At what point do you seek help?

[hmommy219]

Hi ladies,

Well, AF arrived this weekend, so this means I'm officially on cycle #9 of TTC. I just turned 35 two weeks ago, and hubby is 46. My question is, at what point, if any, do you think I should seek fertility help? I have pretty regular cycles: usually 26-29 days every month, and don't drink, smoke, no coffee, mild excercise, good weight etc,. Not sure if I should just keep trying and "my time will come" or if I should jump on the clomid train or some other type of intervention? We use OPKs, preseed and are both taking Fertilaid.

I would appreciate any thoughts... thanks so much, and wishing you all

 

[phrumkidost]

Hi there,

In the end, I think the answer will be to do what feels right to you. I will tell you my story and thinking in case it helps.

I will be 36 in two weeks (how did the year go by so fast?!) and this is my 12th month of ttc. I ended going to a doc for regular thyroid blood work (have Graves disease, treated with radiation, now hypothyroid and taking thyroid replacement -- working okay for 10+ years) after 5 months of ttc. I mentioned my ttc woes and the doc suggested a referral to a specialist she knew of. I thought why not, since I kinda figured it would be difficult for me. I called to make an appointment and had to wait 3 months. I've seen her twice, gotten TONS of blood tests done, an ultrasound, and STILL no clear idea of what's going on and how to treat it. I am finally tracking my cycle with blood tests this month and think next month she may finally have a plan for me.

In short, I feel like this is taking a long time and I am glad I started when I did. I don't know how long things would take in your case, but I guess my advice would be to get started, knowing you could always cancel things later. But maybe better to have some options? Also, I was told that 12 months of no luck under 35 is considered infertile while 6 months of no luck while over 35 is infertile. I guess this is because they want to ask faster in our case. :/

In any case, as I said, I think the best advice is for you to do what feels right for you! Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[Fruitful]

Hi there! I'm in a very similar situation to you, having just gone into my 9th month ttc - I'm nearly 34. It can be a bit stressful, can't it?

My feeling is that, although there's a very good chance that we'll get pregnant naturally in the next few months, at our age it can't hurt to go and speak to a doctor, on the off-chance that there might be something wrong. It might be useful to have some basic tests run, and this doesn't mean you have to start on clomid or suchlike straight away if you don't feel comfortable with that.

All this said, I went to see a gynae last month and, having ascertained that I had regular periods and positive OPKs, she told me to keep trying and come back once we'd been trying for a year I'm still under the 35 mark, though, so I don't know whether she would have responded differently if I hadn't been - not that I imagine a year actually makes any difference in real terms, but I suppose they have to draw the line somewhere! Most organizations and websites seem to recommend going to get advice after six months trying if you're 35 or over.

Best of luck with your decision and with ttc. I hope you get your bfp soon!

 

[MnMommy]

I also just turned 35 (the end of September). We've been TTC for 5 months- I am in my 6th cycle. Because of that I called to set up an appointment with my OB thinking I would need to call a couple of weeks in advance, but they got me in the next day! I just asked these questions to my doctor on this last Wednesday. She said that since I just turned 35, she was going to give it a little longer. Basically at 9-10 months of TTC she will do the fertility tests if we haven't gotten pregnant yet. She looked at my charts and said everything looks good (which I know not everything that can go wrong would show up on the charts), but that she was going to check my progesterone after the temp increase to make sure that I am actually ovulating. (I was on Mirena with no AF for almost 4 years before removing it to TTC.)

Not all doctors will agree on when to do testing or what they need to see to start the testing. I admittedly went in a little early probably. But my thought on it (and I don't know your circumstances are at all) was that I have health insurance to cover the visit and she was willing to see me, why not go in and see what she has to say? Ultimately it made me feel better, which means less stress, which hopefully means a more likey BFP this month!

 

[pbl_ge]

I agree with those who say it's mostly up to you. I had thought that most US doctors tell those 35+ to try on their own for 6 months, then come seek help. If you're impatient and your doctor tells you that you must wait longer, you could probably find another doctor who would start testing you sooner.

I just turned 35 recently, and started to TTC in May, then got a BFP in August. It turned out to be ectopic cry, so now my clock is reset and I haven't even had a normal period again yet. My point is that this can be a drawn out, complex process, so you don't want to put off the medical assessment too long. The BFP, when it finally comes, may not lead directly to a baby.

Good luck and to all of you!

 

[hmommy219]

Ladies, thanks so much for your replies. I went ahead and called my obgyn and have an appointment next Tues. I've heard there's some type of "new" test that checks the quality of your eggs... I think I'll also ask for a thyroid check. I'll keep you all posted.

Again, thanks for responding.. it's always nice to hear from people who are actually in your boat. Wishing you all truck loads of fertility dust!!

 

[Juniperjules]

Hi there,
Im going by the line that the fertility specialists here (australia) go by, which is that if ur over 35 & have TTC for 6months with no success, then you should start getting tested. And if u find problems u can then decide if u want to start taking further measures such as fertility medications, or iui, ivf etc. But of course all the while still TTC naturally as ur going thru the process just incase.

Im 37, & went to see my GP a few weeks ago. She told me that she doesn't like women to waste much time at my age, & so I'm actually going for my cd21 blood test tomoro (plus all the others such as rubella, varicella etc). She also said to get my OH sperm analysis done which we'll probably do next week.

It is a very personal thing, but I think most experts here anyway would say after 6months you should definitely start getting tested.

Good luck!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Good for you for going ahead and making that appointment! It really is up to you. I just hate how doctors are so casual about fertility issues. It's fine if a woman is not concerned and wants to wait, but any woman should be able to decide for herself if she feels there may be a problem.

It took me 8 months to conceive my first and I was 35 as well. If I had to do it all over again, I would have gone ahead and gotten help after 6 months. I mentioned my concerns to my OB/GYN, but he was unconcerned.

I'm trying for my second child and we've been trying for nearly a year and it looks like I may have a problem with my thyroid. I've read that pregnancy can bring on thyroid issues in women who have borderline issues, so I can't help but think I could have avoided all of this angst if I had gotten checked out when I was trying the first time.

I went straight to an RE this time instead of going to my OB/GYN because I knew if he wasn't concerned the first time, he would be doubly unconcerned now that I've had a child.

 

[nobubsyet]

Hello ladies, I am in a similar situation, been trying for 7 months now and no baby yet - my husband keeps telling me that it takes an average of 1 year but it is hard not to be disappointed every month when menstrual cycle arrives!

My doctor (UK) says to wait 1 year before asking for fertility testing as being 35 is no longer considered as "old". We have not told anyone we are trying as I have had a long history of cervix problems with increased chance of miscarriage.

Today I found out 2 other very close friends who were also married in the same year as us are pregnant and that they were not even trying - whilst iver the moon for them news like that just breaks my heart when it has been so hard for us.

Sending lots of luck to all you ladies
xxx

 

[hmommy219]

Hello ladies, I am in a similar situation, been trying for 7 months now and no baby yet - my husband keeps telling me that it takes an average of 1 year but it is hard not to be disappointed every month when menstrual cycle arrives!

My doctor (UK) says to wait 1 year before asking for fertility testing as being 35 is no longer considered as "old". We have not told anyone we are trying as I have had a long history of cervix problems with increased chance of miscarriage.

Today I found out 2 other very close friends who were also married in the same year as us are pregnant and that they were not even trying - whilst iver the moon for them news like that just breaks my heart when it has been so hard for us.

Sending lots of luck to all you ladies
xxx

I completely understand your feelings. My neighbor just came and told us she's having twins and my hubby and I were just sort of standing there saying, in a not so very convincing way "oohh... we're so happy for you.." lol.. it makes me feel like a terrible person when I feel sad instead of happy for someone in that situation, and I have to try my best to be optimistic. Well, good luck to you, and here's to a new cycle.. a new chance of luck.