Anxiety, depression or normal?

[tiredmumma]

I have spoken to my GP and I was given a card to a self-help website. I admit, I haven't watched any of the videos. I don't know if I am in denial that anything is wrong or I just don't see how it will help.

Since I became a mum in 2011 I think I've changed. I was unwell and induced early. I went on to loose a lot of blood and had to stay in hospital. My daughter was small and struggled to feed. I beat myself up for a long time about switching to FF.

I went on to have my second daughter in 2013. Her birth was pretty normal. However, I struggled to BF her too. I was dismissed when I asked for help and told the pain was normal. I switched to FF as I was dreading her waking up and wanting to feed and I desperately wanted to enjoy the newborn phase this time. Then it was confirmed she had a significant posterior tongue tie. It was dealt with at 7 months and she could feed and her reflux cleared in days. It was too late for BF but it helped.

We decided to not have anymore children as I didn't want to risk complications and leaving my two girls behind. It's best for us financially too.

When our youngest was two she was unwell and we were told to prepare for the fact she may have cancer. Then when they couldn't identify it at our hospital she was referred to GOSH to check for rare cancers. Within weeks she had the all clear.

Then my nan died suddenly at home. She was all alone and it's a fear I have.

This year my dad went missing and when he was found he was in hospital after falling and sustaining a brain injury. He was in for almost six months recovering. I kept it quite from the children and had to visit and deal with everything in secret. He is fine now, but I felt he was in such a bad way at first than it was worse than death.

I've become paranoid about losing my kids to the point I struggle to let anyone else look after them or drive them anywhere. I work but can't leave my phone as I worry they will be hurt and I won't get the call.

At work I feel everyone hates me and that they are out to make me look bad. Other than one colleague I probably don't have any real reason to feel that way.

I can see I have developed routines, I have to check and recheck the windows are closed and the front door is locked. I worry I left the handbrake off or didn't lock the car.

I'm tired all the time, I have weeks where I have really painful headaches.

If I make plans to go out I have a good time but I have to force myself to go because I worry about my weight, how I look in my clothes and panic that whoever I am seeing doesn't actually want me to go.

Is this normal? If I go to the GP will they send me away and think I am wasting their time?

 

[Babybump87]

Oh hun I am sorry to read your post . You’ve had a lot to deal with past few years .

I’m glad your daughter is ok and I am not surprised you worry! I am a bit like you I worry about dying alone . I also worry about something happening to my girls which causes me great anxiety attacks .

Could it be more of an anxiety issue and ocd ? Maybe some medication and CBT therapy would help . I would defiantly go and see your GP sooner rather than later especially if your not sleeping and headaches . This usually makes you feel worse anyway! . I worried for weeks about going to mine but they were so lovely and helpful !

Don’t worry about them sending you away or wasting their time! I’m sure they would encourage you to go and see them . Good luck hun hope you feel more at ease soon xx

 

[Wobbles]

The self-help website ... I think you need to look through. Is it also for self-referral for therapy?

If the website is anything like Parabl which is my local self help and referral website (https://www.parabl.org.uk/english/) then please take a look.

First steps are talking and you have started that

I suffer from anxiety, in the past severely. I still check doors, windows, check again, turn the car round in case I left the iron on etc but not as much. Talking, support and believe it or not exercise has really changed my life x