am i too young?

[Rach276]

hiya
im 17, 18 in jan
i just want some advice on whether im too young for a baby or not
im really mature and me and my partner have been together 4 years and we live togther im studying business and management and hes in full time work. i want to no if im too young to start ttc and whether any 1 has fitted college around a baby?
please can you reply i need some advice

 

[Linzi]

I wouldnt say you're too young, and the fact youve been with your partner for such a long time and you are living together and preparing for the future is great.

The only thing I would say is it might be quite hard to manage financially? Maybe have a look into benefits and stuff? But saying that, I dont think anyone can REALLY afford a baby.

Its your and your OH choice, so you guys make it! All the best to you!

xxx

 

[Tilly]

I agree with Linzi, but this is my opinion and you obviously have to follow your heart and not listen to me, but just something to think about. Why don't you wait until you've finished studying, but start saving an amount each month so that you're more prepared financially? It's great that you are getting prepared and thinking of a family, you seem very mature.

I had my baby at 20 and sometimes I found it hard on my own (don't get me wrong, I could cope but it can be tiring). Im 21 now and thinking about going to college again (Bethanie is almost a year though) and it's only now that id feel more comfortable doing it (plus it would only be an evening course). So saying that, I DO feel 17/18 could be a little young, only because you might want to have a little more fun and enjoy college first!

Hope that helps and you make whichever decision suits you

 

[Samantha675]

As Tilly said, it is your life, but here is my opinion. Are you too young? Yes, I think you are. You have so much infront of you. School and growing into the woman you are going to be. At 32 I look back and think about how young I was at 18, and how mature I thought I was. Not I know how much growing I had to do. You will change so much in the next ten years it is incredible. There is a whole world out there to discover and so much to experience. And it will be a whole hell of a lot easier to do so with out a child. Finish school, work, go out, get drunk, have fun being young. Having a child is the biggest most grown up thing in the world you can do. Once your baby is here, it becomes your world. Why not wait and have that much more to offer your baby. Please don't get me wrong, and don't think I am being judgemental. I wanted a baby at your age as well. I think it is natural part of growing up. So I wish you luck in making your decision.

 

[coccyx]

Yes you are too young,and i mean that in a nice way. Finish your studies, try and save some money. Why try to juggle studying and a baby? Babies are hard work physically and mentally and its often not until you have them that it really sinks in. Get those qualifications so you can offer your kids a better future when you do have them.

 

[shimmyshimmy]

I think that the fact you have posted this would suggest you yourself are unsure.
I am 10 years older than you and have 2 children and one on the way. I was 21 when I first fell pregnant and I felt it was the right time for me.
I did a lot of growing up between the ages of 16 and 20, and I am so glad I had these 4 years to go out with my friends and go clubbing, have a bit of a career, and become financially stable before we started trying.
If I hadnt had that time I think I would have always felt I was missing out, and I would have regretted it alot. But that is just me. Others wait even longer than that, and would feel 21 is too young.

If there are other things you hope to acheive is it best to do them now, during the babies first years or when the child is older. You have to decide what is best for you. Maybe this is all you have ever wanted.
If you are unsure, then please wait until you are sure.
Think things through. You dont want to have any regrets. I would say the same to anyone having doubts. 15-55.

 

[anita665]

You've been with your partner plenty long enough but it is very hard to fit studying in with a child - especially a brand new baby which will demand all of your attention for the first few months and it's all you'll want to think about too. Not only that but if you've worked hard at studying you shouldn't stop now. I'd finish and get in a bit of work experience too. If you do that it's best for you and best for your child in the future, when you will be able to provide a better life financially for him/her and give them all of your attention.

 

[Holldoll]

I agree with exactly what Samantha said. I got married at 19 and at 21 we decided to try to have a baby. I had a miscarriage and was devastated. I'm now 26 and the years between 21 and 26 are HUGE! I can't imagine what my life would be like if I actually would have had that baby. First of all, the man I married at 19, when I thought I was very mature was NOT the man that at 23 I thought he was. I've since married the man that I will spend the rest of my life with. I remember at 17 when I got engaged and everyone was telling me I was too young, but I thought I was very mature (and I really was for most 17 years old). I was a sophomore in college, lived on my own for 2 years.

Go out, have fun! Enjoy the freedom of being an adult and not having many responsibilities! You get to have kids for the rest of your life but you only get the freedom once!

 

[Simon'sMum]

I admire the fact that you were able to ask the questions and are open to receiving all answers and advice possible.

I'm now 25 and a new mom to Simon who's will turn 4 months soon. My parents had me when they were 17-18... I never lacked anything in my life but didn't want to have my baby at that age.

I was more than anxious to become a mom and during the 7 years spent with my boyfriend, I was sure we'd be parents together. But guess what: when headed for university, I got a whole other image of him and we parted ways. I then met my partner and chose to finish my degree, teach for 2 years and then had Simon. I feel more stable, financially independant. I worry from time to time but feel certain that we made the best decision in the end.

I just want to say that the most important is to know that you made the best choice for your new family in the end. No regrets, no sorrow, no frustration. Pregnancy and early months are great but remain a challenge which you'll want to face proud and confident.

 

[Rach276]

i didnt want to ask this question because i doubt myself just for a little advice on what it is to be a mum. i think the reason i want a child is because my mum walked out on us a few years ago and iv always known i would never be able to do that and i just want to be the best mum in the world
thank you for your comments, you have made me see that maybe waiting a bit will benefit me. maybe its selfish me wanting a baby at the moment, like im doing it more for myself. iv never wanted anythink more in my life and i no this sounds very imature and like im a silly kid but im really not. thanks for your advice it was luvly of u 2 reply
im just going to let nature runs its self and concentrate with college and gettin the good job im aiming for
thank u all so much xxxxxxxx

 

[Leannex]

hiya
im 17, 18 in jan
i just want some advice on whether im too young for a baby or not
im really mature and me and my partner have been together 4 years and we live togther im studying business and management and hes in full time work. i want to no if im too young to start ttc and whether any 1 has fitted college around a baby?
please can you reply i need some advice

hey

i found out i was pregnant at 17 (unplanned) i wouldnt say its something i would go advising people to go and do, even if they feel as though they are ready for such a huge commintment.
ive studied at college for 1st year of my course, but i realised i couldnt go back as was going to be way to much for me, as baby going be at age where going need me alot more and be demanding leaving no time for college work.
be honest, dont think it really matters much that boyfriend is in full time work, mine is aswell, and doesnt make matters any easier, in anyway.

personally, id say wait and do more things you want and spend and make most of the time with your boyfriend, youve got plenty of yearrs to become pregnant and start a family, doesnt have be at age of 17.

leannex

 

[Tam]

i didnt want to ask this question because i doubt myself just for a little advice on what it is to be a mum. i think the reason i want a child is because my mum walked out on us a few years ago and iv always known i would never be able to do that and i just want to be the best mum in the world
thank you for your comments, you have made me see that maybe waiting a bit will benefit me. maybe its selfish me wanting a baby at the moment, like im doing it more for myself. iv never wanted anythink more in my life and i no this sounds very imature and like im a silly kid but im really not. thanks for your advice it was luvly of u 2 reply
im just going to let nature runs its self and concentrate with college and gettin the good job im aiming for
thank u all so much xxxxxxxx

I don't think you are being selfish in wanting a baby, I think it is very understandable after hearing why hun. I think you are very wise with what you said. Get thru college, go out and enjoy life, do all the things that as a couple and no depedents you can enjoy, you will be pleased you did. And when you do get pregnant, I am sure you are going to be a great Mum!

Good Luck with your future hun! x

 

[shimmyshimmy]

I think you sound very mature, certainly not immature. To come here and ask this question was very brave, you are obviously thinking things through which is the right thing to do. Good luck with whatever you decide, and I am sure be it now or in the future you will make a wonderful Mummy.
x

 

[PstolPcknMoma]

I think, everyone is different, and your experience will be souly yours!
So follow your heart dear!... because only you know whats best for you!
Just make sure, you've studied your pro's n con's as best you can....
in other words, do what you think is right to be prepared!
Good luck! and all the best!

 

[Soontobe]

I am 20 and have been with my partner 8 years, 9 years in feb so i think you should go with what you and your partner are comfortable with!

If you love him and can see yourself with him and see him supporting you then go for it..

Good luck with it hun

 

[Ellianna]

Heya,
I don't really have much different to say than anyone else, but I just wanted to say hello
I don't think there's a 'too young' to have a baby but there definitely a time that you might be more financially stable and be able to give more of your time to a child, especially if u want to go to college. There's also a time that it'll probably be easier for you to have a child and go through everything that brings. Remember you have your whole life left to have lots of babies in if you want to!
I'm 17 and 14 weeks pregnant at the moment and I have to say even though my baby isn't here yet I'm already finding it difficult. I'm also fully aware that I won't be able to go out as much as my friends, will have to think about very different things and will have to be much more careful with money!
My pregnancy was an accident and although I've made the decision to have my baby, and now I'm really excited about meeting him/her, I wouldn't have chosen this to be the time to have my first child. But you can't plan life!
Hope everything goes well for you and you decide what's right for you.
Ellianna
xx

 

[sarah2334]

Hi, this is only a short reply.. Only you know if your ready or not.

 

[mBLACK]

In all honesty, nobody can tell you if you're ready or not. If it's something you would seriously wish to do and if you think you are stable enough financially, emotionally and physically to care for a child, then really what have you got to lose?
There is plenty of time to get out and do things if that's what you want to do in life, because once you have a child those options are quite limited, but it all depends on what you REALLY TRULY want in life.
If travelling and such is what you really want i suggest you wait to have a baby. Only you know the answer to this question, but if you do choose to get pregnant I highly advise that you are 300% sure without a doubt in your mind.
It's the most wonderful feeling of all - bearing a new life.

 

[Samo]

I agree with the ladies that you still have years ahead of you, and it's great you are studying and working on a career. Although its not impossible to juggle college and a baby at the same time, it may not be what you think. My friend had her baby at 19 while on her 2nd year in college, her baby is now 7 months and she no longer attends school as she used to...she does all her courses online from home. It's not easy though, sometimes shes up till the middle of the night to get assignments done while juggling to feed baby every few hours. Also not having hands on help when she needs it, and disciplining herself to get work done on time. So yes, it is possible to juggle the two...but it may not be what you think.

Good luck to you sweetie. And if you really like kids, have you thought about working at or volunteering at a daycare? I'm currently putting in an application to work at a daycare/preschool...to fill my crave for kids lol

 

[ThatGirl]

Personily i don't think you're too young, i'm 18 and TTC ,

at the end of the day what other people think doesn't really matter its what you think and when you want x