Asked to make appointment to see reception teacher

[NickyKB]

When I collected my 4 year old from school today his teacher asked me to make an appointment to see her. Clearly I was never going to leave without finding out what about and she said it's about his 'concentration and that he often seems to have 'ants in his pants' which I'm assuming she meant restless not itchy... Anyway I'm now panicking about ADHD and various things and was just wondering if anyone has had anything similar?

A bit of background in a small group setting or if it's something he's interested in he'll listen and concentrate very well (he got a new maths app from school recently and he sat for an hour or 2 happily going through the levels) but he can have a tendency to drift into his own thoughts at times. He plays well with other children although often follows their suggestions or if he doesn't want to do what they're doing he'll go and play by himself. I think academically he's doing ok he's learning his phonics and maths well. He's never been the best listener we got his hearing tested when he was 18months or so which was fine but it's not been tested since. If I ask him what he's done at school he'll ususally tell me he doesn't know or can't remember but if I ask more specific questions eg what was the story about at carpet time he can tell me. He can take it in turns fine and although clearly he doesn't love giving his toys to other people he can share ok.

Anyway just wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and what the outcome was. I'm hoping they just want to talk about ways I can help with his concentration but it's always worrying when the teacher wants to talk to you...

Thanks

 

[familygirl30]

I've never been in the same situation as my son doesnt start school until Sept when he be 4, I would try and not worry though easier said than done I know) but he's only 4 and I'm sure he's not the only one with ants in their pants! Starting school is a big thing, and I'm guessing he only started in Sept, this age they can soon get distracted, I think sometimes such a lot is expected of them at such a young age

 

[Wannabe Mommy]

I'm 33 and after have to attend boring meeting at work, 5 mins in and I'm shifting around, yawning and zoning out.

It seems completely unrealistic to me to extend a 4 year old to sit and concentrate for any length of time if they're not engaged with the subject. It is the teachers job to engage her students and diversify her material to suit everyone in the class.

I wouldn't be worried about adhd unless he's shown a lot of other signs outside of her classroom.

https://www.parents.com/kids/development/intellectual/how-to-improve-attention-spans/

A 4 yr old would be expected to have a concentration span of between 4 and 20 mins according to the above article.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I wouldn't worry about ADHD, if your son is able to concentrate on activities which interest him for long stretches of time and you haven't had concerns about him having ADHD from his behavior at home it is extremely unlikely he has it. Its much more likely that he's a typical 4 year old boy and finds it hard to focus on an activity he hasn't initiated and which doesn't grab his attention, like a lot of children. I'm sure the teacher just wants to chat about suggestions you have for helping your LO focus, or just chat about it to make you aware

 

[SarahBear]

He just sounds like a 4 year old. I think that's too early to tell with ADHD.

 

[NickyKB]

Thanks everyone I'm going to see the teacher tomorrow so I'll see what she says. DH spoke to her briefly at pick up time and she's said she's not worried about adhd but is wondering about OT referral but I'm not really sure what for so we'll see what happens. I'm dreadful at waiting so let's hope it goes quickly!

 

[SarahBear]

Oh, I wouldn't worry about an OT referral. What sort of OT concerns does she have? Is it sensory concerns? Fine motor concerns?

 

[caz_hills]

My son has always had problems concentrating and his attention span isn't very short. I am worried about it but it seems a lot of boys but are like this at their age. I always thing as long as they are developing at the normal pace - reading, phonics etc - then they will hopefully grow out of it. My husband said his reports were always saying he needs to focus and listen more.

 

[NickyKB]

Just thought I'd come back and update. It was a bit of a strange meeting really as I'm still not totally sure if they're concerned about something specific or a collection of individual things. Anyway they're going to refer to ot as his writing isn't very neat and they're wondering if some fine motor work would help. This I understand but do also think as he's 4 and couldn't write at all before he started school it's a bit early for panicking. The other bits are the more confusing part. They also want ot to look at gross motor and core strength elements as 'he tends to sit with his legs to one side and lean on one arm at carpet time rather than legs crossed' he also prefers to stand than sit for phonics classes.

I'm going to see the optician at the weekend to get his eyes checked and have an appointment to see the gp in half term to get referred for a hearing test to see if that's why he gets distracted. Again I couldn't really get a feel for if his level of distraction is particularly worse than other 4 year olds or not. He's just been moved up to the top phonics set and the teacher said he is less focused than the rest of this set but that there are other similar kids in other sets. Academically they aren't concerned but clearly they're concerned enough to have wanted to bring it up so I'm just more confused really. Also I think the teacher could've anticipated some of my questions that she didn't know for example they're concerned he mutters at times which I think he does especially when he's not feeling confident. It was his turn at show and tell the week before the meeting so I asked if he'd muttered during that but she didn't know as she hadn't been there and hadn't found out how he'd done. Also having said they were concerned about gross motor she couldn't tell me how he was doing in football lessons...

I guess I wait and see what ot says and take it from there.

 

[familygirl30]

Just thought I'd come back and update. It was a bit of a strange meeting really as I'm still not totally sure if they're concerned about something specific or a collection of individual things. Anyway they're going to refer to ot as his writing isn't very neat and they're wondering if some fine motor work would help. This I understand but do also think as he's 4 and couldn't write at all before he started school it's a bit early for panicking. The other bits are the more confusing part. They also want ot to look at gross motor and core strength elements as 'he tends to sit with his legs to one side and lean on one arm at carpet time rather than legs crossed' he also prefers to stand than sit for phonics classes.

I'm going to see the optician at the weekend to get his eyes checked and have an appointment to see the gp in half term to get referred for a hearing test to see if that's why he gets distracted. Again I couldn't really get a feel for if his level of distraction is particularly worse than other 4 year olds or not. He's just been moved up to the top phonics set and the teacher said he is less focused than the rest of this set but that there are other similar kids in other sets. Academically they aren't concerned but clearly they're concerned enough to have wanted to bring it up so I'm just more confused really. Also I think the teacher could've anticipated some of my questions that she didn't know for example they're concerned he mutters at times which I think he does especially when he's not feeling confident. It was his turn at show and tell the week before the meeting so I asked if he'd muttered during that but she didn't know as she hadn't been there and hadn't found out how he'd done. Also having said they were concerned about gross motor she couldn't tell me how he was doing in football lessons...

I guess I wait and see what ot says and take it from there.

Glad you managed to speak to the teacher, I do think a lot is expected of such young children now! In some countries kids don't start school until later it's crazy how much they expect of a 4year old. Hope things get better for you

 

[catty]

Totally agree with familygirl my son is 3.5 but he wont start school until 5 years 2 months and until then he will not be expected to do any writing whatsoever as his nursery is completely play based unless i do some at home.
They are already bringing up untidy writing at 4! As for sitting a certain way so do i and i didnt think there was anything wrong with me!

 

[Boo44]

Have to say I find this a little strange on the schools part! My son is 4.5 and in reception and his school have an online learning journal so I can see exactly what they're up to - we get so much praise for his amazing writing and to me it looks a bit scrawly and all spelt wrong and often he forgets his spaces! But to them he's obv doing really well. I think there are children who barely write at all yet. So I don't understand how they can say your son has messy writing isn't that still great for 4 years?!

 

[jd83]

Just thought I'd come back and update. It was a bit of a strange meeting really as I'm still not totally sure if they're concerned about something specific or a collection of individual things. Anyway they're going to refer to ot as his writing isn't very neat and they're wondering if some fine motor work would help. This I understand but do also think as he's 4 and couldn't write at all before he started school it's a bit early for panicking. The other bits are the more confusing part. They also want ot to look at gross motor and core strength elements as 'he tends to sit with his legs to one side and lean on one arm at carpet time rather than legs crossed' he also prefers to stand than sit for phonics classes.

I'm going to see the optician at the weekend to get his eyes checked and have an appointment to see the gp in half term to get referred for a hearing test to see if that's why he gets distracted. Again I couldn't really get a feel for if his level of distraction is particularly worse than other 4 year olds or not. He's just been moved up to the top phonics set and the teacher said he is less focused than the rest of this set but that there are other similar kids in other sets. Academically they aren't concerned but clearly they're concerned enough to have wanted to bring it up so I'm just more confused really. Also I think the teacher could've anticipated some of my questions that she didn't know for example they're concerned he mutters at times which I think he does especially when he's not feeling confident. It was his turn at show and tell the week before the meeting so I asked if he'd muttered during that but she didn't know as she hadn't been there and hadn't found out how he'd done. Also having said they were concerned about gross motor she couldn't tell me how he was doing in football lessons...

I guess I wait and see what ot says and take it from there.

The gross motor and fine motor things are definitely something the teachers can pick up on fairly quickly if the child needs more work to develop those skills. Most of the kids in the preschool will not have had any previous experience writing, so they are all working from a basepoint of zero skill. They may be noticing him having trouble gripping the pencil/crayon correctly, etc, which OT can really help with. My 4 yr old has fine motor issues, too, that we are working on. he wasn't referred, but they did mention at conferences that its something we need to work with him to strengthen, expecially before he starts kindergarten in the fall.

Overall, it doesn't sound like any of the issues are too serious, and probably some tips from an OT will be really helpful to strengthen his motor skills.