Awkward and alienation

[jeanyern123]

I want to be the first to touch baby, unravel the cord and only lift baby upwards towards my chest... first kisses, first cuddles even the first words to babies ears will be mine.

Now I need tell my midwife these things (amongst all of my other wants).

My question to mummies is... When does something become too awkward to ask the midwife? and Can you alienate yourself by asking too much of the midwife?

 

[Sam Pearson]

I would always be as open as possible. You only get one chance to birth this particular baby. Have a look at this. It's about how vital the culturing the baby's biodome is - you are on the right track not wanting anybody else to touch your baby. When it comes to childbirth it's all about the mother and baby. Once the birthing has occurred it's vital to protect the mother baby unit for those vital first seconds, minutes, and hours. You can never have that initial time together again and it's not just about meeting each other and bonding emotionally but about setting baby's immune system up to reach it's full potential.

https://midwifethinking.com/2014/01...ions-for-pregnancy-birth-and-early-mothering/

 

[ttc bubby no2]

I think your wishes are all reasonable and part of the reason to choose to have a home birth and an independent midwife is to be able to voice your wishes.

I'm not sure how far along you are but I found my appointments with my IM to be more about just chatting and both of us getting to know each other and her finding out what my wishes were. It just seemed to come naturally. I didn't specifically state the things you are asking for but if I had I know she would have been fine about it.

 

[Feronia]

I think it's very important for you to tell your midwife your hopes for the birth -- don't feel awkward about it. If you have a doula, make sure she knows as well.

As a future midwife, I would certainly want to know these things and would do my best to help you get the birth you want.

I had a home water birth and was the first to touch my baby and bring her up to my chest. It was amazing, and I didn't even have to ask my midwives. They let me do it naturally, so it totally isn't out of the ordinary to make sure that they are on the same page as you.

 

[Kitters]

That all sounds perfectly reasonable to me! I would say that if your midwife is the kind of person to have a bad reaction to that, you need to find out now as she may not be the best person to have at your birth.

 

[noon_child]

It doesn't seem unreasonable. She may want to "help" you lift the child (like stabilising your hands and arms using hers) because post birth you could be quite shaky and weak (or not who knows!) but if she knows in advance you can discuss exactly how it will work incase she does have any concerns.