anyone else...

[gemabee]

ok with bein single nd pregnant... or single nd a mum?
obviously its not how i planned things... but i've kind of got used to the idea that i'm gonna be doin this by myself... nd appreciate the fact that i'm gonna be number 1 in my lo's life.
as much as fob treated me like sh*t... i've just stopped carin bout him to the point i have no hard feelings towards him... if he wants to see his lo... i'll let him... he's the dad after all nd at the end of the day its best for my son that he has a relationship with his dad.
i just cba bein bitter!!

 

[Neferet]

I'm ok with being a single mummy too. Me and FOB were never actually together, so I've known from the day I found out I was pregnant that it'd just be me and LO. To be honest, I'd hate to not be a single mummy because being single means I can make all the decisions regarding Isaac (his name, how I bring him up etc.) without having to make a joint decision with anyone. I can do everything my way and I'm so proud of it. =]

It's great that you have no hard feelings towards him, especially if he wants a relationship with your little guy because he wont pick up on any negative vibes between you. =]

 

[Kacie]

Way to go hun!

I am actually coming around to the idea now. We only broke up a couple of weeks ago and had been together a long time (8 yrs) but I think I did most of my crying and missing him whilst I was still with him if that makes sense. Now I have left, things look a lot clearer in my life and my little girl is my absolute world!!

I have just asked a friend with a photography business if I could book in a photo session of just me and my daughter.. I think the pictures will be a good therapy to remind me that it is me and Leah against the world and we can take it on together.

So I am ok with being a single mum, I know there will be hard times and I have to say that I am only OK with it as long as I can dream that a dream man will come along one day and sweep me off my feet and little Leah too!

xx

 

[xxfluffyxx]

I cant wait until I reach a stage where I am super strong like you!!! Im unfortunatly heartbroken at the moment!! and even holding on to the hope that he may copp on grow up and be responsible! fair play to you ladies!!! an inspiration xxx

 

[gemabee]

to fluffy... just take everythin these ladies have said to help u see the positives!
ur baby = ur decisions = ur life!
it'll get to a point where u can't even remember bein with fob... nd all memories are tainted by memories of arguin nd bad times... u'll get there hun.
to neferet... i love the fact that my son will be brought up my way... nd all the pride will be mine!
nd to kacie... i love the photograph idea!!! i'm gonna get one blown up nd put on a big canvas in my front room so everyone who comes round can see it!
nd ps. i'm still hopin for my dream man too! any man who takes a woman nd her child(ren) is a good man in my book nd definately worth waitin for.
xxx

 

[emalou90]

i don't know personally..
without offending anyone (but you know what society is like these days) single mums/teenage parents etc, are all tarred with the same brush, benefit cheating, lazy people.
i never wanted to be in that category.
(ladies please dont take the above as offensive! that is the reality these days i find)

but now i'm here, and im coming around to the idea of doing this by myself, i really am warming to it.
having a home with my daughter, giving her as much as she needs, god knows she'll be loved a lot more for this.

but yea, i didnt plan it like this so being a single mum, wasnt my idea of perfect, you know?



footnote; we're all a hell of a lot stronger than most of the guys that cut and run because they're either scared or can't handle it. we couldnt ever leave our children.
we can do anything after bringing a child into the world, dont you all forget it.

 

[WhiteGeisha]

It's been 7 months since me and FOB split up and for me, it hasn't really got any easier.

We were only together a short time, but it was great when we were together. I would give anything for us to be back together and raise our daughter together.

I have tried to get him involved, but he is a control freak, and has to be in control of everything. Because we aren't together, obviously I am not going to let him control me, so we argue....I have given him 5 chances, 5 times he has let me down.

He says he wants to be there for his daughter...but to date he has not provided one thing! Not one thing! He is selfish, irresponsible and immature. Look in the dictionary for Stubborn and you'll see his picture.

I have always wanted him to be involved, but there is only so much sh*t one person can take, only so much heartache, disappointment and being let down....I have had enough of him and now he has made his bed I am sure as hell gonna make sure he takes a bleeding long lie down in it.

He will never show me any respect, he hasn't since we split up, he hasn't throughout my pregnancy, and after 5 chances I think he thinks he can do what he likes because I will give him another....well not anymore. He will respect me first....but pigs will fly before that day comes!

I think it's great you can allow him to be part of your Lo's life without any hard feelings. You're a better women than me!x

 

[Kate&Lucas]

i don't know personally..
without offending anyone (but you know what society is like these days) single mums/teenage parents etc, are all tarred with the same brush, benefit cheating, lazy people.
i never wanted to be in that category.
(ladies please dont take the above as offensive! that is the reality these days i find)

Exactly the same here! I was adamant wouldn't be a single mum, because I didn't want to be 'looked down on'. I felt lucky when I was little because my parents where still together while most of my friends' parents weren't. I hated the thought of my little boy not having that.

Now, having broken up with FOB, I can say that I LOVE being a single parent! I realise now that my parents may have been together, but they weren't happy. I want my son to grow up with a happy mummy. And as others have said, I love being the one to make the decisions regarding Lucas, I'm his mummy and I don't have to answer to anyone!

 

[Pyrrhic]

I feel fine being a single mummy actually. Surprisingly so. I think it was hard being in a relationship where you expected to be able to rely on your partner to help, and they wouldn't. I mean even getting the ex to help bath Niamh while I got dinner was a fight.

The only thing I miss is that I am still in love with my ex. I am happy being alone, I am fine with having Niamh by myself and being single. I just still love him and that's what makes it hard.

 

[Pyrrhic]

He says he wants to be there for his daughter...but to date he has not provided one thing! Not one thing! He is selfish, irresponsible and immature. Look in the dictionary for Stubborn and you'll see his picture.

I have always wanted him to be involved, but there is only so much sh*t one person can take, only so much heartache, disappointment and being let down....I have had enough of him and now he has made his bed I am sure as hell gonna make sure he takes a bleeding long lie down in it.

He will never show me any respect, he hasn't since we split up, he hasn't throughout my pregnancy, and after 5 chances I think he thinks he can do what he likes because I will give him another....well not anymore. He will respect me first....but pigs will fly before that day comes!

Do we have the same ex?!

Men

 

[hancake100]

ok with bein single nd pregnant... or single nd a mum?
obviously its not how i planned things... but i've kind of got used to the idea that i'm gonna be doin this by myself... nd appreciate the fact that i'm gonna be number 1 in my lo's life.
as much as fob treated me like sh*t... i've just stopped carin bout him to the point i have no hard feelings towards him... if he wants to see his lo... i'll let him... he's the dad after all nd at the end of the day its best for my son that he has a relationship with his dad.
i just cba bein bitter!!

I am glad you feel that way hun I cant wait to feel happy being a single mummy.

Me and oh split before I found out I was pregnant, I was worried to tell him but after the shock we worked things out and all was well. He was there through the pregnancy and the birth which was brill. But he isnt there now and we have split this week.
Thinking about it now I wish I knew this would have happend and I could have gone through the pregnancy without him as well and by the time she came along I would have been strong and got used to the idea iykwim. But now it has happend and we have been there together with her in her life so face I am hurting more than ever before. I cant wait to get to the point where I am strong and that I could care less about him

 

[Surreal]

I think I'm right there with ya, except it's more of having been in a relationship, and really not interested in getting back into any sort of relationship, at the moment. Is it bad that a part of me just wishes men would burn in hell?

So, being a single mom is pretty straight forward at this point, with no plans on getting into another relationship for a while... personally, I'm just scared of being able to handle a newborn on my own. I have no idea how to do it, and all my siblings talk about their OH's being there when they're too tired to get up at three am for feedings, or changings. ... I'm going to *have* to do what they couldn't bring themselves to do, 24/7.

Though, when I consider my ex-husband's derogatory jokes about women ("Women are only useful in the kitchen, being barefoot and pregnant." "What good are you? Your a woman..."), his ability to not take care of himself, and how he had little patience for even our *cats*(Threw them across the room, or smacked their heads against the walls, if they wouldn't stop meowing. X.x), ... I know LO is better off not having that kind of exposure. I just hope I can do it all well enough, on my own.

 

[gemabee]

it is hard gettin to the point where u don't care bout ur oh's anymore... but its awesome when it does happen
bein a single mum makes me feel frreeeeee
can do everything my way
xx

 

[whoops]

I was never with FOB so I'm used to being single.

I never wanted to be a single mum, but I'm used to the idea now. Part of me is looking forward to it - I'll have my baby, but there's still a chance I could meet someone amazing. I can look forward to meeting someone and falling in love.

It is hard going to appointments and classes etc on my own, and it will be hard when the baby is born to not be able to share this with FOB, but to be honest, I'm mostly worried about how the baby will cope if FOB doesn't get involved.

 

[LittleMadam]

I like being a single mum, tbh. Yes, I miss being in a relationship but I also don't miss the hassle. I'd love FOB to be in her life but he has chosen otherwise.

xx