As usual....

[purpledahlia]

FOB said he wud put money into my acc today to pay me back for the bouncer etc that he was gonna buy but then let me down and didnt...

well im not surprised to report theres no money in my acc.

I dont know why i keep giving him chances...

 

[honey08]

awful

 

[expecting09]

Seems like he's giving you false hope, first the cot fiasco, now this

How many more times is he gonna say something then not go along with it? Is he still planning on coming up once you've had Ava?

He needs a bloody good kick up the backside!

 

[teal]

It's horrible how much he keeps letting you and Ava down.

Sending you hugs xx

 

[purpledahlia]

well since i feel like ranting, heres a list of times hes said he will do something and not..

1. made me make a doc appt because he didnt believe it was too late to have an abortion, so he wanted to speak to my doctor. Told him it was a waste of time id made my mind up but made an appt anyways, He didnt make it and i rang him from the appt and he spoke to doc on the phone, he acctually asked how far i was like he didnt believe me, and asked why ''could i not just take the pill'' and ''could the doc not just wait for him to get there in 15 mins'' ... er its a doc appt not a bloody friendly meeting!

2. told me he would meet up to talk i think the week later, didnt show. text me never to speak to him again or try to contact him.

3.got back in touch at about 19weeks i think it was.. said would meet when i got back from canada on holiday.stayed in touch about 2 weeks then was silent for a further 3.

4. arranged to meet up, he didnt show.

5. told him i was leaving london in 3 weeks and had 2 weeks free house sitting for the boss and could meet him to chat then.... He arranges to meet/pop over twice, neither times he did.

6. arranged to meet but instead went out and got drunk, then text at 10pm to pop over then.. i had said yes at 6 but was by 10 going to bed. -bearing in mind it wasnt my house and i was working!

7. i left london, he said he would come up, he didnt get in touch for another few weeks

8. arranged for him to come up 4 weeks in advance, he then didnt get in touch after 3 weeks and of course, didnt come up.

9. the cot fiasco

10. said he would come up again, didnt.

11. said he would order the bouncer and a steriliser set - totaled about £80, he didnt. i used money i have saved for a flat deposit.

12. said he would re-imburse me and money in by today... its not.

i dont know if he will come up, he originally was talking about coming up for the birth (because i can really plan it eh) but has since realised he cant its too unpredictable, and that he will come up newyear/jan time. am i gonna hold my breath ??? no. by now i hope he doesnt come.

He said he will open a bank acc for her and save.. as opposed to maintenence. do i trust him to do this? hell no. (anyways found out he cant open her an acc, wud have to be my acc for her he pays into-least that way i could check he is!)

ARSE

 

[surprisebaby]

what a long list of not turning up and letting you down.....

I think I can see why you don't want to put him on the birth certificate. I think I am starting to think the same way. If my fob ever comes round I don't know how giving I can become about access after being treated so badly (me and unborn baby). Why can't your fob just make up his mind and stick to it? must b so frustrating going to bank and again seeing that he hasn't put it in... maybe he is really bad with money. I don't know. but when it's your child you would think he would try harder. I suppose at least he contacts and tries a little bit.

 

[purpledahlia]

also, while im ranting, he told me i should go to london in jan to let his mum meet Ava and that he hates Caitlyn as a middle name and i should use Téagan as its 'irish' and he likes it, im so fed up with him. when he disappears for weeks he claims his phone AND internet are off/blocked/not working, he doesnt even have a contract its pay as you go!!! im so fed up with him. i just want him to go away now, hes causing more stress than its worth!

 

[purpledahlia]

yea i do wish he would just make his mind up and stick to it. whatever that decision is!

its the constant letting down and lies.. empty promises.. if hes like this now and not done one thing hes said.. he will prob not get much better.. how can i let him near Ava when he will ultimately do the same to her? or is that something i should just step back and let her learn for herself????

 

[KaeRit21]

hun im sorry to hear hes let you down again, i know its not easy to just walk away and so we give out more chances, but at the end of the day hes walking in and out of your life and hes going to do the same with ava. i wouldnt let him.

he needs a bloody good kick up the arse, your both better off without him at all...dont let him do this to you any more hun, its not worth it.

stay strong and keep ur head up and remember that what we accept for ourselves, we wont accept for our little ones. she doesnt need him and neither do u

hun. its him thats missing out, believe me, but if it was me, i'd be drawing a line, you've put up with more than enough now...and gave him enough chances

xxx

 

[Welshcob]

Did he not pay for the cot then? I think I missed that, but it seems not! Honestly he really is messing you around. But you are in a much better place now, back at home..you have got stronger and stronger and I think that you will just let his let downs wash right over you! You and Ava, keep moving ahead. Its up to him if hes going to pull his finger out and be a father! Hugs

 

[purpledahlia]

No he said he would send money or order the cot and mattress, i told him the amount and he said he would give me £15 less than what it cost, just to be difficult. And he never did anything about it, ie asking for bank details or the link to order it, then the next week the cot turned up at my door, from a friend. She bought it for us and sent it up! so i ordered the mattress and that was that. I told him a while later not to worry about the cot that someone had bought me it, and he ignored it completely. acted like i didnt even mention it!

 

[Welshcob]

What a trooper!! NOT!. I am sorry I missed that! Hey lets see what my FOB does... I am still wondering if he might offer maintenance and still annoyed that because he is a nasty bully that I am afraid of going to CSA. Thank God for friends is all I can say.. I have had a lot of help from them too! Big hug to you

 

[purpledahlia]

ps welshcob i got your PM ive just not had the time to concentrate and reply yet! but i will!

 

[purpledahlia]

so does anyone know what i should say to him? was thinking of sending him a txt tomorrow to basically say ... you've had all the chances your getting type thing??

 

[sweetlullaby]

Hmmm....with 10 days to go until your due date you could end up with him starting to harrass you if you say that he's blown his chances etc! After what i was told by lady from CAB this morning...sorry now yesterday morning I would just leave it until after Ava is born. None of us need any shit or harassment or false lies and promises and threats especially this far on in pregnancy!

Though it is up to you lol xx

 

[lou_w34]

Ahhhh youve given him enough chances now! He's prooven himself to be as reliable as the weather!

As for texting him, i wouldnt even bother, let him sit and wait and wonder heehee.

God i feel so mad for you!!!

He needs such a bloody good kick up the arse!

Hope your feeling better today!

 

[purpledahlia]

.

 

[lou_w34]

Id wait till he asks!! If he has sent money, he will check with you whether you have recieved it to make sure you got it! Id take it as a sign that he hasnt if he doesnt ask.

Sounds good to me, he cant mess ava around like he has done to you, its not fair. Id just keep the no contact up, if he really really cares he will do everything he can to talk to you.

MEN! Grrrrrr

xxx

 

[tinkabells]

Awwww he is a proper arsechump, love i really wouldnt give him anymore chances, you will get what you need from him, when ava is here and at the end of it, ava will see how you tried everything in your power but he would let you down time and time again, dont stress you or her out over him anymore

My FOB when i was pregnant he said he was gonna pay for my rent if i moved out of my parents house, i even went looking st places but then i thought no, he just wnats me in my own place him paying for it and come around when he wants and when i turned him down he didnt like it, he then never offered to buy hollie anything and i tell ya what it makes you feel that even bit better that you bought everything for her and nothing from him!!! i know it does with me xxx

 

[lauramarie]

you have given him so many chances, i agree with not texting back, don't give him the satisfaction. I know it is hard at times to stop contact with them, but he needs to grow up and face up to his responsibilities. He shouldn't be treating you like this so close to the birth. Im sure he will regret his behaviour when LO is here. I agree that if he really cares he will be the one contacting you and doing all the running, and from my experience having no contact actually makes me feel better, instead of being let down constantly. You will soon have your LO and that will be all that matters