Am I doing the right thing re: my 7 year old brother?

[belle254]

Hi all
I'm planning a home birth and as long as everything's going well and progressing my mum (a community midwife who I live with anyway) has agreed to be the 2nd midwife, so will stay with me in the early stages until another mw has to be called. She won't do examinations or anything overly medical but id be happy for her to catch the baby, so to speak, if she wanted to

The problem is, I also live with my 7 year old brother. My mum, sister and OH are all going to be there for the birth, but I've never felt comfortable with the idea of my brother witnessing the labour or birth. Our mum's okayed this and has said that he'll go to our dads house (15 mins drive away) during the birth. My dad was ok with this but was confused as to why he wasn't allowed to be there. His words were "stick him in front of a screen and he won't even notice you giving birth in the corner!" I was like

But am I doing the right thing not having him there? I'm worried he'd be traumatised, even if nothing went wrong, not to mention the fact that if I had to go to hospital someone would have to stay behind with him. He tends to be quite self centred and i know the questions would be annoying, as would me being aware of him being there the whole time. xx

 

[Mom2mmcjg]

You are definitely doing the right thing! Is your dad off his rocker?? He won't notice you giving birth in the corner??? This birth is about you and your baby, you shouldn't have to worry about a 7 year old. Come on, Dad! Really?

 

[pepper3]

i would do exacly the same as you.

 

[aliss]

I assume your mother has actually given birth herself and your father was a bystander. Go with her opinion

 

[belle254]

Haha thankyou, and thats what i said to him! I think my jaw actually dropped when he made that comment. men can be so useless sometimes
Yeah i think im going to go ahead with sending him to our dads i just needed some reassurance that others would do the same in this position x

 

[solitaire89]

I did post a reply, but my computer ate it... To cut a long story short, a calm and relaxed birth relies on you being comfortable in your surroundings. You've already said you're not comfortable with him being there, so that's it. Decision made Your dad is happy to have him, so there are no problems

 

[madasa]

If you don't want him there, he shouldn't be there. It's unlikely to be traumatising for HIM, but it will impact your labour significantly if you feel hindered or distracted by his presence. It won't hurt him to pop up the road to his dads. Some men can be total wallies. Ignore this one, his is talking from between his bum cheeks on this one!

 

[beetroot]

My 7 yr old son was in the house when I give birth to his sister. I was happy for him to witness it but he wanted to watch tv and came in immediately after she was born. It didn't affect my labour or traumatise him but that's just us. I did worry before hand tho if it would hinder my labour. At the end of the day, you have to give birth so do what's comfortable for you. Xx

 

[belle254]

thankyou beetroot. i dont know whether id feel different if he was my son, not my brother. we've all agreed to send him to our dads if im in established labour while hes awake. early labour might be do-able. same if its at night time and hes asleep. x

 

[sleepinbeauty]

I assume your mother has actually given birth herself and your father was a bystander. Go with her opinion

BWAHAHAHAHA Great advice!

 

[ace28]

We have a seven year old daughter and she will be going to a friends' during my birth. I don't worry that it would traumatize her, but she is very adult-centered, asks lots of questions, and likes to be in the center of everything- basically, she acts just like a seven year old!

I do sometimes wonder if, by having her go, I am denying her a) and important learning opportunity and b) an important family bonding moment... But then I think of my own experience watching a home birth when I was little and watching my sister be born when I was eleven and nope! I'm not denying her anything lol.

I think your brother will be just fine at your dads. No worries!