Anyone had a third or fourth degree tear?

[k4th]

How did/do you feel about giving birth again?

I had a third degree tear after a natural birth with just gas & air. I waited about 3 hours for a spinal, 6 hours to go to theatre and had it repaired. Several midwives told me afterwards it was a great fix - the best they'd seen (very random to hear someone saying that whilst taking a peep lol!). I've had no issues following that birth.

Now I'm pregnant again (after two years of trying & I'm so, so grateful!) I'm finding myself getting upset about giving birth. I am only 10 weeks but I can actually cry thinking about it. I don't think I really dealt with the emotional fallout at the time.

Has anyone had a bad tear in one delivery but not in another? Does anyone know if it's likely to happen again? Is there any exercise/preperation that can help avoid tearing badly? Is anyone else feeling anxious?

 

[Sarah1508]

I had a bad tear and some grazing and tbh when I think about it it does make me feel a bit anxious about this time round :S I mean the birth was great, no complications and I coped with it a hell of a lot better then I thought I would tbh especially just on gas and air (but that's stuff was amazing ) honnestly for me I'm not as scared about the actual labour or giving birth part or even getting the stitches done after (that may change as I get closer though ) I'm more anxious about the afterwards. No one told me how helpless I would feel after giving birth... I mean I felt like an old lady or something and was terrified to sit down and things like going to the loo was just something out of a horror movie! And as scary as too a bit tmi but I was terrified to laugh, sneeze , fart haha and that first number two literally scared the sh*t outta me!

I pray that after the birth this time round I don't feel so helpless tbh it was a horrible feeling :/ but I suppose I'm more prepared this time and I'm not going into it clueless like last time round! Hope you feel better about it soon, I really think that last time may have prepared me for this time round and maybe it will be the same for you and I don't know if this is just the silliest thing for me to say but I would think and I hope that giving birth a second time your body.. More importantly you vagina will be more ready... Tmi but like less tight... idk but I hope so! Haha then hopefully won't need any stitches at all!

 

[Baby_Dreams]

I had a 3rd degree and I'm really ananxious :/

 

[k4th]

Thanks Sarah! I really hope our bodies are more prepared this time around. I think I took laxatives for about a month afterwards - I was terrified of the toilet, sitting, standing, walking, driving

I think I need to figure out what I'm scared of. The physical stuff you described isn't really making me panic. I remember all of that. I think it was the shock - I was mentally totally unprepared for the aftermath!! If nothing else I suppose I'm definitely aware of it this time around!!

Are you aiming for a natural, gas/air birth again?

 

[k4th]

I had a 3rd degree and I'm really ananxious :/

Crossed posts with you baby dreams.

My midwife actually asked at booking whether I want to opt for a section due to my third degree tear. I was a bit taken aback! A section?? It made me worry - I think I'll ask more questions when I see her next. Why would they ask about a section??

kinda glad others feel anxious too - but sorry as well iykwim?

 

[Baby_Dreams]

I don't think I would go for a section over a natural because of it. I healed well apart from the top layers of skin which didn't take at all. I guess I will talk to someone about this further along in the pregnancy x

 

[Sarah1508]

I think we are thinking the exact same then because it's the afterwards I'm scared for too and I did end up getting the baby blues afterwards and I remember it all started from the feeling of helplessness :/ just trying to stay possitive though and keeping it in my head that I've done it all before! And that I am prepared this time!

Oh yes definetly! I did from 5am to about 8 or 9pm I think it was (if Im remembering rightly) of the labor at home and ended up going into hospital when I was 6cm and then had the gas and air (which was a God send! ) then a wee bit before I actually gave birth I begged for an epidural and by the time the anethetist came through to do it I already started feeling the urge to push and told the midwife but she said for me not to say anything or they wouldn't give me the epidural so I shut up and literally sat still for the 20 minutes he was doing it and as soon as he had finished I litearrly lay back down and pushed my son out so it never actually got any time to work but I would say that it must have helped with the stitches (as well as the gas and air) because while I was getting them done I didn't feel any pain at all and was actually in fits of giggles so bad ( from the amount of gas and air I had puffed that night ) that they had to keep telling me to stop laughing and keep still

I do really regret getting it done last minute though as in the end I managed to give birth fine without it and now I've been left with a sore spot where they put it in my back so I will definetly be doing it this time just gas and air and no trying to chicken out last minute one thing that does worry me a wee bit though is if I need stitches this time (praying I dont!) that I might actually feel the pain because I think the epidural kicked in by that point last time as I didn't feel any pain I just felt tugging!
When you had your stitches did you feel much or was it just more of a tugging feeling?

 

[k4th]

I had that same last minute begging for pain relief Sarah. And I was told I was too far along & by the time pethodine/epidural kicked in dd would be born already. I think that's when I panicked & pushed like my life depended on it - I remember screaming "just get it out!". Lol - I won't ever tell dd that!! I think the panic fuelled pushing made me deliver too quickly - the midwives were telling me to stop pushing & breathe but I couldn't listen to them.

I did the whole afterbirth bit and didn't feel much. Was very numb. And then I had a spinal. My tear was fixed in theatre by surgeons and all I felt was tugging. I remember chatting to the nurse who took me down about her kids & what they did for a living. And all the while shaking uncontrollably.

I'm thinking I might go for an epidural this time. Partly to try & avoid panic pushing. And partly so I don't have to wait for three hours for an anesthetist to turn up if I do need stitches again because I'm not the emergency case that's about to give birth. I feel like I really missed out on enjoying those first few hours with dd because so much other stuff was going on.

Baby dreams - I'm definitely going to have a much longer talk with the midwives this time around!!

 

[Sarah1508]

Mine and your births are starting to sound a bit similar haha well the way we where thinking at least! As while I was pushing the midwife said "I can see his head" and relief just filled through me and then she goes "oh no wait it's gone back in..." To which I responded with actually pushing in between contractions when I wasn't supposed to and after one loooong ass push he literally came out all together (everyone was shocked as usually head comes then shoulders then last push and done if that makes sense) but with me I was so pannicked and determined that he wouldn't "go back in " again that I just did it in one big push and I honnestly believe that that is why I tore and had grazing and I was actually told by the midwife that I probably wouldn't have needed stitches if he hadn't come out alltogether and so quickly in the end.... ooopsie

Maybe we should just both do as we are told this time round and try relax and not panic push last second! Then maybe there will be no need for stitches! Haha

 

[k4th]

Maybe we should just both do as we are told this time round and try relax and not panic push last second! Then maybe there will be no need for stitches! Haha

I'm not very good at doing what I'm told!!! I think you're probably right though. I should write "do as you're told" in red pen across my birth plan!!

 

[Sarah1508]

Omg hahaha yes! I need to do that too maybe write it on my hand in block capitals too!

 

[Eleanor ace]

Congratulations on your pregnancy .
I had a bad tear with my 1st (3rd/4th). It healed well- like you OP I was told that the surgeon did a really good repair job (good to know ). I had tests at 6 months pp to test inner sphincter function and to assess the internal damage, all of which came back good so I was confident going for another vaginal delivery. My consultant encouraged me to consider a c-section but was ultimately supportive of my decision to try a vaginal delivery and said that as long as my MW helped me to push slowly to allow my scar tissue to stretch my chances of tearing badly weren't too high. I was also given other recommendations, obvious things really which anyone is encouraged to do (active labour to get LO into a good position, no epidural so I could feel if there was resistance when pushing) and was also told that delivering in water could help with stretching. With my 2nd I got everything I hoped for- water birth, active labour, no big tear . I had small 1st and 2nd degree tears which didn't require stitching and a very good recovery. The tearing with my 1st was mostly down to his position as he came out with his and up by his head. My 2nd was in pretty much the same position just with her shoulder stuck up rather than her forearm so I could have expected to tear badly again but I do believe that her being my 2nd delivery helped a lot- the muscles have been stretched before and stretch a lot easier the 2nd time around.

 

[k4th]

Thank you Eleanor!! Good to hear it doesn't have to be the same second time around. Interesting that you were advised not to have an epidural - I'll talk to my midwife about that.

I wanted a water birth first time but hated having a bath so my midwife suggested I might not like the tub. Thing is, my labour was all in my front, so lying on my back in the bath really, really hurt. And my bump stuck out of the water so it didn't help at all I might reconsider the water birth though if it might help with tearing - thanks!

 

[Sarah1508]

A water birth was actually in my birthing plan last time and was something I was really keen on but during labour my whole birthing plan went out the window! I am actually desperate to have a water birth this time and glad to hear it may help with tearing! Oh also to k4th I'm sure you would be allowed on your hands and knees in the birthing pool? I'm sure I've seen women do it like that and actually give birth in the pool not on their backs but squatting or hands and knees , I'm pretty sure you are allowed to do whatever position you want that helps! I would look into it! I know I will be!

 

[k4th]

A water birth was actually in my birthing plan last time and was something I was really keen on but during labour my whole birthing plan went out the window! I am actually desperate to have a water birth this time and glad to hear it may help with tearing! Oh also to k4th I'm sure you would be allowed on your hands and knees in the birthing pool? I'm sure I've seen women do it like that and actually give birth in the pool not on their backs but squatting or hands and knees , I'm pretty sure you are allowed to do whatever position you want that helps! I would look into it! I know I will be!

I think you're right. Problem last time was I couldn't do that in an actual bath so they said I might not like a proper water birth pool. On reflection it was all about position - but I couldn't explain that at the time. I just agreed and went very happily & quickly back to my gas & air lifeline (which didn't reach the bathroom!!).

 

[Eleanor ace]

Yeah the no-epidural was the biggest thing my consultant recommended to avoid another bad tear!
I really wanted a water birth with my 1st but he passed meconium and I had to have constant monitoring, both of which ruled a water birth out . At the start of my labour I had a bath, it felt good but also made the contractions more painful. Wit my 2nd the birth pool felt different to a bath, probably because I could get into a position which felt good. Being on my back in the bath was really sore (both of mine were back to back) but sitting in the birthing pool or kneeling with my arms over the side felt really good . If you fancy trying a water birth you could always give it a go and just get out if you don't like it. For me it felt reeeeeeally good, just lounging about with the gas and air, it was like being at a (painful) spa .

 

[d_b]

I had a 2nd degree tear with #1 but several layers of stitches (worst part of my delivery by far). Stitches burst open and fell out pretty much right away and it healed open and took ages to feel normal again. I was scared for #2 and read about a thousand 2nd birth stories and most people had a lot less tearing with #2. And I ended up needing only 2 stitches for #2 which was awesome! Especially since the actual birth had no sort of slow and controlled pushing, he basically just flew out. Hoping for no stitches on #3!

 

[k4th]

d_b - Two stitches sounds like the kind of birth I'd LOVE!! What pain relief did you opt for with both (if you don't mind me asking?).

 

[Baby_Dreams]

d_b mine healed open too. Only the bottom layers that healed normal x

 

[d_b]

d_b - Two stitches sounds like the kind of birth I'd LOVE!! What pain relief did you opt for with both (if you don't mind me asking?).

They gave me some sort of numbing shot before the stitches after #1 (which didn't seem to do much) and nothing with #2. I didn't have anything during labour or birth but both were fast (6 hours for #1 and 2 hours for #2).

I tried my hardest to not push and 'breathe the baby down' for #1 because my hypnobirth book said this would prevent tearing. Easier said than done, my body was pushing during contractions whether I wanted to or not! It still took at least an hour to push/breathe him out though so it was somewhat controlled.