Anxiety in children....

[KellyC75]

My Son has just turned 10 & has always been an anxious child, worrying about various things....
Itd now causing issues at school, as he has the 'sick' feeling & so it takes me a long time to get him into school....once there he is fine
Tje school are speaking to the SENCO....but id love to hear from anyone with any experience of this please, just looking for support & ideas really

 

[Noelle610]

Hi hun! I had a severe anxiety disorder as a kid that presented itself similarly. I was around 8 years old, so similar ages as well. Counseling really helped.

 

[KellyC75]

Hi hun! I had a severe anxiety disorder as a kid that presented itself similarly. I was around 8 years old, so similar ages as well. Counseling really helped.

Thank you so much for replying. Do you know what causes it?
Also, when I ask him whats worrying him, he cant really say (although due to us moving to australia & back again within a year, he is behind in school work, which i know worries him & the school are working hard on)
Anything else you can tell me id be so greatful, ive bought him a book 'what to do when you worry too much' a childs guide to anxiety
I often wonder if its because i didnt leave him enough when he was little, as he always had sepration anxiety....would never play in his room alone!

 

[Noelle610]

Hi hun! I had a severe anxiety disorder as a kid that presented itself similarly. I was around 8 years old, so similar ages as well. Counseling really helped.

Thank you so much for replying. Do you know what causes it?
Also, when I ask him whats worrying him, he cant really say (although due to us moving to australia & back again within a year, he is behind in school work, which i know worries him & the school are working hard on)
Anything else you can tell me id be so greatful, ive bought him a book 'what to do when you worry too much' a childs guide to anxiety
I often wonder if its because i didnt leave him enough when he was little, as he always had sepration anxiety....would never play in his room alone!

I honestly think it's mostly a chemical imbalance. There can be life events that bring it about, but I think usually you're pre-disopositioned to having an anxiety disorder.

The book sounds great. The fact that you're aware and not judging his anxiety is key. I don't think you've done anything to cause the anxiety, truly!

In general, anxiety can be pretty irrational. It's tempting to say, "Don't worry, you KNOW a flying snake isn't going to eat you", but it doesn't help - the person with anxiety knows their fear is irrational and they're keenly aware of their disorder, but they can't reason it away.

It would be helpful if there was something that helped him when he was anxious. Mantras and relaxation techniques are great, and really simple. Even a kid can master them! This should help:

https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/treatment/relaxation

 

[KellyC75]

This is great...thank you again. I have book marked that website.
I wonder if its inherited, im a real worrier, worry about everything! Give myself terrible tension headaches from it!
Mayby that site can help us both ;0)
My Boy worrys about irrational things, such as a shark in the bath to something happening to me or his dad, or even worrying over us splitting up :0(

 

[Noelle610]

This is great...thank you again. I have book marked that website.
I wonder if its inherited, im a real worrier, worry about everything! Give myself terrible tension headaches from it!
Mayby that site can help us both ;0)
My Boy worrys about irrational things, such as a shark in the bath to something happening to me or his dad, or even worrying over us splitting up :0(

It's possible! My mom has an anxiety disorder as well - it's pretty common and I do think there's a genetic component.

Your son's fears sound much like pretty classic anxiety. It often shows itself as obsessive thinking over things that are unlikely to happen.

I hope you both find some relief soon! It's certainly not easy to deal with. Having anxiety is hard and supporting someone with anxiety is hard, because you feel helpless sometimes

 

[KellyC75]

So glad you replied to my post...its really helped
A few years back he became obsessed with germs and handwashing...so much so he gave himself excema on his hands, i had to buy cream & special soap!!
He now goes to the toilet lots (i took him for a urine test, but that was clear) im not sure why he is doing it & he cant explain it either, i ask if much wee comes out & he brushes it off, says its just normal amount (which it really cant be)
Im hopeful the counselling will help...thanks again

 

[Noelle610]

Good luck hun!

 

[seoj]

I also have a little anxiety myself- more so over social situations, although I'm a very social person- if I say or do something I *might* feel isn't ok or could be taken wrong, I tend to play it over in my mind again and again- like what I could have done different etc... and let those types of things get under my skin. I think some people just naturaly tend to be more anxious about things. A lot of it is just who we are when we are born- like our temperment. I'm a people pleaser- so that plays into it for sure. My SD also was diagnosed with seperation axiety as a child- not the typical toddler stuff, but more severe due to things her bio-mom put her through as a young child-- but with counseling, and support and attention she has really outgrown most of it. Although it's something she'll carry with her the rest of her life- she is very well adjusted and self assured and such an amazing young woman- she just turned 16 on Friday and we are so proud of her But as a child- it was very tough for her to control, as most kids don't have self control when they are little- it's something they learn in time-- so we went to counseling with her too to find tools to help us deal with her anxiety as well. It was very helpful. It's just about finding the right counselor... which can be trial and error. I do think it was was THE biggest help with my SD though. I've been her parent (full time) since she was 9yrs- and I've seen the progress just in that time... it's amazing.

One thing I did with my SD when she was younger and needed it more- was I allowed her 15mins before bedtime to vocalize her fears. We talked, or I just listened... then I had her do something to distract herself before heading off to bed. Whether that was read or watch a little TV or snuggle with us... whatever she needed. It didn't always help- but usually it did. If we allowed her too- she could have gone on forever about her "fears" or worries- but letting her get it out, and feeling heard and supported helped. But we also had to set a limit or it was too exhausting for all of us... even a timer that would ding and tell her time was up. It was kinda like mind reset for her- and us!

IDK- hope some of that helps.