Anybody pregnant after a stillbirth?

[30pkfr]

I lost my firstborn son kody at 34 weeks, i gave birth to him the 7th of august and im currently 6 weeks 5 days pregnant with my second, i am TERRIFIED of getting far on and im so worried if it happens again im not strong enough to get through that im really not, i already love this second baby a lot and find my self asking the baby to be ok :/ im so scared but this is something i need to help my grieving process of my son is anybody else pregnant after a stillbirh and how do you cope ? Thanks xx

 

[tinymumma]

What you're feeling is completely normal, angel xox
I lost my daughter, Alesana at almost 19 weeks. She was my first also.
Becoming pregnant again is most definitely a scary and daunting experience. You're constantly worrying, you ache for constant reassurance and just wish you could fast forward those 9 months and just skip to having your gorgeous little baby in your arms, alive and well.
The ladies on here are all extremely supportive! Have you been and done any tests or scans yet? xo
As for the coping, I do the same as you. Every time I use the bathroom, I give my belly a rub and tell my little sea monkey how proud their mummy is that they're holding on. Although I'm still awfully early, this is my third pregnancy so I have a bit of a belly (technically a bloat but you can't even tell ) My hands just tend to naturally rest there now. I find myself absent mindedly rubbing my belly through the day. I believe that no matter how silly you feel, or the looks you may get, bub can feel your vibes and they will know how much you love them and will want to stick around to meet you!
Best of luck and wishing you a happy and healthy nine months
If you ever need someone to pm, my inbox is always open

 

[30pkfr]

Hi sorry for your loss,awe that is really nice and who cares what people think ey haha, well i went for a scan today and instead of being 7 weeks ive been put back to 5 weeks, we seen a heart beat but there are two sacs and two babys and only one heartbeat! We dont yet know if this is because im so early or because one has miscarried:/ we will be sent for another scan in a couple of weeks, have you been for a scan yet? And did they find a reason you lost your daughter ? Happy and healthy pregnancy to both of us !!! Xxxxxx

 

[patch2006uk]

My second son was stillborn last Feb, and I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant. I was pregnant again 4 months after my stillbirth. It's been hard, and I've been hormonal, tired and much more anxious which is making me irritable. I've been concentrating on just getting through each day as it comes. Some days are hard, others aren't too bad. Once I started feeling movement with this LO, I relaxed a little, as at least I have an external reassurance that they are still alive in there.

I've asked for this baby to be ok, too - silent prayers to keep us both safe. My son is 3 now, so his understanding is much better than it was during my last pregnancy. I've told him that hopefully this baby will come home and live with us once it's born. It breaks my heart that I don't want to get him too excited, in case things go wrong again.

It's not easy to go through another pregnancy, but I am more glad to be worried about a pregnancy than worrying about a potential pregnancy - about maybe having TTC struggles or that kind of thing - if that makes any sense?

I don't think I'll relax until this baby is delivered safely (my son died during labour, so there's no 'safe' gestation for me to get past). Hope the next few months treat you kindly

 

[tinymumma]

Hi sorry for your loss,awe that is really nice and who cares what people think ey haha, well i went for a scan today and instead of being 7 weeks ive been put back to 5 weeks, we seen a heart beat but there are two sacs and two babys and only one heartbeat! We dont yet know if this is because im so early or because one has miscarried:/ we will be sent for another scan in a couple of weeks, have you been for a scan yet? And did they find a reason you lost your daughter ? Happy and healthy pregnancy to both of us !!! Xxxxxx

Oooooh, I can't wait for my first scan! I haven't even gotten my bloods done yet. It's been really hard to get an appointment (the Australian heath care system has gone a little bit wobbly since the new prime minister has been in power )
I wouldn't worry about the two sacks darling. I've never heard of being able to hear or see the heartbeat at 5 weeks, so luck you! The other one might have just been in the way, or just not quite detectable yet
I had no medical attention whatsoever with my daughter, during pregnancy and afterwards. I was extremely young and felt like I would be judged or they just wouldn't help me :/ When I have told doctors, their usual response is "Oh well, it was the best thing to happen to you. Use contraception next time and you won't be in this position". They're lovely, aren't they?
Keep us updated darling xoxox

 

[Lulle]

My best friend lost her son in Trisomy 18 (he only lived for two days). She got pregnant again just a couple of months after he died, and didn't tell anyone she was expecing until she was six months pregnant (I could never pull off that one, as I get pretty huge after 12 weeks or so).

Anyway... She was never really happy during the pregnancy. She never dared to. Took one day at the time, literally, and when I told her that everything would be fine this time, she would give me an uncommitted "well - let's just see about that".

She didn't buy anything either.

I understand her completely. If I'm Lucky enough to get pregnant again, and keep it for more than six weeks, I will be the most paranoid person in the world. In Norway there are 3 per thousand stillbirths each year. 3 per thousand!! If I'm THAT unlucky already - why the hell shouldn't I experience something similiar - or even worse?

I've had two MC's after my stillbirth, and I've been like "oh - well", because I'm so GLAD I lost them at six weeks and not late in the pregnancy.

Yes - I'll definetely be a trainwreck if I ever get pregnant again

 

[modified]

I don't have any advice having never been in your situation but I didn't want to read and run

I just wanted to let you know that I'm my mum's rainbow after losing my brother at 36 weeks - she said "my" pregnancy wasn't easy emotionally but she had plenty of support and guidance and watchful eyes from the team of professionals looking out for her. Hopefully the same will happen for you. She took it one day at a time. On the bad days, she took it an hour at a time. Anything to get through another day, week, month.

Lots of for you!

 

[30pkfr]

Thankypu for all ypur comments! Too see people have had a successful pregnancy after a stillbirth it reassures me! I am going to take it one day at a time and just hope for the best.
Sinse my son died i have been thinking if i had a miscarrage my son would have a little angel brother or sister in heaven to play with, and i can only think if one has died my son got a little company while i still get my hopeully rainbow baby?

Plus i really am hoping its just meant to be as we avoided getting pregnant, i got pregnant twice! And i am due the 16th sept, which is the date i was due with kody, it freaks me out but the midwife thinks its meant to be,

As for an update the scan people sent a scan report through to my midwife and shes more to the side that the baby miscarried rather then we couldnt see the heartbeat yet, as the sac looks like its collapsing

Im upset its like all at ones i was told theres two oh no one hasnt got a heartbeat i just dont know what to expect

Thanks for all your replies! You ladies are my rock hha. X

 

[patch2006uk]

My best friend lost her son in Trisomy 18 (he only lived for two days). She got pregnant again just a couple of months after he died, and didn't tell anyone she was expecing until she was six months pregnant (I could never pull off that one, as I get pretty huge after 12 weeks or so).

Anyway... She was never really happy during the pregnancy. She never dared to. Took one day at the time, literally, and when I told her that everything would be fine this time, she would give me an uncommitted "well - let's just see about that".

She didn't buy anything either.

That's quite similar to how we're being this time around. We didn't tell anyone until we'd had the anomaly scan at 19 weeks. If people mention about things being fine this time, my response is generally just that I'm keeping my fingers firmly crossed and we'll wait and see. Fortunately, we've got all the baby stuff from my eldest, so we don't need to buy anything except a pack of baby grows, but I really don't want to be buying them until the day before I go to be induced. If we didn't already have the stuff, I'd probably be sending my husband out for them after the birth while I was still in the hospital!

I trust that this baby will be ok, but I know there are no 100% guarantees with anything. I barely dare to hope that we'll get to bring this one home. I think it's quite a normal response after a stillbirth, when you think in terms of protecting yourself emotionally from another loss.