GOOD QUESTION... next one please... :-/
i'll be an "american" single mum, however, i'm a german national, meaning that i don't qualify for a whole lot of government support. well, none so far actually.
with rent and daycare costs being as high as they are down here in south florida AND not having any family support or friends network, i really don't know yet if i'll be able to make it on my own or if i'll have to move back to germany.
despite having a university degree, i was not able to find anything in my field that paid more than what i make serving tables down here, so that's what i do for a living. being a waitress i make in the lower $30.000's/year. i would be able to live off of that with LO, however i can only make that amount, if i work crazy shifts, nights, weekends etc. and that limits the choice of daycare and the two i've looked at so far that provide almost 24/7 daycare, are in the middle of the hood and look like the hood itself... shabby etc., but still cost close to $800/month and i would be very, very unhappy to drop of my 6 week old baby there.
i do not get unpaid maternity leave through the family and medical leave act (FMLA) as i have not been with my recent employer for 12 months. fortunately it's a corporate business, so between my "benefits" (which are rather lousy) i can take 4 weeks off unpaid for personal reasons. no daycare takes baby's younger than 6 weeks though, so i'll have to find a way to work at least 1-2 days a week after 4 weeks are up in order to keep my job.
i have lousy insurance with them starting 1.11. and can add LO to it once she's here, but it'll increase my expenses by $88.-/month. not THAT MUCH, yes, but for that lousy insurance i get for that, it actually is much.
i could apply for medicaid for LO... problem is, they want you to go after FOB first and to be honest i don't know if i can sit in front of them and tell them i don't know who the father is meaning to lie in order to avoid them going after FOB. i won't put him on the birth certificate as here in florida he would automatically be awarded joint parenting and that is not going to happen. i will not give him the right to tell me if i can leave the state or country after all that HE HAS DONE (to me) and HE HAS NOT DONE (for LO).
i would love to switch jobs after LO gets here, but with the crazy US laws, it is very risky as they can just fire you very quickly. i can't foresee if LO will get sick often and who is going to look after her then in order for me not to lose my job!??? as a waitress in a bigger corporate establishment however, i can always find a coworker to cover my shift if something is wrong with LO and i'd have to stay home.
i immigrated to the states all by myself in february 2009 and had the dream of staying at least for 5 years to try to get dual citizenship. with the current situation however, i have to leave the option of returning to germany open. as sad as that makes me as i fought hard to live over here in the first place and i've always been happier here than over there, i now have to think about my baby and as much as i would hate to rely on the social system.... if i'd go back to germany, i'd get apartment paid for, parenting money, child money etc. from the government until i'd get back on my own feet.
we'll see how things will develop in the next couple of months. my lease is up 28.02.2011, so LO will be a little over 2 months old when she'll be moving for the first time. either to a different place down here, to another state or across the ocean....
