Anyone else want to punch christmas in the face?

[red_head]

Over three years, no baby.

I feel like an idiot putting my christmas decorations up. They are now up, but I want to take them all down, knock back all the mulled wine in the WORLD and hibernate.
Christmas is embarrassing without children. Who can I blame for my distasteful decorations and overdose of glitter? A child makes it lovely and happy, and not at all tacky, but I've put up decorations which no one is going to see, as I'm avoiding all my friends as they've popped (or are soon to pop) out sprogletts left, right and centre, and I'm sitting here with f*cking fairy lights trying to give me a seizure while I try not to sob. I want a christmas where I can put my screaming baby in horrible costume baby grows, watch them open presents I've been considerably overcharged for, and freak them out about an old dude breaking into the house at night.
You need babies at christmas! Christmas makes me want a million of them, and I can't even get one. Any everyone knows you need children at christmas, that's why they are all over the telly, and everywhere and argh, I may actually just steal one (kidding! probably.). It's no fun. And I'm willing to bet santa is going to ignore my one single wish this year too (can you guess what it might be???!

So yeah, christmas can do one.
Really, seriously though, this is the most depressing time of the year.

 

[WishnandHopn]

I hear you on every word of this. My husband is really into Christmas but I just want to skip it. We started TTC right around last Christmas so the one year milestone is looming. If I hadn't lost our bean I would have been entering my third trimester on Christmas Day. It just sucks.

I hope Santa brings us both the one thing we really want!

 

[MKaykes]

The holidays definitely are hard when all you want is a baby to snuggle with. I'm feeling the same way, but can't even bring myself to put up decorations.

 

[broodymrs]

I remember feeling the same way. The Christmas before I conceived it felt like someone was missing. I had a chemical on Christmas Eve and I was a mess. So I got completely hammered, can't even tell you how much prosecco I put away! Ate loads and tried to make the best of it. I did then find out in Jan I was pregnant with my little boy. So sorry you're going through this

 

[Sheece]

I understand this completely!

I'm kind of doing the opposite though. I had a m/c in April and was due right around christmas. Plus it makes the 1 year mark that we started trying, so I'm trying to be all about the decorations to try to distract myself as much as possible!

That said, my 3 nephews at christmas time sure make me feel sad we don't have our own yet.

I hope santa doesn't ignore your wish this year x

 

[red_head]

Sorry we're all feeling crap; glad I'm not the only one though! I don't know why I put the decorations up; I was excited and then as soon as we got them out the attic I was a mess!
We had one miscarriage when we first started trying; it started (or I realised) at a nine inch nails concert, and so that ruined their music for me for ages; I really feel for those of you that lost at Christmas; if it's hurting me I can't imagine what it's like for you. Well hopefully santa will bring us all baby dust this year!

 

[sarah2211]

I completely feel this. I'm not a big Christmas celebrator anyway. But we always thought we'd have our little one by Christmas. Or at the very least be pregnant by now. Anyone else want to keep a tally of how many times we get asked when we are having a baby this Christmas and New Years?

 

[sarah2211]

Here's a video about surviving infertility over Christmas time by the fertility support group on my country https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1918284565066745&id=1400392570189283

Sorry about the poor quality but I thought some of it might be helpful.

 

[red_head]

Thank you, that video's really helpful! And I know what you mean about everyone asking about when you're going to have one! I'm really upfront now and just say we're trying, but it's not happening! My granddad is horrendous about it; he knows we're having trouble but still asks every time why I'm not pregnant! We had to be discharged from the fertility clinic for a year as I got really ill (unrelated) and are now back on the waiting list; he knows all this but interrogates me about it anyway! people just don't get it, unless they've been through it. And then even if they have been through it, sometimes they think this means they have the right to give you tips and ask for all the details!

 

[WishnandHopn]

Thanks for that video Sarah. Good tips for surviving the holidays. We are purposefully skipping a family get together with DH's extended family next weekend. He has a gaggle of nosy aunts, and one of his cousins will be bringing their 6 month old. They announced their pregnancy at the last family Christmas party so I bet they will be hoping/expecting an announcement from us. So glad to be dodging that bullet!

 

[pjmm]

So grateful for this thread right now! DH and I hit 1 year of trying last month. We've been married for 3 years so we're at that point where we're ALWAYS being asked that question by everyone...wish I could be open and tell everyone "WE ARE TRYING BUT HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO CONCEIVE!" We went shopping for some of our nieces and nephews earlier today and DH wanted to buy a pair of baby sneakers "to save them for whenever it happens." I almost broke down crying at the store. I hate this time of the year. I remember thinking last Christmas that we'd have a baby by this holiday season...and here we are...just the two of us still...we're all in this together!

 

[MissN8]

I love Christmas but every year it really makes you sad when you don't have your baby yet. I don't even want to go to my Christmas do this year. It really is a time for children. Babydust to you all that Santa brings the best gift of happiness! Let's just get drunk and be merry cause you never know what's around the corner. .......

 

[VivaLaMrs]

This entire post could have been written by myself!

My husband and I have been TTC for over a year and every doctor I go to, tells me to wait it out. I am not even ovulating! I always hear, "You're young, it will be okay." I am 25 - I should be ovulating!!

I had one menstrual cycle all year so far! Every one around is me is having a baby, announcing a baby, or just popped. It's really hard to feel congratulatory to others when your in this boat.

I know people who are in NO PLACE to have a child, nor have the mental capacity to be an adult - and they are pregnant or just about to pop!

I love Christmas, but some mornings - I want to kick down my Christmas tree.