Anyone else struggling with how their body looks?

[Breeelizabeth]

Argh. I got stretchmarks when I hit puberty but they've all since faded away to white and you can't notice them. The last few weeks I've noticed them popping up everywhere even though the only weight I'm gaining is on my belly. My little brothers (who have autism and don't quite understand) constantly tell me they look ugly. My boobs have just turned weird and uneven and I'm constantly miserable about how I look.

Who else is struggling to embrace their pregnant bodies? Please tell me once baby is here my body will go back to normal!?!

 

[kmpssbl]

OMG yes! I have always been tiny and petite my entire life (I'm 5'3" and have rarely weighed over 100lbs). People have always hated on me for it. It was fun when the little bump arrived, but then the third trimester came and I began to feel the most uncomfortable I've ever felt. My mom asked me 2 weeks ago how I feel about the way I look and I said "I hate it." I know I should be thankful and happy about being able to get pregnant and carry this baby, but it's just hard going from what I was to what I am now. I like the whole aspect of being pregnant, but it's hard to accept what that baby does to you. My whole family and everyone I know says I will go straight back to being the tiny little person I was after she's here, but I am having doubts. I guess it's just something all us women just have to deal with and accept! What's really hard is that I bought these super cute knee-high boots and I can't wear them until the swelling in my feet and legs go down At least I have a pair of mid-calf slouchy boots I can still squeeze on. I just love boots lol!

 

[Dobsd]

I wouldn't say I hate how I look but I'm finding it difficult to adjust. I'm 5'10" and naturally slim, have always been one of these people who can eat anything and not gain weight and I've alway taken care of my body and kept in shape.
My boobs have grown from a small B cup to a large D cup and as a result have stretch marks and I've not started getting a couple of stretch marks under my belly on the bottom of my bump.
Everybody is saying they will fade pretty quickly but it is still upsetting to see.

Something that has actually really helped me, I saw an article about supermodel Lara Stone. She had a baby a year ago and she did a nude shoot recently that wasn't photoshopped or anything, to show how her body looks post-baby. She has stretchmarks on her boobs, chunky thighs, a few rolls on her belly. Was so nice and refreshing to see someone in the public eye being honest about these things. I'll see if I can find the article...

 

[Dobsd]

I wouldn't say I hate how I look but I'm finding it difficult to adjust. I'm 5'10" and naturally slim, have always been one of these people who can eat anything and not gain weight and I've alway taken care of my body and kept in shape.
My boobs have grown from a small B cup to a large D cup and as a result have stretch marks and I've not started getting a couple of stretch marks under my belly on the bottom of my bump.
Everybody is saying they will fade pretty quickly but it is still upsetting to see.

Something that has actually really helped me, I saw an article about supermodel Lara Stone. She had a baby a year ago and she did a nude shoot recently that wasn't photoshopped or anything, to show how her body looks post-baby. She has stretchmarks on her boobs, chunky thighs, a few rolls on her belly. Was so nice and refreshing to see someone in the public eye being honest about these things. I'll see if I can find the article...

Here it is... https://www.independent.co.uk/life-...body-in-photoshopfree-photoshoot-9861171.html

 

[Baby2012]

Hi ladies, I wouldn't say I hate it but I totally understand what you mean, so at least you know you're not alone.

Loved that link, just want I needed X

 

[Captain]

I'm struggling to cope with the amount of stretch marks on my belly! I thought a couple of weeks a go that it couldn't get much worse and it has! I keep telling myself that they'll all fade eventually but it's still horrible having to see them every day!

 

[Mummy to be x]

I have a ton of stretch marks this pregnancy, had hardly any in my first pregnancy.

I have them ALL the way down my legs, stomach, hips, everywhere! They look awful and I've stopped checking them out in the mirror now because it just makes me feel down.

you are not alone x

 

[Pix]

I hated how I looked with the first pregnancy. I ended up with so many stretch marks. A lot of held on weight and overall unhealthy.

But know what? It goes away and it gets better. The second pregnancy I was more relaxed about it.

The stretch marks fade. You can tone with exercise and get healthy again with diet. Know now how beautiful you are to be carrying a baby.

This time I look at my old stretch marks and realized I can name each one with each baby. I have a small new one from this baby and know what? I'm so proud his presence is now a beautiful tattoo that I'll always carry.

The biggest lesson I learned was my perspective on myself. I sat in front of a mirror and stared for a long time truly understanding how I felt about each mark. Each dimple. And each patch of cellulite. If I found it truly did bother me I changed it. But right now I love each of those things.

 

[ambertwogood]

I hated how I looked with the first pregnancy. I ended up with so many stretch marks. A lot of held on weight and overall unhealthy.

But know what? It goes away and it gets better. The second pregnancy I was more relaxed about it.

The stretch marks fade. You can tone with exercise and get healthy again with diet. Know now how beautiful you are to be carrying a baby.

This time I look at my old stretch marks and realized I can name each one with each baby. I have a small new one from this baby and know what? I'm so proud his presence is now a beautiful tattoo that I'll always carry.

The biggest lesson I learned was my perspective on myself. I sat in front of a mirror and stared for a long time truly understanding how I felt about each mark. Each dimple. And each patch of cellulite. If I found it truly did bother me I changed it. But right now I love each of those things.

Thats really great that you were able to come to such a healthy outlook on your post pregnancy body but I think that your outlook and advice is great advice for any woman in general regardless of pre or post baby. Thanks for the words of wisdom.

Also, I was wondering at what time in each of you guys pregnancies did you truly begin to notice stretchmarks and the like, like around what month? Just curious....

 

[Breeelizabeth]

Thanks ladies! Pix I sincerely hope I can have your positive view post pregnancy!

Ambertwogood - I had one which I got at 30 weeks and then in the last few days I've been getting plenty more.

 

[Nina83]

This is such an important thread! But the title needs to be changed.

I've always had body issues and eating disorders, and I absolutely hate how my body looks. I don't have stretch marks, but I hate what I see in the mirror.
It does help that my DH tells me that it's MY body that is growing our LO, and that I know my body is changing because of this amazing life inside, but it's still hard to accept most days.
I think that I'm most worried about my body afterwards, and my eating disorders coming back.

Thank you for the Lara Stone link. She looks like a real woman!

I also wanted to share the 4th bodies project. I really hope I can learn to love and accept my mama body afterwards.

 

[Carly.C]

I didn't get any stretch marks 1st pregnancy and so far none this time either but I bloody hate not being in control of how I look. I'm only 5'2" and have the most enormous sized ball in front of me that has now started to get pitiful glances from strangers. I'm also oiling day in day out in order to avoid the dreaded stretch marks but I can't help but feel it's only a matter of time before they make an appearance! I can't wait to feel normal again!

 

[Breeelizabeth]

Nina I'll change the title, and perhaps we can all use it as a support thread for days when we're feeling bleh. Thanks for sharing that too!!

Personally, and I know it's silly, but I can't help but feel these stretch marks and the changes that are happening elsewhere on my body will prevent me from ever finding someone special because they'll find me unattractive and I've basically condemned myself to the life of crazy cat lady at age 19.

 

[Dobsd]

Nina I'll change the title, and perhaps we can all use it as a support thread for days when we're feeling bleh. Thanks for sharing that too!!

Personally, and I know it's silly, but I can't help but feel these stretch marks and the changes that are happening elsewhere on my body will prevent me from ever finding someone special because they'll find me unattractive and I've basically condemned myself to the life of crazy cat lady at age 19.

You say crazy cat lady like its a bad thing?! Haha... I'm 27 and a crazy cat lady, I was lucky and found myself a crazy cat guy
I think at the age of 19 I would've been more worried about the changes my body is going through but you realise as you get older that those things don't matter so much. You'll find someone who loves you no matter what you look like. I know that sounds like a big old cliche, but it's true! Would you not want to be with a guy because he had a few scars or stretchmarks? Of course not! Some guys are like that I guess, but they are the ones you stay away from. The guy that you'll find is the one that looks at your kid, looks at your stretch marks and says "wow, you grew that!", then snuggles up with you on the sofa, covered in cats!

 

[Nina83]

Nina I'll change the title, and perhaps we can all use it as a support thread for days when we're feeling bleh. Thanks for sharing that too!!

Personally, and I know it's silly, but I can't help but feel these stretch marks and the changes that are happening elsewhere on my body will prevent me from ever finding someone special because they'll find me unattractive and I've basically condemned myself to the life of crazy cat lady at age 19.

I didn't mean that in a bad way! More like, we shouldn't say we hate our bodies, even just the looks of them right now because they are doing something AMAZING!
I try to remind myself that when I look in the mirror. I might just finally understand that when I have her in my arms though.
Don't worry about stretch marks being the barrier between you and that someone special. I think us women take our looks way too seriously sometimes, in the end everyone does just want to be loved and held, doesn't matter what goes on under our clothes, be it stretch marks, scars, freckles, pale skin, way too much hair and the list goes on...
I know it's easier said than done, but it's true!

I am definitely relying on some kind of group after the baby is born to help me like my body again. Be it through sports, art or just baby yoga.

 

[skyesmom]

Personally, and I know it's silly, but I can't help but feel these stretch marks and the changes that are happening elsewhere on my body will prevent me from ever finding someone special because they'll find me unattractive and I've basically condemned myself to the life of crazy cat lady at age 19.

ladies, you are all troopers here.

it is tough to cope with such extreme changes, even if you are lucky to get to return to your "old" self afterwards. having no control over proper body is always a challenge, moreover when it doesn't meet the criteria our media label as beautiful.

and breelizabeth, don't sign yourself off like that. your body is way more than the stretchmarks it bears, and you are way more than your body, and finding someone truly special means that that person should accept you as you are FULLY, instead of just taking bits and pieces they like.

you are still so very young and there is still so much time ahead of you. and by the way, men age and their bodies change too with time without them growing babies (just they have way less spotlights pointed on beer bellies and sagging balls and gray hair), and that is also ok and is accepted.

btw, speaking of cat ladies, when you look at those stretchmarks remember you're a tiger who has earned those stripes like a trooper.

 

[RandaPanda]

It is hard to see the changes. I don't mind the GIANT bump I have, and have been lucky to avoid stretch marks so far (but they do run in my family, and I have a few on my outer thighs from puberty that have faded - but actually, so does my DH from a major growth spurt as a teen, so we match!)

The thing that I really struggle with is my veins...I don't even like to mention it, so posting about it is a bit awkward, but since other people are opening up, I will too I've had some spider and varicose veins on my upper legs for quite a few years now, and they make me miserable...I won't wear shorts EVER anymore and the same goes for bathing suits in public or short dresses and skirts I plan to have surgery on them once I'm done having children, but until then, I knew pregnancy would make them worse, and it has (although not quite as bad as I had imagined). I can't stand them, but my husband is the sweetest man in the world, and will kiss my leg right where my worst one is. He tells me that I'm beautiful, legs included. And he very wisely pointed out that these are the veins that support my body and our growing baby, and although I don't like their appearance, they're still doing exactly what they need to be doing.

OP, I know there are guys out there who are superficial and would focus on such unimportant things as a few marks on a woman's body, but as PPs said, there are a lot more good men who honestly don't even notice such trivial things about the women they love, and you'll have that too - don't worry about that

 

[Hippiemomlife]

I'm feeling a bit better after reading these posts I've had weight issues pretty much my entire life and I've always been a bit bigger; very active, on sports teams, etc. but I've never been a small girl. I honestly didn't feel bad about myself throughout this pregnancy until a few days ago when I got some maternity pictures done... I looked at them and just started crying because I looked so huge and I didn't realise how much weight I've put on. I posted the photos for my family to see, and everyone was commenting how beautiful I looked, which made me feel so much better. However my sister commented on how "wide" I look, especially my legs, and my dad said the same thing.... It kind of hurts coming from your family, even if they don't mean it... I do love the pictures, but I feel so uncomfortable sharing them now.

 

[Nina83]

I'm feeling a bit better after reading these posts I've had weight issues pretty much my entire life and I've always been a bit bigger; very active, on sports teams, etc. but I've never been a small girl. I honestly didn't feel bad about myself throughout this pregnancy until a few days ago when I got some maternity pictures done... I looked at them and just started crying because I looked so huge and I didn't realise how much weight I've put on. I posted the photos for my family to see, and everyone was commenting how beautiful I looked, which made me feel so much better. However my sister commented on how "wide" I look, especially my legs, and my dad said the same thing.... It kind of hurts coming from your family, even if they don't mean it... I do love the pictures, but I feel so uncomfortable sharing them now.

I didn't do maternity pictures because I'm not comfortable with how my body feels to me. DH really pushed but I just couldn't. I did talk to a photographer though and she told me most women bring up that concern, and advised me not to look at the pictures until after the baby was born. Which was really good advice, but like I said, I didn't get them in the end.
Coming from family does hurt the most, but I guess they feel like they can tell the "truth" because they're so close.
My Mom said my arms look bigger and since then that's all I can see. Huge sausage arms :/ I know she didn't mean it in a bad or hurtful way, but it still stings.

 

[Underduck]

I feel gigantic I'm trying to eat well but it's very difficult because I eat as a coping mechanism. But the reason I need a coping mechanism is because I have become so large. What a cycle

My man keeps reminding me that it's because I'm pregnant and tells me all of the time that I'm not fat, but I have that little monster voice in my head that tells me otherwise. Sigh.

I've never been a small woman but have always managed to stay in the "average" weight category. Now I just feel big.

Having a bit of a pity party. I'm sorry