayre asap, I made loads of contacts, the fact tour getting married out of peak season means they will be looking for business and business they didn't think they will get. Look at it this way and you will get some great bargains like I did! Nothing is impossible.

I'd say get your dress, I was so nervous about getting this but once I did I felt much better, I was 35 weeks pregnant and they adjusted my dress with 2 weeks to go, so I'm sure yours will be fine! Plus it doesn't take them to much to make a dress smaller if you want to lose weight.

The big things you need done are:
dresses
cake
flowers
venue(but you've done that!)
invites out

after that I found everything else just fitted into place!

If your hiring mens suits, you can get them two weeks before if needs be

Write a list and tick them off as you do them you'll be surprised how quickly it all starts fitting into place, if you need any tips send me a message! Xx

 

[pinkclaire]

Oh and ps, put your foot down, I had MIL asking me what she should wear before I'd even got my dress and other people bugging me about things, I just said I'll let you know as soon as I have decided I have a lot to organise! Even though it's your wedding it surprised me how many people were just worried about themselves! Xx

 

[kitty1987]

Theres a very good lasy on ebay for artificial flowers. I got my brides flowers, 4 x bridesmaids, 6 x buttonholes and 2x cake flowers for around £60. If you want anymore details them pm me. x

ps. congratulations and good luck, I wish my wedding was so close!

 

[Vici]

Havern't got any tips i'm afraid but just wanted to say woo hoo, how exciting MJ xxx

 

[belladonna]

For your dress try https://www.peachesweddings.co.uk/ the ladies in there are really friendly and very, very helpful. I don't know where abouts you are in London, but you can get a train to Harlow from Liverpool st if need be.

 

[Mary Jo]

The big things you need done are:
dresses
cake
flowers
venue(but you've done that!)
invites out

thank you so much, all of you, for the info, stories, support and advice!

am very pleased to be able to report that since Friday things have moved along somewhat, as I HAVE A DRESS.

can hardly believe it, actually, how fortuitous it's all been... Friday lunchtime I went on yell.com to find local wedding dress shops. found one that I wouldn't have ordinarily considered local but it's 20 mins further out on the train into Kent from my local train station, and the shop website said it was 2 mins from the station. so since my fiance was home and could have Adam, off I went for my first toe to be dipped in the water!

VERY nice lady answered the door. asked me a bunch of questions, went when I said March 12th THIS YEAR, and directed me towards the sale rack. where I found a dress that was 90% close to the dream dress I found when I first looked 2 years ago. in a size 16 though. (I am pre-preg 10, currently a small 14, hoping to be a small 12 sooner rather than later.)

picked out a couple of other dresses, went in to try them on. this one I loved was too big but she clipped it in and assured me it was easily altered. another one fit perfectly and I liked it ok but didn't love. the third was unsuitable for a christening.

one I loved was practically half price £500, down from £975.

so I left, after asking for the dress's details, and said I expected I'd come back in the week with a friend. she said to call first in case either had gone.

called friend, asked her to go with me again in the morning to see, fully planning on getting this 90% perfect dress!

next morning, after fruitlessly searching online for the dress (for a pic) the night before, I finally got the shop's website to work. and there in the sale section was MY DRESS, definitely IT as they only had the one, in the size 16, asking price £350. that gave me the name of the dress so I thought, quickly run it through eBay and what does eBay turn up but that very same dress, the actual exact dress I tried on no less, on sale through the shop's eBay shop. for £200. DEFINITELY the same dress as on the listing it referenced the shop and suggested it could be collected in person from there and save on the shipping.

so. I met my friend, we decided I'd try on both dresses and she'd then make a song and dance about how the other dress was just perfect for me, suited me so well, exactly right for my style, etc etc etc. even tried on veils and tiaras with the other dress. then left saying we had one other place to look at but expected we'd be back later that day.

on leaving the shop, I called my mother, who was poised to press the buy it now button and asked her to go for it - so we got my practically perfect dress for £300 less than they wanted to sell it to me in the shop itself and £775 less than the original price. I am really happy with it, it'll be shipped Tuesday and with my mum Thur, hopefully, and then she'll bring it to me the following Tue.

need to find a seamstress to alter it and hoping that won't be an issue... was wondering if I went to truly local dress shops they'd give me details of people they use who are good and reliable and can do me at short notice? no idea how that works. also need shoes and underwear - what sort of bra, if any, would I wear under a strapless dress (it is boned and all)? I assume I'd need it before having fittings?

SO relieved to have a dress organised. it is really "me". other than the straplessness, which I don't love (it is the 10% non-perfect part), but I hope to get some sort of wrap/shrug/bolero as well.

other than that, we have been talking today with OH's mum and brainstorming some things. I had an idea, to help emphasise that it is also a christening as well as a wedding party, to fold the napkins at the reception like a terry nappy and make place cards and attach them to blue-headed old-fashioned nappy pins and rest on top of the "nappies" (Adam wears cloth nappies, it is appropriate and I hope cute as well). we're also going to have two separate cakes rather than a 2-tier wedding cake, so one will be a wedding cake and one a christening cake.

also hope to have something simple as table decorations - vases of daffodils or tulips.

my parents, Norwegian family and friends from up north have booked into a local hotel and we are in there, too, for the night before and the wedding night.

invites will be going out on Tuesday or Wednesday!

my flowers - MIGHT be long-stemmed dark red roses and maybe some white freesias. something simple. hand tied, not a fancy arrangement.

and I found the perfect little flower girl dress for my niece in Debenhams.

it's coming together, I have almost checked off the list, above! just need to sort out big bridesmaids' dresses and get something for my little nephew. and decide what OH and the men will wear (something hired).

 

[pinkclaire]

That's all fab news, I knew you'd get some bargains! I love it when it all starts coming together!

As for seamstress, look in yellow pages, get someone who works from home will cost so much less, I used the seamstress in the shop for my dress, she charged me 45 quid for practically nothing, one of my bridemaids needed hers done, 20 quid and she had double the alterations I did! Oh and did it within 2 weeks ! I had the same as you strapless and boned, I wore a wonderbra strapless bra and it was fine, I bought it last thing though, you will need your shoes for fittings, I got some lovely ones again from debenhams that were half price xx

I got my flower girl dresses from debenhams as well, they have some lovely stuff!

Not sure how little the boys are, but we could hire child suits from Moss Bros.

 

[vickie83]

This is almost exactly the same as my situation, we've had 6 weeks and Christmas and New Year were in the middle! We've managed it though - despite the venue double booking us (turned out for the best coz the one we've got now is much better and cheaper!)
My dress is brand new from ebay, cost less than £100 (from China but arrived in 4 days!) and is absolutely perfect. Good luck!

 

[subaru555]

Well done on the dress front girl!!

 

[Mary Jo]

thanks ladies!

am now having a minor fret about flowers - mine. what I'd normally choose (delicate flowers like tulips, freesia) don't really go with my dress, which has a lace overlay and while it's very feminine, it's not light either. but I am not so keen on big flowers like lilies. I think I'd like roses, maybe pale pink ones; deep red would look good I am sure, and would go with burgundy bridesmaid dresses, but they're not so "me"...

gah. feels like a toss-up between what I personally love and what will go with the dress I love (and already have), given they don't (at least I don't think) go together!

my favourite flowers are pale pink tulips, pale pink roses and freesia. and something elaborate, a structured bouquet, isn't really "me' either, I'm more of a plain bunch of flowers type.

this is the dress. I look nothing like the model, I have sleek, short, dark, somewhat 1920s' style hair.