Anorexic 12 yo.

[TaylorsMummyx]

My neice has lost 10lb in 3 months. My sister toke her doctors on Monday, she's had bloods taken and the doctor has given her some acid stuff because my neice uses the excuse that she "feels sick" which is why she doesn't eat.

Now I adore my sister and my neice, but I really feel that my sister is playing into her hands. Telling her she can eat as little as she wants ect. My sister doesn't see it as a big thing, but I'm telling you now my neice looks soo tiny, you can see her ribs, hips, backbone, even her face is starting to look gaunt. It's awful and I just want to shake her. She's never been big, but this is silly. Some boy even called her annorxic at school bless her.

I just don't know what to do/say. I feel neice is doing this for attention because her mum is all over her ATM. Yesterday she ate quiet abit, but today, nothing at all.

I just don't know how she can't be hungry. She's 5ft and weighs 6st1lb.m

 

[TaylorsMummyx]

Opps ment 5st1lb not 6 x

 

[robinator]

I'm recovered from AN, went thru rehab, the works.

I don't know how long the situation has been going on, but I can tell you even one day is too long. AN is a symptom of some other issue, and it needs to be addressed asap. The longer it goes on, the more your niece "controls" her life with food. The reason I put that word in quotes is because at some point the disease switches and it controls you, not the other way around. Even though anorexics will tell you otherwise; but if you control it so much, why can't you just stop, iykwim?

It sounds like it's already gotten to a point your niece can't recover from on her own; your sister needs to stop what she's doing and get your niece into see a therapist (preferably female) who specializes in eating disorders. She will help your niece get to the underlying issues that a parent doesn't have the resources to uncover. Plus your niece may not even want to discuss private things with her parents.

Tell her not to bother with group therapy; it turns into who has better tricks to keep the weight off, and a competition as to who can be the thinnest - not healthy. Get her in one on one with someone.

In the meantime, I would recommend just telling your niece that you are there for her if she ever wants to talk, and leave it at that. If you bring up the ED, or even hint at it, you may scare her off because she may not want to discuss it. Let her talk to you about it at her own pace, but keep in mind she may never want to. Just let her know your support is there if she ever wants it.

 

[suzib76]

Has she been diagnosed anorexic or is it just that you think she could be?

I don't know a lot about anorexia but I do have an 11 year old of around that height who looks completely healthy and normal at just over 6 stone.

 

[TaylorsMummyx]

She's having blood tests done then got to see a physiatrist x

 

[suzib76]

Right, the bloods could point to anything tbh, anorexia is just a possibility at this stage, lots of other medical possibles for losing weight and feeling crappy

Hopefully the bloods will give some answers for her x

 

[TaylorsMummyx]

I know my niece and I think she's doing it on purpose.

 

[haylo]

we thought this bout my brother - same age, wouldnt eat.

turned out he had chrohns disease - the eating hurt too much

 

[robinator]

Has she been diagnosed anorexic or is it just that you think she could be?

I don't know a lot about anorexia but I do have an 11 year old of around that height who looks completely healthy and normal at just over 6 stone.

Naturally thin people don't have bones jutting out, nor do they look sick

Anorexia is not a thin body: it's a thin body caused by trying to control your messed up life or self image with food/exercise.

 

[suzib76]

Has she been diagnosed anorexic or is it just that you think she could be?

I don't know a lot about anorexia but I do have an 11 year old of around that height who looks completely healthy and normal at just over 6 stone.

Naturally thin people don't have bones jutting out, nor do they look sick

Anorexia is not a thin body: it's a thin body caused by trying to control your messed up life or self image with food/exercise.

I know I said I don't know a lot about anorexia but I never said it was just a thin body ?

Like I said in my other post there are a million medical possibilities, not just anorexia, particularly as it hasn't been diagnosed. The op seems certain so I shall just leave it at that.

 

[hellohefalump]

You said she's doing it for attention... When it was me I was Like that, and I NEEDED attention. I didn't get it so I chose not to eat instead.

 

[MorganEvans]

At that age, geesh. Id show her what she could become if she was actually ill on purpouse, because it's literally horrifying.

 

[Irish Eyes]

I would explain to your sister what can happen if it's not recognised early. It's rare that an ED comes on it's own, often you find self harm, depression etc to go with it. Also, when she seems to eat more then watch for signs of purging afterwards (going to the bathroom, running taps etc).

My parents thought something might be going on but never confronted me. At the time I was glad, but here I am 17 years later wishing that I had someone like you to step in.

If it's a genuine sick problem that she's describing then she won't mind talking about it and explaining it in detail. If it's an eating disorder then you could be the person to save her years of misery.

 

[mummyhopeful]

Hi there,

Firstly I hope your niece is doing alright and that the blood tests were alright.

Secondly, I have had anorexia since I was 13, so ten years now and I can safely say I lost the whole experience of being a teenager to it. Anorexia is a mental illness like depression, schitzophrenia, bipolar, etc. that manifests itself with something physical - not eating. It becomes almost a compulsion after a while; you cannot go a day without thinking about food, weight, body image, etc. It is extremely painful, secretive, and often shameful, and people don't usually find out before it is too late. In my case I didn't tell my parents until I was 20, on my way out of the hospital, high as a kite on Ativan, because I had just had multiple seizures due to my eating disorder. A month later I had acute renal and bowel failure and nearly died. If you suspect this may be happening you need to say something immediately - if it is not treated...well let's just say some very bad things can happen.

Like has been said she very well may not want to talk to her parents about it, I know lots of people who didn't say anything to their parents because they were afraid of getting in trouble, people thinking they were simply a "drama queen" or not being believed. So knowing she has you there may help her to become more comfortable saying something if this is indeed what is going on. Also there are some wonderful treatment centres, counselors, etc. who specialize in eating disorders and the concurrent disorders that go along with them, most often anxiety and depression.

It is great that she is going to see (or seeing) a psychiatrist, I have found they definitely help. Also, if you suspect this is what is going on you probably should talk to her parents about your fears, because esspecially in children, if the parents don't know they have a tendency to feed into it (which in turn allows it to go on longer). Anorexia is a secretive disorder and the only way to beat it is to open the curtain so to speak.

I really hope everything works out and she is well. She is definitely really lucky to have as caring an aunt as you

 

[Siyren]

some aspects of this message are graphic!
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hey hun, it's great that you're so concerned about your niece and i hope you manage to speak to her mum

i wouldnt be quick to label her as "wanting attention" in what comes across in a negative way though.
i was labelled an attention seeker as a teenager because i was self harming, even my parents labelled me that way. it still confuses me how this happened as i was cutting on my own, in my room, and never intentionally showing anyone anything.

i wasnt taken seriously up until the point my mum came home and found me lying in a pool of my own blood- i'd slit my wrists from wrist to elbow, and was very determined to die.

took a lot of therapy but eventually i was able to explain that i was raped and i didnt know how to tell anyone, this was my way of dealing with everything.

the anorexia (if it is that) may just be a symptom of something much more serious. (all though anorexia alone is serious enough!)

i hope this helps, and i hope this hasnt offended anyone.