Are you feeling better now?

[c beary83]

I'm back at work now and it's all I seem to hear. Everybody was told it was a medical reason so they're only being kind but it's just a constant reminder.

Yes I'm feeling much better now

Real answer: no I'm not better. I never will be better and you asking has just reminded me.

 

[InTheVerse]

I'm back at work now and it's all I seem to hear. Everybody was told it was a medical reason so they're only being kind but it's just a constant reminder.

Yes I'm feeling much better now

Real answer: no I'm not better. I never will be better and you asking has just reminded me.

I'm so sorry for your loss c beary83.

People say the most insensitive things.

Do you have good support around you?

I can could on well over two hands how many people have asked me if I'm over it yet, to which I've been brutally honest and told them that no I'm not and I'll never be over it.

I had the 'are you better nows'. I answered with 'as much as I can be but thank you for asking', which seemed to make people back off.

I'm at my 'Due date' and finding it so very hard. I have to admit until this last month I haven't felt as low as I do. I was just very obsessed with trying to conceive again.

I do think things trigger you though and once they do it bring it all back. What they are saying is an upsetting trigger, if they are friends saying it that I would tell them how you feel and ask them to use'how are you,' which is more generic and used in greetings anyway.

 

[c beary83]

Hi in the verse.

Thanks for replying and I am sorry for your loss

I can understand how you must be feeling coming up to your due date.

I think unless you've been through it people don't understand. I'm just having a moan really as the people at work don't know the reason I was off so they are just genuinely asking. I think it's awful asking if you're over it though when the people knew. It's not something you'll ever get over.

I'm sorry you having problems ttc. We were trying for a year and a half with no sign of a then two losses

Life is so unfair sometimes.

I hope you get your rainbow soon xxx

 

[InTheVerse]

Hi in the verse.

Thanks for replying and I am sorry for your loss

I can understand how you must be feeling coming up to your due date.

I think unless you've been through it people don't understand. I'm just having a moan really as the people at work don't know the reason I was off so they are just genuinely asking. I think it's awful asking if you're over it though when the people knew. It's not something you'll ever get over.

I'm sorry you having problems ttc. We were trying for a year and a half with no sign of a then two losses

Life is so unfair sometimes.

I hope you get your rainbow soon xxx

You are right unless someone's been through it then they just can't understand.

It is very hard at work, you want to keep from showing anythign even though you are breaking inside. People do mean well, but I remembr gettign asked if I was better and what was wrong and you just freeze up.

The toilets can be a great friend to have a cry in if it gets overwhelming. It's hard because you want to keep everything separate and be professional but when you are grieving it just doesn't happen and unlike any other bereavement where people might realise because you might talk of the person dying, or the funeral or the special leave you may take...miscarriage is really different. It's a hidden loss, but it is a bereavement and you grieve.

I'm so sorry that you lost two babies, it's so very shit and unfair. A year and a half of trying before that as well, I really feel for you.

I really hope you get your Rainbow baby too

Does your line manager or occupational health know? Are they being supportive?

 

[winterbabies3]

I am sorry to hear you are having a hard time! I have had 7 losses and it still feels like part of me is missing. I think about the babies often! It takes time but know that baby would have been very sick if things would have progressed. That's the only thing the helps me. Xx

 

[LoraLoo]

Lots of love Beary- it's nice that your collegues are caring. I think- even when people do know what's happened- when they ask 'are you ok now'- the answer they are wanting is 'yes' - people really hate to talk about miscarriage, stillbirth etc xx

 

[mrsmax]

So sorry a week on from my D&c and I know there is a lot more grieving to come. I am back at work tomorrow and am terrified. No idea how I will cope.

 

[c beary83]

Hope work was OK mrsmax xxx

 

[mrsmax]

Was pretty crap tbh, but everyone was super tractful and just said welcome back etc. Onlky a couple of people said glad I'm better but they didn't know why I was off. The whole mc thing has made me rethink my full-time work schedule... Need to spend more time with thge porecioius chilkd i already have.