Are your family helping to pay for your wedding?

[missk1989]

Im sure my Dad would be happy to chip in but he recently gave me £2k towards my university fees so i feel bad asking him for more money even though he has been saving that money for years and my sisters have had an equal amount. Originally we were having a really cheap wedding which i was confident we could pay for much of it ourselves but now we have changed venue to make things less complicated and its a fair bit more. My OH is really set on it and says that his family will happily put £2k towards it and its not unreasonable to ask my family to do the same. Is it unreasonable? I dont know whether its just me and my serious dislike for asking for money?

 

[kmbabycrazy]

I have to say I think it is unreasonable to ask for it, but perhaps not to ask if they would like to.
Our families are helping us pay for ours but we didn't ask for any of it, all of it was offered to us. I feel like if you can't afford that wedding then it isn't for you. When we found out the price of our venue though it's a great deal we didn't think we could afford it. My dad had said he would pay for the venue but I wasn't really willing to let him pay that much for it but he said if it was really what we wanted then he would pay. He then has suprised us by paying for other things like the photographer and dj but I have compromised by paying the deposits. But those extra bits are things we were planning on paying for ourselves and had the money to.

OH did ask his parents if they wanted to help with anything but said that we weren't asking for anything we just wanted to know so we could arrange everything and his dad is paying for the suits. I think if you are going to ask it would be better to approach it in a way that assures them they shouldn't feel at all bad if they want to say no x

 

[DonnaBallona]

honestly, no they aren't/haven't. We get married a week today and I'm chuffed to say that we've paid all of it ourselves. I took on an evening job and saved every penny of my wages to get it paid. x

 

[Snow Owl]

I don't think they are as this is second time around for me.

But I don't think it's right to ask on the logic of his parents are. I'm in agreement that only do what you can afford.

We've planned ours based on what we can save

 

[maryp0ppins]

yes I think its very unreasonable to ASK them to pay towards it just because your oh's family are. If they offer then thats another story.

my parents are giving us a out £3000 to put towards our wedding,oh's family have not offered anything and thats fine,everyones financial situation is different.

 

[lozzy21]

Yes but not to the amount your talking about. His mum is giving up around £600, his dad is paying for the flower girl dresses and accsesories. My mam is doing my invites and my flowers. His aunt has paid for our cake and another aunt is paying for our train tickets for our honeymoon

However I think it's rude to ask or expect them to pay.

 

[Mummy May]

Yeah I think its rude to ask too, but if they offer its a different story. OH's family have given us a LOT, some weve used towards wedding, some for honeymoon but my family haven't given us anything - they simply cannot afford to xx

 

[emyandpotato]

I didn't ask, I was like "so... what are we gonna do? Am I paying for everything? I'm happy to but I need to know so I can set a budget", basically. Because my dad isn't badly off and had always hinted at helping towards a wedding, and he paid for my sister's, so I asked. But if he'd said no, I would have been secretly disappointed but left it at that. I wouldn't let my parents pay anything more than they could easily afford though. My cousin got her parents to take out a loan! That makes me feel sick. So yeah, my dad paid for the venue (about £3k all in). I'm paying for everything else.

ETA: Oh and MIL is paying for the photographer which is about £300.

 

[Kizzy454]

My fil is saying he is giving us £500 but u can never be sure with him. My mum is paying for the church but thats our wedding present from her xx

 

[Lollip0p]

my mum is buying my wedding dress (but not sure of budget yet)
we are paying the rest by ourslves

 

[katherinegrey]

It is rude to ask, yes, especially if he's already given you so much towards uni fee's. DH's family paid for our venue, so about 2k, but they offered, I wouldn't have dreamed of going to my family and demanding the same sum from them, my family helped a little where they could, and that was fine, honestly, I think you should prepare to pay for it all yourselves and if your family offer, then that's an added bonus.

 

[FirstBean]

I would never ask anyone to pay for it. My parents have offered to pay for my dress, bridesmaids dresses and my band. Mil has offered to help but not give a figure so we are just paying for everything else and what every mil gives will be a bonus to us.

 

[readytoplan]

We have been offered money from my OH's parents and my Mum, its looking like around £1000 each, I haven't spoke to my Dad yet about the plans (my parents are divorced) so when i do I will see if he offers to put the same amount in, if he doesnt he doesnt its not the end of the world. £3000 will be a massive help to us though..

I agree though it would be rude to ASK but a small hint can do no harm :/ x