Anxiety about nursing in public

[Marie000]

So my daughter is just over 10 months old now. Until a few months ago, I used a nursing cover when nursing in public. It made me anxious to think I might make people uncomfortable (especially family and friends) and I just felt more comfortable that way.

Now, my daughter will not tolerate the nursing cover at all. Last few times I used it, OH had to help me by holding it while the baby tried to push it off her. It was a struggle. So I started avoiding nursing in public whenever I could. Since I don't go out much, it doesn't come up that often. But when I do go out, I find myself anxious about it. I nurse her before we leave, give her lots to eat at meals, and lots of water to drink, and distract her as much as possible just so she wont want to nurse.
Yesterday we had a family reunion and I got really anxious when lo started showing signs of wanting to nurse. I managed to avoid having to feed her, but I felt so bad that she went without milk from around 9am until 4pm when we got home. Poor babe

I feel silly and ashamed, but I can't help myself.
It doesn't help that I hate what my breasts look like now. The aerola (spelling?) has gotten really big and you can see it clearly even when lo is nursing. My breasts aren't small either, so the baby's face doesn't come close to hiding them.

I want to keep breastfeeding for a while still. Aside from that, it is going well and I am not looking to stop soon. lo hates bottles and we've had no luck giving her milk in a sippy cup either.

 

[MrsGM]

maybe try a scarf instead of full cover? so minimal exposure then drape scarf over and hopefully she'll get less cross with it?

 

[misspriss]

I have never used a cover, so I can't really help there. I was anxious about nursing without a cover at first, but after I just did it a few times I am not so much. It helped to be around other nursing mothers. I went to a La Leche League event this past weekend, and there were so many women nursing I NIP during church Sunday instead of slipping out to the lobby like I had in the past. No one noticed, no one cared.

But of course, I am of the opinion that my child getting to eat is more important than anyone else's comfort level But my baby is much smaller and gets no other nourishment, at 10 months, it sounds like your baby gets plenty of other food. It's really up to you what your priorities are in that situation.

 

[Rachel_C]

Well I do just wap them out anywhere but it's normally pretty discreet even when I'm not trying. Do you have any nursing tops that have a bit you lift up to expose your nipple? I have a couple from H&M, they're like a wrap top with a panel underneath - you pull aside one side of the wrap bit, then the panel underneath lifts up so you're still covered above where LO is feeding. So however big your boobs are, the top and the baby pretty much cover everything

 

[seaweed eater]

Mine hasn't tolerated a nursing cover in months, but I usually wear a tank top I can pull down under a top I can pull up. The looser the top layer, the more coverage I get, and it's not too distracting to him. It's very discreet and I've had people have a brief conversation with me that way before realizing I'm nursing. And I'm not small breasted, either.

 

[Peggy O]

Sounds ridiculous, but I have used a big rainbow striped umbrella that I keep in my car. My boobs are huge too and Lily won't tolerate being covered. I sit on the ground and open it up making a little privacy screen for us. Yes it draws attn, and looks stupid...but atleast I feel covered up at family picnics. Whipping a boob out in front of OH's dad is just not high on my to do list, Haha.

(good at the park too if I feel the need)

 

[Pielette]

I do the two tops thing as well and it's very discreet, I don't think people realise I'm nursing most of the time. I undo my bra underneath one of the tops and then position LO's head in front of my nipple while I latch him on, you really can't see anything.

Maybe you should try going to a kid friendly place to start with where you know they won't be bothered to see nursing in public. That might get your confidence up. The first time I did it was at a kids cafe where I knew nobody would bat an eyelid and I was right, so it helped me relax about it and built up my confidence.

 

[Marie000]

Thanks everyone!

I will look through my clothes to find something more suitable. I think it will help if I know people can't see much. Back when I used a cover, I still got a few stares, but it never bothered me. I just need some practice.

I'll try first around strangers before trying it around family. If strangers are uncomfortable with me nursing in public, I find it easier not to care.

 

[Calif]

Try 2 layers. Pull up a shirt, pull down a tank top. 99% of people think the baby is just sleeping. They're always surprised that I'm actually breastfeeding.

I found this pic online. She uses undercover momma though any tank can work.

https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PA6SNXHxL0s/UFsyHZcI5qI/AAAAAAAAB7I/ra6IuZWdC98/s320/Undercover.jpg

 

[Marie000]

Oh, thanks for the picture.
For some reason, I thought I should pull down or button down my shirt and pull my tank top over my breast. The other way around does make more sense.

 

[icklemonster]

Not sure if they sell them in Canada but I bought something called Breastvests in the UK. They allow you to be more discreet and are like normal vesttops, just with the boob bit already removed. I've had conversations with strangers while nursing Charlotte and they've acted surprised when after several minutes they notice I am nursing. I haven't used one for quite a while though, I'm now confident wapping my breasts out now, and don't even bother trying to be discreet anymore, especially as Charlotte pulls off every 30 seconds to have a look around leaving my boob exposed anyway . I agree it is about becoming confident though, so trying to feed around strangers sounds a great idea x