Anxious about birth after previous miscarriage.

[Alidh]

I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant and this is the first time I've been pregnant since I had a miscarriage back in 2011.

Before having my miscarriage, I had been experiencing a lot of bad abdominal pains for months and was back and forth at the doctors for various tests. It had been discussed in appointments that endometriosis was a possibility and my doctor referred me for a laparoscopy to check for this, however, the referral was rejected by the hospital. The day I found out it was rejected was also the day I found out I was pregnant! Whilst pregnant my abdominal pains cleared up completely.

A month or so later, at just over 9 weeks pregnant, I went to the hospital with severe stomach cramps and bleeding and found I was likely having a miscarriage. The days that followed this was the worst pain I've ever experienced. I literally couldn't walk for days because the pain in my lower abdomen was so severe. I had extremely heavy bleeding for about a week or so, to the point it would soak through pads/my pjs/towels/bed sheets and my mum had to change these things at least once, sometimes twice, a day. The severe pain lasted for about 5 days, but I was still in reasonable pain for another 1.5 weeks or so.

It was honestly the most pain I've ever experienced in my life, and it went on for so long after the the baby was lost. I'm just getting so worried if the experience was this bad at 9 weeks, what is it going to be like delivering a baby at 40 weeks? I'm worried that there's an underlying health condition that made the miscarriage worse. I've been back to the doctors again in the past year or so because I was still experiencing abdominal pain during/after sex, but I just went through the same set of tests that showed nothing. I'm really worried there's something wrong that they've not found that'll cause problems when I give birth.

Has anyone experienced a miscarriage as bad as this then went on to have another baby? And if so, how did it go?

Any sharing of similar experiences would be much appreciated.

 

[lilesMom]

I don't hve the same experience hon
But just wanted to say firstly hugs xxx
U will do great
Its natural to hve fears especially when u already had that bad experience

Secondly, drugs
U hve all kinds of options for birth that u don't get for mc
With my mcs I was afraid to take anything
In case they turned out that id stay pregnant
But with with birth, there is relatively safe pain management u can hve
Plus with birth u get your baby as the best reward ever
With mc, your just left with sadness for your pain xxx
Hugs

You will do just great hon.
Its 100% normal to worry how u will cope with birth
But if u feel like its causing u too much anxiety and worry
Then maybe tell your dr

Bear in mind hormones exaggerate our feelings too at times
Making things seem worse than they are.
Best of luck to u hon xxx

 

[Lucasmum]

Although the pain will be bad it's a different type of pain i that makes sense? This time at the end of the pain you will have your beautiful little baby just focus on that and there are plenty of pain relief options

My last Mc I was very similar to you the pain was nothing like what I felt before to at one point during the night I took whatever I could lay my hands on before passing out probably with pain and a combination of pain killers (also don't advise or condone this).

It will honestly be different don't let this worry blight your enjoyment at being pregnant

 

[loeylo]

I had three very similar miscarriages, all of which resulted in symptoms like those you described. My labour was obviously painful, but no worse than my miscarriages. It is more manageable because there is a positive outcome!

 

[callierichey]

Alidh, I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like it was extremely painful emotionally and physically. Your fear of the future is understandable.

I don't know that I can say anything that will make it better. I do want to tell you that I am praying for you. Also, try to do as much as you can to keep from stressing about this baby. The more stress you put on yourself, the more stress you put on your little one.

Congratulations on your upcoming sweet one and please know that there are people out here that sympathize and are here for you.

 

[floridamomma]

I had 3 births (2 induced last one natural). I went on to have 6 miscarriages after my last birth. The pain was bad with miscarriages but the emotional pain is what makes it worse. You know the outcome so it makes it terrible. Labor to give birth is different. You know that on the other end. And although I didn't there are so many types of pain meds out now. Epidural, laughing gas, tens unit, many hospitals will let you try different techniques like birthing balls, on all fours many things.

 

[Alidh]

Thanks for the replies everyone

I'm probably worrying too much for nothing, it's good to talk about it here though as when I've tried to discuss it with my partner he just tells me 'it'll be fine', and he's probably right, but that doesn't stop me from being terrified.

You are all right though, at the end of this I'll have an amazing little baby which will make anything worth it!