Baby only sleeps in my arms during the day...advice needed!

[Bing28]

We have a Moses basket in the lounge and a rocking crib in our bedroom.

Our little one only sleeps in my arms during the daytime. Every time she falls asleep and I try to put her in the Moses basket she will wake up within 10-15 minutes. This has resulted in me struggling to even find time for a shower and often I have to just leave her in her Moses basket crying whilst I sterilise bottles, go to toilet, put washing in the washing machine etc. It also means I can never get any sleep during the day so o am absolutely exhausted.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can get her to sleep in her Moses basket during the day?

She goes down fine at around 7-8pm in her crib for around 3-4 hours after her nighttime routine. I'll then feed, wind change her and she'll generally go back down again for another 2-4 hours until 2-4pm. She'll then get a bit restless when I try to get her to go back down and we'll generally co-sleep for the rest of the night.

We live over 100 miles from family so when she was born we had visitors staying every day for a week which meant she was being constantly held. I kind of feel a bit annoyed at all these visitors and feel this may be the reason why she won't go down in the day now and it's making me resent any future visitors too!

Also because I'm so tired its affecting my relationship with my hubby as I'm so exhausted and really snappy at him.

Any advice would be great! Tia

 

[Wugz22]

Have you tried baby-wearing? At least you could have your hands free to get somethings done. My first baby couldn't be put down for a second during the day. I finally started wearing him in an Ergo carrier and he snoozed away while I cleaned up, cooked, etc.

I thought my second baby was the same way - every time I'd put her down asleep, she'd pop up in 15 minutes. Then I learned if I let her settle herself down for a nap in her crib, she'd sleep much longer. I discovered that while she was laying in her crib while I was blow drying my hair. The loud white noise made her drift off all on her own, no rocking or anything, and she slept for a full hour. I tried it again for the next nap, this time just using our white noise machine turned up pretty high - I swaddled her and put her down when I could tell her eyes were getting heavy and she drifted off on her own again. I think babies tend to stay asleep to whatever put them to sleep, so if motion or holding put them to sleep, they'll wake up when that stops.

 

[Berri]

Ds1 would only sleep if being held during the day. He hated naps (it had nothing to do with visitors holding him cause there weren't many). Anyway I accepted it and used to sit on the couch with him while he slept. At 14 months and out of nowhere he started napping in the cot. He's over 3.5 now and still naps once a day!

 

[2have4kids]

I baby wear with a wrap during the day and my little lady sleeps in this. She hated to be put down alone in her first 2 weeks but we're working on getting more and more naps in alone in her bassinette. She's been in there for 3 hours so far today - success! We went to 2 consultations, one private at the local library and one gov't -hosted at a hospital on sleep. They all said to put the baby down when awake, use no sleep props ie music, mobiles, teddies (at least until 6mnths), don't milk feed to the point where they're asleep already, no rocking to sleep every time. They need to work on self soothing and you don't want to wind up with problem sleepers that rely on crutches to get to sleep. They said to wean off any co-sleeping at least by their transition period at 6 months. The 6 month point should be where they start sleeping in their crib in their bedroom. The rooms should be pitch black, if there's a little light on your baby monitor, put something over it - provide zero stimulation. White noise they said is ok because it's constant unlike music. And always try to have a routine ie wipe face, milk, cuddle time, etc before bed. At 6+ mnths introduce a stuffy and maybe a short book but never read till they fall asleep, ensure they're awake when you turn off the lights. The stuffy after 6 months is only allowed to be cuddled in the bed and at sleep time. Other stuffies can be outside of the bedtime routine. When you travel this 'sleep stuffy' will then queue them up to go to sleep (and on a daily basis at home for nap time too). Putting children to bed awake means as they grow older they will be able to put themselves to bed. As teenagers, they'll be less likely to struggle with self regulating and getting to bed at a decent time. They won't eat before bed if you ensure they aren't falling asleep due to milk enebriation etc and other 'sleep prop' fixes that act like crutches.

I had success giving my DD a slightly warmed rice pack on her feet or next to her side while she falls asleep, she does much better when she has this and I wonder if it mimicks our body heat? Reminds them someone's there? I hope something works for you. There are lots of sleep consultants & resources out there, do reach out if nothing starts working for you - you need down time to help you be a good mom

 

[JumpingIn]

And remember that none of that works if your baby has medical issues like belly ache, trapped wind etc so rule those out first. Being on you is actually a painkiller according to a recent study!

 

[londonangel]

Unfortunately some babies are just like that. Mine is nearly nine months and getting her to nap in her cot during the day is almost impossible although she is fine at night, put down awake and sleeps all night.

Your baby is still very little and actually in general it sounds like she is doing great with sleep. Do you have a bouncy chair that she can sit in while you do things? It helped with both my kids as it meantt they could be wherever I was, although baby 2 wouldn't sleep in it much.

You could try putting baby down at set times for naps. I don't because I like going out for walks in the morning and always have to get eldest from school in the afternoon but it may help.

Don't worry too much about house tasks - it can be hard to do them when your little one is crying.

It gets easier, I promise!

 

[MindUtopia]

We got a wrap so our daughter could sleep and we could do whatever we needed to around the house. I also would lie down with her and sleep during the day. It meant I got sleep and so did she. This worked great for us. I think there are those magical babies that sleep on their own from the start, but I think they are few and far between. All the rest would prefer to be held and it's good for their development too and great bonding time and it also forces you to sit down and rest as well (showering, cleaning, sterilising can all be done when your partner is home, I never bothered any of that during the day). And don't worry about any of that junk about creating 'bad habits'. We did absolutely everything that any sleep expert would say creates 'bad habits', and I think my daughter is now a pretty good sleeper with no bad habits to speak of. She learned to self-settle on her own when she was old enough and sleeps pretty well. She's 2.5 now and was held to sleep for every nap until she was 8 months. She sleeps as well or better than any toddler of the same age I know.

 

[spicyorange]

For the first few months baby's want to be close, baby wearing might be the answer.
You can't spoil a baby or create bad habits this young.

 

[Countrygirl13]

Baby wearing sounds like the best idea. Your LO is exactly like mine was. In my more sleep- deprived madness I hoped someone would invent a contraption that I could strap myself into upright (like an adult door bouncer), my LO in her wrap on my chest. I could then go to sleep Zzzz.... Suffice to say I have not seen one of those yet. I have seen a weird picture on Facebook of a baby tied in a wrap to a large sack of rice. Thankfully they don't sell rice in bags like that down our shop or I may have been tempted!

 

[2have4kids]

And don't worry about any of that junk about creating 'bad habits'. We did absolutely everything that any sleep expert would say creates 'bad habits', and I think my daughter is now a pretty good sleeper with no bad habits to speak of.

So everyone's advice, with the exception of yours is 'junk' due to what worked for you? I don't think anyone here has claimed their advice to be perfect but has provided suggestions they've either heard from professionals or which has worked for them. Your comments are downright rude.

 

[pachamama92]

2have4kids thanks for the ricepack idea DS2 just wants held all day. I love holding him and our little naps together but I have DS1 to look after too..

 

[Larkspur]

And don't worry about any of that junk about creating 'bad habits'. We did absolutely everything that any sleep expert would say creates 'bad habits', and I think my daughter is now a pretty good sleeper with no bad habits to speak of.

So everyone's advice, with the exception of yours is 'junk' due to what worked for you? I don't think anyone here has claimed their advice to be perfect but has provided suggestions they've either heard from professionals or which has worked for them. Your comments are downright rude.

I think she's just referring to the typical advice you see in old-school baby books or get from older generations, not anything posted here. I can't actually see that anyone has said holding a baby creates "bad habits", it was just something the OP was worried might have happened from her family holding the baby.

MindUtopia wasn't having a go at you, and neither am I, but in reality your baby is only a few weeks old and sleep is a long game when it comes to babies (and even toddlers). Many, many mums have struggled with the fact that their babies just won't sleep the way "the professionals" say they should, despite their best attempts to follow conventional advice.

OP, it definitely wasn't your family holding the baby that made her want to sleep on you! Some babies are just like that! My son always napped in his hammock but my daughter flat-out refused to (even though she slept well in it at night, go figure).

A Mobi-style wrap and later an Ergo carrier were my lifesavers. At around five months she suddenly started to accept being put in her cot, and she has napped fine there ever since. Don't worry, it's a phase that won't last forever, and is not a "bad habit". Every child has different sleep needs and styles.

 

[2have4kids]

And don't worry about any of that junk about creating 'bad habits'. We did absolutely everything that any sleep expert would say creates 'bad habits', and I think my daughter is now a pretty good sleeper with no bad habits to speak of.

So everyone's advice, with the exception of yours is 'junk' due to what worked for you? I don't think anyone here has claimed their advice to be perfect but has provided suggestions they've either heard from professionals or which has worked for them. Your comments are downright rude.

I think she's just referring to the typical advice you see in old-school baby books or get from older generations, not anything posted here. I can't actually see that anyone has said holding a baby creates "bad habits", it was just something the OP was worried might have happened from her family holding the baby.

MindUtopia wasn't having a go at you, and neither am I, but in reality your baby is only a few weeks old and sleep is a long game when it comes to babies (and even toddlers). Many, many mums have struggled with the fact that their babies just won't sleep the way "the professionals" say they should, despite their best attempts to follow conventional advice.

Even though my baby is only a few weeks old I still wouldn't invalidate any lady's here or advice they've been given. Thankfully I'm not there yet but fully expect our baby to evolve too as OP's has. Keeping an open mind has usually proven most successful, coming on telling others that certain advice is junk just sounded a wee bit negative. I appreciate you trying to smooth things - thank you.