Anyone have any encouraging words? Advice?

[NoraK]

Hi ladies!

Didn't think I'd ever end up doing this but I've been ttc for a while now and I'm in need of some supportive words... so hoping you guys can help out

Husband and I have been trying since July 2014 and still nothing. We havent gone down the testing route yet but I'm getting closer as I'm finding it harder to stay positive.

We are both in our early 30s and trying for our first. He is an ex smoker. We both drink (I stopped drinking then after months of no luck I decided that when I get a positive I'll stop but until then I'll live a little!) I think we're both generally fit and healthy.

Been taking conception supplements (the wellman and pregnacare range). Tried preseed and conceive plus.

Anyone have any advice or just encouraging words you can throw my way?

This will be our first.

 

[Lues]

I feel your pain.

My husband had wanted to start trying MANY years ago and I kept saying... not yet. Then when I finally said, okay, let's do it!, it took almost 3 years to get pregnant. Ugh. I felt like such an ass. It's a very emotional roller coaster of a ride.

BUT my strongest advice is to go to a specialist. Get things checked out. It sounded SO scary to me. It made me feel like I was admitting there was a big problem and I thought it would make me feel MORE overwhelmed.

It was the opposite.

If you find a good office, they'll work WITH you. And there are SO many small things you can do before having to do anything "major". When I thought of a "fertility specialist" I thought of big procedures and strong medications, neither of which i was comfortable with. I didn't want to "do anything that extreme yet".

But it's not like that. there could be something super simple you could do, or a combination of small things that could make ALL the difference.

There is no need to do anything you aren't comfortable with. My office suggested a medication I didn't want to take. I saw why they thought it might help, but I didn't want to take it (yet... I probably would have eventually). And with their help, I was able to get pregnant without it.

Plus, going to a specialist made me feel good. I felt like I was taking steps. I had a plan! I was back in control (to some extent).

I feel your pain. I feel your frustration. And I HIGHLY suggest at least going and having a consult with a good specialist in your area. (you can usually find). You can always decide not to do anything further.

It wasn't the scary ominous thing it seemed to me like it would be. For the sake of my sanity, I wish I had done it sooner.

(side note: Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about drinking while TTC. Maybe in a perfect world, maybe you'd stop drinking and be preggo a month later. But reality is different than that. I drank moderately even in the TWW the month I got my BFP. After a while, you realize that it's much healthier to try to maintain as normal a life as possible. Then when you DO get your BFP, you go from there! ... and you will!)

Good luck to you! It will happen. There is absolutely no reason to believe that it won't.

 

[NoraK]

Thanks for replying to my message. I think my husband needs a bit more convincing about a specialist, but once it reaches a year I'll work on him!!!

Plus thanks for not making me feel bad about drinking. I don't do it much anyway, but like you say, I'm trying to live as normally as possible, and not put my life on hold while we wait to be blessed with pregnancy.

 

[Autumnflower]

I didn't want to read and run, my dh and I started ttc last August and I still can't believe we will soon be approaching the year mark as well! It wasn't really until I joined this forum that I realized how common it is to have a hard time ttc. It sounds like you are treating ttc very level headed and realistic. I tried not drinking (I'm only an occasional drinker) during the ttc process and I found the stress of watching constantly what I would eat or drink was stressing me out big time. It would be so disappointing with a bfn because then you were so careful and it didn't even matter. I decided I would just try to live as normally as possible and when I get a bfp is when I'll change my lifestyle.

I agree with lues, see a specialist once you hit a year, it may just be small things you can do to help. I'll be seeing a specialist in a cpl months if no bfp.

Baby dust to all!

 

[NoraK]

It's a relief to hear I'm not the only one. Sounds like we're in a similar position. Maybe we need to chill out and just let it happen... but seeing a specialist after the year mark is the way forward.

Thanks for the reply... and good luck... hope you get your wish!!

 

[Autumnflower]

Thanks you as well! Baby dust your way!