Anyone concerned previous birth cause of issues?

[Jennifer01]

There is a good chance I don't know what I'm talking about, and I'm pretty new to posting so bear with me pls! I had my child 17 years ago (not trying) but had a traumatic birth-delivered 3 months early due to preeclampsia, emergency c-section and so on. Because it was so easy that time-and because I haven't even had a second of thinking I was pg since, is there anything that could have happened that would affect current fertility? I am just looking for any personal experience, something you've read, a friend with the same thing maybe? I have my first fs appointment this month, which I think is causing me to invent all kinds of scenarios out of anxiety
My husband has had a good SA, so it's not him...
Thanks for any insight you can share!
Ps I don't mean to offend/upset anyone with anything, just giving a voice to the hamsters running around in my brain!

 

[Cookie dough]

Hi Jennifer,

A lot can change in 17 years and unfortunately for us women our fertility decreases with age! Very occasionally scarring can be a problem but to be honest it could be a number of different things - or nothing at all - that is causing you problems. Your FS will be able to run some tests and check for any issues.

Good luck.

 

[Jennifer01]

Thanks for your reply! I let my mind go crazy with this stuff! My regular doctor had blood test, pelvic/abdominal ultrasound and husbands SA done and everything appears to be fine...so I guess I'm just grasping for some reason, that way maybe it can be fixed? This sucks!

 

[Cookie dough]

Thanks for your reply! I let my mind go crazy with this stuff! My regular doctor had blood test, pelvic/abdominal ultrasound and husbands SA done and everything appears to be fine...so I guess I'm just grasping for some reason, that way maybe it can be fixed? This sucks!

I couldn't agree more!

 

[magicvw]

I don't know hun - I know I am always trying to pin the blame on SOMETHING somewhere though! But I fear that just plain old getting older is a big culprit Let us know what the FS says anyway.

 

[Jennifer01]

Thanks for listening...it's the first time I'm actually excited to see a doctor!!

 

[Jennifer01]

I am going to reply very honestly, because I have found that people on this forum are very open minded and can handle it
Part of me so much wants to say that's crap about my mind not letting me get pregnant...HOWEVER this is something I have actually considered, even if not out loud. But less to do with the "trauma" of my birth experience-it was soooo long ago now-and more to do with being worried about a number of other things. If my teenaged child will be negatively affected, if I can handle the physical/emotional stress of pregnancy and parenting all over again, etc. I think I genuinely am ready, and it will be great if it happens but I do think sometimes that those little worries in the back of my mind are having a negative effect But surely no one is positive and confidant all the time??

 

[magicvw]

No of course they are not. Personally I would call BS on the "your mind stops you getting pregnant" idea. If that were true, we wouldn't need contraception and no one would get pregnant before they were ready. As it is, this forum is full of people like me who are 1000% ready and yet we are still waiting waiting and waiting.

 

[Jennifer01]

Magic, I agree. There are MANY examples of people not ready for pregnancy that get pregnant (ugh it's pretty annoying!). I know my first (and only) was not planned(but obviously very loved). I think I am just willing at this point to explore-even if I'm not buying into-any means within my reach. I have also read a lot lately about certain crystals, alt medicine etc. While my type of brain/personality does not really lend itself to that, I think I'm at the "what the heck" stage. And my main focus is still on medical intervention, as my first appt is on Thursday, and I truly feel that something is not right...we will see!

 

[magicvw]

Good luck! I re-read my last post and sorry if I sounded a bit aggressive there, russeldavis!

Actually I do wish that these, shall we say, "non-standard" theories had some truth in them. I like my science with cold hard facts, but I am a romantic and I really wish one day someone would step forward with proof of stuff - ghosts/previous lives/think yourself pregnant etc.

How's this for you - We were ttc no.1 for 10 months, and I fell pregnant the cycle after visiting a huge stone monument which is shaped like a big willy and is supposed to have fertility powers. We thought that was ace, and while not believing it as such, we both had a little feeling that it might have worked. After ttc no.2 for 18 months, we went back there, and guess what, the next cycle I was pregnant I was almost convinced. After about 17 months of ttc no.3 we made a deliberate trip back there, thinking that it was not going to happen without a visit lol, and guess what? Nada. Nothing. BFN. Which was of course very disappointing and also a reality check - a coincidence is a coincidence after all. What would be REALLY weird is if nobody who ever visited a fertility site ever got pregnant. That would defy the statistics. As is it, the chances are that some people will visit and then get preggo.

Anyway, obviously you are not talking about fertility monuments but something else. I would be VERY interested to read about the research you mentioned. Please do supply some links.

 

[magicvw]

Thanks - lots to read there lol!

But a quick question - I'm not depressed, I didn't have traumatic previous births (I had a planned C section due to breech baby and an VBAC which was fantastic (although I won't deny it tickled a bit ), I'm not overweight, I'm not underweight I don't drink more than 2 cups of Nescafe a day, I don't smoke, I actually prefer "healthy" food to junk, my 2 kids are wonderful and healthy, we have a nice house with 2 cats , DH and I have been together for 18 years and we don't have relationship problems (other than the usual about washing up etc).

Do you think I can "think myself pregnant?"

We've been ttc 20 months now, sometimes charting, sometimes not, always in with a chance never getting anywhere close.

 

[magicvw]

My coffee habit is a joke - I drink nescafe with about 1/2 teaspoon of granules and a mug full of water, and I have it at 11am! I'm sure coffee is bad for some but most people consider my "coffee" to be a mug of hot water

May be my problem is learning to relax. Relaxation is something I can't do. I don't have any time to relax usually, but on the rare occasions that I do have time, I don't. Even if I watch TV I tend to be working at the same time.

 

[magicvw]

First you have to convince me that relaxation is useful. I don't relax because I hate doing nothing. You're right I have a mind that never switches off. My DH bought me a massage as a present once and I lay thinking "come on, hurry up I have stuff to do!!!" Waste of money! I have 1000 things I want to do and no time in a lifetime to do them all, and I keep getting new ideas too (DH & I run our own business and I also have a website sideline). I relax by reading I suppose, but even then I tend to read books which require thought (I'm reading "The Ancestor's Tale by Richard Dawkins) and I hate books which are trivial. I know some people do like to relax, but just sitting there doing nothing annoys me!

However, if someone said that spending x minutes a day focussing/visualising or whatnot will make me pregnant, I will do it! How many minutes do I have to do and can I set my alarm so I don't overrun?

PS as for the breathing - I do those exercises to get to sleep and they work brilliantly! I have no problem sleeping but sometimes the kids wake me up and I get an adrenalin rush when they cry, which makes it hard to get back to sleep. So I do deep breaths and woosh I'm gone.

One thing I do do, is play music. I wonder if this counts as relaxation? (*is already trying to find an excuse to get out of it *) I play the piano and sometimes manage to practice/play for an hour or so - I'm not a bad player and I get myself in the "zone" as the airy-fairies call it. Does that count? Or do I really have to sit down and do nothing/nada/zilch?

Will it work from now (ov day) or should I start at the beginning of the next cycle (if there is one?)

 

[Jennifer01]

On the flip side, I dedicate huge chunks of time to relaxing
I get a lot of time to myself and I read, take long baths, go for walks, watch movies, on and on. So relaxation alone must notbe the trick lol

 

[magicvw]

lol! Damn it! It must be exactly the *right* amount of relaxation that does it! lol! How long have you been trying Jennifer?

 

[Jennifer01]

We have been ttc 2 years, ntnp between 2-3 years. I had my first fs appt today and to be honest...kinda had a meltdown!! Not really so sure I want to take that route anymore. I'd like to visit that weiner statue you mentioned tho
Unless I misread it seems like you have young kids-mine is almost finished high school, hence the free time lol. I was a young mom first time around. It will be fun to experience all that with actual support, money, home etc!
Also, playing music DEFINATELY counts as relaxation!

 

[Crystal5483]

What did your FS say Jennifer?

 

[Jennifer01]

Hi crystal,
She just talked to me about my husbands SA(which is great) and laid out this plan for all the test I would be doing to try to figure out the problem. For someone who is uncomfortable (at best) at the doctors it was very overwhelming. Lots of blood test (every day at some points) hsg, endometrial biopsy, etc etc. I don't know what I expected lol obviously this had to be done! After talking to my oh we decided to try natural a few more times before completing testing, it just stresses me out so much I really need some time to wrap my head around it!

 

[Jennifer01]

Hi crystal,
She just talked to me about my husbands SA(which is great) and laid out this plan for all the test I would be doing to try to figure out the problem. For someone who is uncomfortable (at best) at the doctors it was very overwhelming. Lots of blood test (every day at some points) hsg, endometrial biopsy, etc etc. I don't know what I expected lol obviously this had to be done! After talking to my oh we decided to try natural a few more times before completing testing, it just stresses me out so much I really need some time to wrap my head around it!

 

[magicvw]