Applying for full custody

[JA1988]

I am currently about 8 weeks pregnant, FOB has already decided he wants absolutely NOTHING to do with his child and obviously we are no longer together. He says he will pay but other than that he doesn't EVER want to see his baby. He wants to sign over his rights asap so before the baby is born as he has said he is not changing his mind. Without going into too much detail, given his previous immature and cold behaviour and given his current attitude, I don't believe that he would have any kind of positive influence in his child's life anyway, even if he did want to get involved (which he absolutely doesn't). So does anyone know if there is some kind of documentation he can sign before the birth to sign full custody over to me and so that he cannot just pop back into the child's life a few years down the line when he 'feels like it'.

Any help or advice would be appreciated...I just need pointing in the right direction in terms of legal advice.

 

[Ju_bubbs]

if his name is not put on the birth certificate, he has no more rights than any other man walking down the street anyway.. tho he will obviously be able to go to court to try and get parental responsibilty in the future with dna proof provided, i'm not sure theres anything else that can be done, especially before bubs is born anyway

 

[lynne192]

this would only be a problem if he wanted to be involved and you didn't want him to be, there is little you need to do other than get him to set up payments to you and thats about it like above if he's not on the birth cert there is little he can do without providing DNA proof first which i doubt he'll do.

 

[scottishgal89]

sorry but what a low life he sounds. wanting to sign his rights over before baby is even here- sounds like a great guy
if i were you i wouldnt even accept his money if he is acting like that. cut yourself off from him completely
he has no rights if not on birth cert but like the others said if he changes his mind down the line then he can go to court, prove hes the dad and get put on it.
its early days for you yet and you need to just try and relax and ignore him, prioritise you and your lo and concentrate on the future.
we're here anytime you need to talk or rant or ask questions.
a lot of us know how tough it can be to go threw pregnancy alone.
do you have a supportive family and friends?

 

[Laura2919]

If his name is not on the birth certificate then he has no rights but you can go to a solicitor and have a contract drawn up where he signs over any right until the child is old enough to go and make contact itself!
My friend done this and told her daughter that her dad wanted nothing to do with her but she gave her the option to find him or just pretend he dont exist and whatever happened she would support her decision!
He clearly doesnt deserve this child if thats how he is acting anyway! A real man would never give up on his child

 

[JA1988]

Thanks for everyone's replies...

I think I am going to go arrange to see a family solicitor or at least go down to Citizen's Advice as I want to get this sorted out asap so that I know where I stand and then I can concentrate on me and LO and cut off all contact with the poor excuse for a man. I don't want him to be able to swan back in months/years later as that won't be fair on my child and also FOB is a terrible role model given his attitude and his heartless behaviour.
Thanks Laura2919, I think I will have a look into what you've suggested, I want documentation to state that he is signing away his rights and then it will just be up to my child to contact him if he/she wishes to do so in the future. I won't keep him a secret from my child but I don't want him to change his mind 2 years down the line for example and go through the courts to try and gain access. If this is what he is deciding before the baby is even born then he should live with his decision. He wants to sign away his choice so it will just be left up to my child to have the choice later on. I think this is the best way as I don't want the stress of constantly wondering whether he is going to just change his mind and go to the courts.

I really don't know what is wrong with some men. Better off without them most of the time! xxx