At the end of my thether with SS now

[Aidan's Mummy]

I am SO angry right now it is unbelievable, as some of your know my OH isn't allowed to live with me or have unsupervised contact with Aidan due to him assaulting me. This happened in early september and since then he has come on leaps and bounds with regards to admitting he has a problem, going on a domestic violence course, anger management, counselling. My SW arranged a meeting for the 8th March, she arranged this around 4 weeks ago and we are now days away. Brandon went to his meeting with strength to change (domestic violence worker) and they are currently assesing his risk level which is at the moment low. The meeting on Thursday was arranged so my SW and the domestic violence worker could discuss his assesment and look at bringing him home in time for Olivers birth. My health visitor, Aidan's nursery worker, my domestic violence worker, my midwife and someone from the childrens centre is also meant to attend. Today when Brandon went he mentioned the meeting to his worker and she knew nothing about it and as a result she can not attend as it's too short notice I had a MW appointment today and again I mentioned it and she said she couldn;t attend as it was too short notice. I rang my domestic violence worker and she said that she can't attend as she knew nothing and it was too short notice. So at this point I am in tears because the WHOLE point of the meeting was to discuss Brandons risk and put a plan in place etc. So I rang my SW and she said it was MY responsibility to tell people about the meeting and invite them as it's my choice who is there. I was astounded and ended the phone call sobbing. I wasn't convinced and rang my HV (she knows about the meeting because I told her at her last visit) and she said that it is the SW's job to invite professionals not mine, I can choose who I wnat there to support me but professionals should be invited formally by the SW in good time so people can arrange it in their diarys. So now on thursday there will be me, Brandon, Aidan's nursery worker, my mum and dad and my HV the rest can't make it. The main professional that needed to be there can't make it either, so what the hell is this meeting going to achieve? I am so down right now because nothing seems to be getting solved and I really don't know how much more I can take. It's like I'm being punished for reporting domestic violence and the support/organisation is just so frustrating x

 

[Nats21]

Sorry hun thats awful. Could you maybe ring the SW again or someone higher up and complain, shes obviously not done her job right and then trys to blame you for it Hope you manage to get it sorted soon xx

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

like PP said, i'd definitely speak to somebody higher & explain the situation & say you want to make a formal complaint. It should not be left down to you to invite professionals, thats the SW's job! Hope you get something sorted in the near future & well done to your OH on his improvement xx

 

[babyblog]

That doesn't sound right to me, it is the Sw job to invite professionals, and this should be done in a formal manner, ie a letter of invitation. I would complain x

 

[Kimboowee]

I think a complaint should be put in too

 

[marley2580]

Can you try and get written statements from those people that can't make it? At least it would mean the whole picture was given at the meeting.

 

[mum22ttc#3]

Sorry I haven't much advice but if your HV is right, which it sounds like she is and it was your SW's job to invite the professional people that were to attend, then I think I would be complaining too.
Hope you manage to get it sorted soon.

 

[Bittersweet]

Fuck the complaints.

Google who the registering body for social service workers is in England (SSSC in Scotland) find the number and call them.

State her name, her job role and which council she is from. I'd let them know the situation and what she said to you.

Completely against codes of ethics she is NOT putting your wants and needs to be met she is NOT improving your quality of life.

She is also NOt tearfully your views.

Also. Call her let her know you want a new meeting and you want one asap or youl go to head of social services for her district. And let her know that it is her who calls not you! You are not the professional!

 

[Bittersweet]

Double post sorry!

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Fuck the complaints.

Google who the registering body for social service workers is in England (SSSC in Scotland) find the number and call them.

State her name, her job role and which council she is from. I'd let them know the situation and what she said to you.

Completely against codes of ethics she is NOT putting your wants and needs to be met she is NOT improving your quality of life.

She is also NOt tearfully your views.

Also. Call her let her know you want a new meeting and you want one asap or youl go to head of social services for her district. And let her know that it is her who calls not you! You are not the professional!

Thank you hun, what codes of ethics does she have to follow? And is she meant to work with the family as a whole? x

 

[Bittersweet]

[URL="https://www.gscc.org.uk/page/91/Get+copies+of+our+codes.html"[/URL]

Hope tha works! If not look up GSCC Codes of Practice and look at Employees of Social Services Itl tell you her full codes of practice.

It depends. She needs a holistic view so should be looking at re family situation as a whole however she is predominately your worker x

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

She said that she is here purley for Aidan ( my MW rang her worried about how down I was) and any issues I have isn't her concern x

 

[bigbetty]

She said that she is here purley for Aidan ( my MW rang her worried about how down I was) and any issues I have isn't her concern x

She sounds like a complete bitch to top off her incompetance. I'd definitely file a complaint about her xx

 

[Bittersweet]

No. If she was for Aiden, shed have brought in an independant advocate for his views and seek his opinion (even Aiden drawing a picture, role play etc) to which from what iv read she hasn't.

Actually. With Oliver in your tummy there is also the potential risk to an unborn child (I KNOW there isn't in terms of your oh or you but emotional distress there is because of her) so she should be looking at you as well. X

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

No. If she was for Aiden, shed have brought in an independant advocate for his views and seek his opinion (even Aiden drawing a picture, role play etc) to which from what iv read she hasn't.

Actually. With Oliver in your tummy there is also the potential risk to an unborn child (I KNOW there isn't in terms of your oh or you but emotional distress there is because of her) so she should be looking at you as well. X

Thank you so much, just a relief to feel I'm not making a huge issue out of nothing. I sort of plod through my day, get Aidan to bed at night and then just sit and cry . I feel so alone right now, in the pregnancy, coming to terms with the abuse, trying to juggle work/Aidan. Today at work I was close to tears several times and I just didn't know who to turn to. I have no 'real' friends that are there for me, my parents already do enough i.e. supervising contact with Aidan and OH and OH is trying his hardest I can't put it all on him. I just want this whole situation to be over or at least have support packages in place to help me deal with the current situtation

. I care about Olivers health and how is doing in there but when it comes to feeling that 'connection/maternal love' I just feel numb. My Hv thinks I'm antenatally depressed and I feel so guilty for feeling this way. I'm crying now and I just can't seem to pick myself up and get on with it this time. Every day is a struggle and I really feel for Aidan because he must be picking up on this Sorry for the essay just needed to get it out x

 

[Bittersweet]

Hun you may benefit from counselling. I agree you sound antenatal depressed.
You are not making a big deal out of nothing hun she's incompetent at her job hugely I think if you didn't have her stress you would be able to get everything dotted and it won't help youv had bad SPD either,

I also have you on facebook if you do need a chat or anymore guidance via SS get me there or here your doing a great job and I van see from fb how much you oh is making the effort to change.
X

 

[summer rain]

No advice but I think the other ladies have given good advice. xx