im not going to say i know how you feel because every one is differnt but i had a similar story i lost my little boy 5days old and im still waiting for apt at hospital to get answers. I feel i have changed so much as a person and bitter and angry is exactly how i am, i just look at other people with babies and think why cant i be one of them? and why me?? and to be honest I think we will always feel like that, because it just seems to happen to the mom's who never risked their babies health for a second, always the ones who least deserve it x